little Leo is having trouble trusting these new turtles…
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@bitchboysstuff
little Leo is having trouble trusting these new turtles…
full pic:

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Thomas and Martha Wayne were both born and bred Gothammites, no doubt about it.
Bruce on the other hand, well the boy certainly had been born in Gotham.
After the loss of his parents, the Wayne Enterprise board had come to a decision.
Bruce, along with his trusted Butler, had been shipped out to the Middle of Nowhere, prime Americana, at the ripe age of 8 and a half. To avoid danger, naturally.
That's how the young heir found himself, all alone besides Alfred, in Smallville, Kansas.
Until he met the starry eyed boy from a neighboring farm.
[Superbat childhood friends/teenage sweethearts AU]
obviously in any universe alfred will always love bruce unconditionally and to the end but i do enjoy that battinson’s alfred gives off the vibes that he wants to punt bruce into oncoming traffic
i have a no capes au stuck in my head
clark kent goes to gotham to interview battinson and half way thru realizes that battinson never really had a chance to actually live, to enjoy life, so instead he decides to go sightseeing with battinson for the rest of the day they're together.
im talking trying out the best hotdog places, going bowling, ice skating and rock climbing, having dinner at 3pm and if any paparazzi comes over to try anything, clark will give them the scariest fricking glare. the day ends with them sitting on a rooftop, staring at the beautiful sunset.
bruce finally gets to see the beautiful part of gotham, that gotham isn't all guns and violence. clark stays the night and in the morning, alfred and bruce are shocked to see breakfast already cooked (apple pie). after breakfast, clark goes "ready for sightseeing day two?"
NO CAPES AU MY BELOVED- Bruce is just... Incredibly nervous to meet Clark Kent, aka his favourite Daily Planet reporter; He's heard Clark rip into billionaires and pick his teeth with men like Bruce. Sure, - Bruce ACTUALLY puts his privilege to good use, but will that be enough?
That's how he ends up hiding under his desk with his security team and secretary trying to fish him out; I'd also love it if WE's security staff was made of like. Macho gym bros with valid energy.
" Come on, bro! He's not gonna be THAT bad."
" Dude, don't call Mr. Wayne " bro" , bro!"
" Nah bro, he likes it. Come on Bruce- Bro, I'll tell Rachel to bring you your anxiety meds. We got you, dude."
Bruce's secretary has no time for this foolishness and drags him to Clark by the ear. Bruce is naturally so shy and introverted, but Clark has all the patience in the world.
Everyone in Gotham already knows Bruce because that dork goes out with his kids ALL the time; I need Gothamites to hype him up so badly, especially the old ladies at food trucks and little restaurants.
" Did you know that little Brucie here used to volunteer at soup kitchens all the time with his folks? And now his rich butt does the same with his kids! You should write about that, cuz that Lex guy could learn a thing or two"
" Bruce here? Paid for that son of mine to go to college, - hell, 60% of kids can afford school cuz of him! Oh don't tell me to be quiet, I said what I said and said right!"
Bruce sports a permanent blush the whole time and Clark definetly wants to pet his hair. Give me Battinson marvelling at just how far Gotham improved with his help, thought.
It's still the same old heavy aired, monochromatic block of shadows, but during daylight? Bruce loves feeding the ducks by the park. " Evil. Evil creatures. Feed." While throwing food at them, and Clark has to struggle not to laugh sjsjs
Give me Bruce who stops mid date (is it a date, Clark wonders. He hopes it is.) To stop and say hi to garbage collectors (they're on first name basis, Clark notices) and off the clock sex workers who flirt just to send him in an embarrassed frenzy.
But everywhere they go, they all regard Clark with the same gaze. Take care of him, it reads. And yeah, Clark wants to say, that's all I really want to do
Clark NEEDS to get Bruce in Metropolis; Because he has the cosiest apartment if Bruce doesn't like being outside. With... Just as fun attractions...
