Lift, Squat, Eat, Sleep. Repeat.

BODY POSITIVE

how to stop putting yourself down

Self confidence

How to be ok with yourself

tips on self-love

Confidence

Learn to love yourself

when told you are not pretty

emergency compliment

This is not fit!

If this is happening to you, then something is wrong!

Yes yes, it’s a common joke that “fit” people are well hydrated and so they have to pee pretty frequently. But let’s not ignore the fact that this is genuinely a health issue that needs to be addressed! Don’t let it be dismissed as a joke just because you’re calling it a “fit” problem.   

Frequent urination can be the sign of a much bigger health problem. If you are literally going every 30 minutes, then it’s time to contact your doctor. Your body should be able to hold onto and process water much more efficiently than that. Especially if you have to get up at night in order to use the bathroom, you could possibly be suffering from: prostate issues, diabetes, interstitial cystitis, neurological damage, bladder dysfunction, involuntary contractions, UTI, poor reaction to medication, or more. Get it checked out.

According to the Bladder and Bowel Foundation (these people are the Lords of Pee, they know their stuff), a normal frequency for hitting the bathroom is  ”6 - 7 times in a 24 hour period, yet between 4 and 10 times a day can also be normal if that person is healthy and happy with the number of times they visit the toilet.” This basically means that a healthy person will be averaging a pee every 3-4 hours. It’s one thing if you just increased your water intake and are having trouble adjusting, but it’s another thing if this has been going on for more than a few days in a row. That’s when it’s a serious problem and not just a jokey “haha, I have to pee again!” problem. 

None of the following is simple or immediate.

None of the following will happen all the time.

There will be backtracks.

And that’s okay. Keep going forward.

Wear and/or reveal what you want to wear and/or reveal. If people talk, address them politely, but firmly. If they continue to talk, shut them down. If they yet persist, cut them from your life. There are no exceptions. My policy is “you will show respect or you will be removed, there are no alternatives.”

The above includes makeup, clothing, lingerie, and all other items.

In all styles, fashions, colors, genres, etc.

Separate out “health” when it comes to weight. A non-doctor: “You could lose some weight” is an asshole. Do not listen to this person. They do not have a valid concern.A doctor: “You could lose some weight, I’m worried about [medical issue that is severely affecting your life]” has a valid concern. Decide how important your health is to you, and act accordingly with this information in tow. You are now making an informed choice.

Do not buy or read blogs, magazines, comments, etc. that target your insecurities. You are the editor of your life. Cut out the garbage and all that isn’t useful.

"Guilty pleasure" is a marketing term used to get you to buy the thing you feel "guilty" about, then buy more things to absolve yourself of said "guilt". Do not feel guilty about your pleasures.

Do not. Feel guilty. About. Your pleasures.

You will not be everyone’s type — body, attitude, whatever. That’s fine. You aren’t alive in service of other folk anyway. Be your own type. Not knowing what your own “type” means you research and experimentation. Take what you like, reject what you don’t. I’m the world’s worst, most colorfully dressed, grinning fool of a gothy-bastard. Whenever anyone tries to take away the filaments of personality I call “goth,” I have my pet raven peck the shit out of them.

Accept criticism that is useful. Reject critics that are not.

I love this paper my disability department gave me. The representative also told me to report ANY kind of ableism, even if it seems minuscule to me.

The top three are hard to read so:

Disability accommodations are rights, not special help. (Ask for what you need. Advocate for yourself.)

You are an important and valuable part of campus diversity. (Diversity includes disability.)

4. Feed your soul and your body - recharge your batteries. (Balance your valuable time, energy, and health)

5. Stay focused on your career. (if it won’t help you get a job or maintain your passion for college, don’t bother)

6. Find a community. (Never go at it alone. Consider connecting with others who have disabilities)

7. Universally design your own learning. (Learn how you learn best, and then use your strengths and unique learning style)

8. Never apologize for your disability or your accommodations. (If you apologize, people may think you’re ashamed.)

9. Fight oppression and bullying in any form. (Ableism is just one “ism.” If one of us is oppressed, all of us are oppressed.) 

Stop using the “o” words to describe fat people. The O words “obese” and “overweight” are clinical terms that reinforce the idea that human bodies should all fall into a narrow range of weight in order to be considered healthy. This is problematic on many levels.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:     

Stay with us and keep calm. The last thing we need when we’re panicking, is to have someone else panicking with us.

Offer medicine if we usually take it during an attack. You might have to ask whether or not we take medicine- heck, some might not; but please, ask. It really helps.

Move us to a quiet place. We need time to think, to breathe. Being surrounded by people isn’t going to help.

Don’t make assumptions about what we