I can't stop thinking about the Justice League's reaction to Battinson trusting them enough to reveal his real identity. I mean, can you IMAGINE? your co- worker is Batman. socially awkward, but lovable weirdo who puts the fear of GOD in every villain you come across with his scowl alone.
But he looks like THIS under that cowl:
I would pass the fuck away.

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Superman introducing Battinson Bruce to his parents though.
Ma and Pa Kent open the door, ready to meet their boy’s new bf, but it’s only Clark on the porch.
Clark: :D
Ma: Hi, honey. Where is your boy?
And then, peeking around the door frame, is Bruce in a suit and long wool coat, gaunt, squinting against the sun.
Bruce: hi it’s nice to meet you I’m Bruce
Pa: Oh, you didn’t have to get all dressed up to meet us!
Bruce: Mybutlermademe
Ma: Butler? Mercy, Clark, where did you find this one?
—
Clark disappears into the kitchen to help Ma with dinner, leaving Bruce and Pa sitting in the front room watching a baseball game. Bruce is sitting in an armchair, stiff as a board, anxiety level 100.
Pa: So Clark tells me you do the same sort of thing he does? Swoop around and help folks and such?
Bruce, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind: I can’t fly.
Pa: Wh—Okay?
Bruce: I am a bat but I can’t fly. Not without my Wingsuit.
Pa:…
Bruce, realizing what he just said: never mind
Pa, turning back to the tv: So how about them Yankees?
—
Ma: And this is our chicken coop. It’s a little musty, but Clark comes by to help tidy up once a week.
Bruce: *observing*
Ma: There’s this got-dang coyote—
Bruce, pointing at the corner: The coyote that’s been eating your chickens is burrowing under there. Reinforce it.
Ma:…I love you.
—
Pa: So what’s it like in Gotham?
Bruce, hunching over: The city is overrun with crime. Darkness lurks in every corner. We have an average twelve days of sun a year. Recently there has been a noxious cloud of gas hanging over the city center. I perch myself on my tower to observe. I become part of the building. I am a gargoyle.
Pa:…
Pa: Do you like living there?
Bruce, whispering fiercely: iloveit
—
Clark, flying Bruce back home: My parents love you.
Bruce: okay
Clark: They’re convinced you’re a cryptid that’s latched onto my soul, though.
Dick Grayson, age 9: Bruce it’s parent night at school. Do you remember? You have to meet with my teacher at 7:15.
(Battinson) Bruce, standing very still because one of the bats landed on his head and he’s not sure what do to: 7:15?
Dick: yeah!
Bruce: …do you need a babysitter? Alfred is in New York.
Dick: yeah you should probably get someone to watch me? I’m only nine. *holds up nine fingers* I’m little, Bruce.
Bruce, still frozen with the bat nestling into his hair: clark I need your help
—
Dick: Bruce you can’t wear a Nine Inch Nails t-shirt and sunglasses to the parent teacher conference. And you need to wash your hair. There was a bat in it earlier.
Bruce: okay
—
Clark, with Dick climbing all over him like a jungle gym: What’s his bed time?
Bruce, pulling on his woolen coat, ready to walk out the door: bed time?
Clark: Yeah, the time he needs to be in bed? Because he’s a child?
Bruce:
Clark:
Dick: I usually sleep at 8:00, Clark.
Clark: Oh good, I was worried—
Dick: Unless it’s the weekend, then B lets me go out and beat up bad guys with him and we get McDonalds at 4 AM!!!! And he got me a booster seat so I can drive the Batmobile now!!!!
Clark: Bruce I think we need to talk—
Bruce: bye
—
Bruce, sitting down in the small kid-sized chair opposite Ms. Wilson, Dick’s teacher: hi I’m Bruce
Ms. Wilson: Hello, Bruce. Thanks for coming. I just wanted to check in and let you know how Dick is doing academically and socially. I know he’s has a rough couple of years, but I want to start by saying that he’s a remarkably well-adjusted boy overall. He hasn’t gotten into any fights in five months!
Bruce, overjoyed, bursting with happiness: hn
—
Meanwhile, Clark and Dick are snacking on some pizza and watching Encanto. Dick is leaning against Clark’s arm.
Dick: I know you’re Bruce’s boyfriend.
Clark, pizza halfway to his mouth: ???
Dick: I saw you kiss him last week.
Clark, blushing: Dick…
Dick: You shoved him real hard against the wall.
Clark, blushing at maximum levels, because darn it Bruce you and your got-dang strength kink: Dick, this isn’t appropriate…
Dick, not taking his eyes off the movie: if you hurt him I’ll find a way to hurt you.
Clark:
Dick: *yawns*
—
Later that night, Bruce gets home and sees Dick asleep and drooling on Clark’s shoulder. Clark is watching Homeward Bound and crying a little.
Bruce: how was he
Clark: Good. He’s great. :)
Bruce: is something wrong
Clark: I think a nine year old just gave me a shovel talk.
TMNT is such a bizarrely cruel franchise for what it is; EVERY version we’ll spend 90% of the story like “Hahe funny pizza 🤡” and then cut to 30 years later and 3 of them are dead and the fourth one goes insane talking to their skulls in a bunker or smth
they went through some shit too aye
I love/hate how with each version of Leo he gets thrown through windows both figuratively and literally like-
2003 Leo: Gets his ass ambushed by the Foot and thrown through a window and goes into a few hour coma
2012 Leo: Nearly drowns in the Techodome, gets his ass ambushed by the Foot, his knee shattered and his vocal chords fucked up and then gets thrown through a window and ends up in a 3 month coma
2018 Leo: GETS SENT TO A PRISON DIMENSION AFTER NEARLY LOSING HIS FAMILY TO AN ALIEN RACE SEVERAL TIMES THROUGHOUT THE INVASION AND PROCEEDS TO HAVE THE EVER LOVING FUCK BEATEN OUT OF HIM IN SAID DIMENSION
Like every single time they just up that window shit and good God it fucking hurts me but fucking hell I live and breathe that Leonardo Angst like a crackhead under a bridge.
back on my tmnt shit

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Special note to loveless aros because I know it's going to be a month where everyone talks about love and romantic attraction (or lack of) among other stuff
But you being loveless doesn't make you less queer, less of an individual or less anything. You matter as much as anyone else and I just want to take a minute to tell you all that.
Happy pride to you, loveless aros!
Pride month is less than a week away?! Anyway, just reminding y’all that the A in LGBTQIA+ stands for Asexual, Aromantic, Agender and other labels but not Ally.
I think some of you may have thought I was joking about the lego batman movie being a cinematic masterpiece but I am deadly serious and am barely restraining myself from gushing about it
please gush about it im intrigued
ultimate spider-man og shield team queerplatonic polycule. i’m literally just saying words now
its fine theyre good words

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(grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you) Harry Osborn's quest for revenge is so much more motivated by who he thinks he should be rather than who he actually is. The Goblin persona does not represent hatred or malice to him, it represents power. Harry becomes the Goblin whenever he feels cornered into it by dire circumstances, and that response is a direct result of his childhood trauma. He feels he has to shed all signs of vulnerability and become the aggressor in the face of struggle because Norman shamed him for his softness and made Harry a continous target of his abuse. The Goblin is bad for Harry even when he is not using it for evil because in either case it's a way of self harming via putting himself in situations far too stressful for his sensitive nature and an attempt to become somebody he isn't, born from internalized self loathing.
SCOOBY DOO AND BATMAN CROSSOVER ON HBO MAX???
i might be a little high but i KNOW this shit is still amazing sober. I want to see how this was pitched as a concept.
"Take the van teenagers,,,,, and throw in BATMAN"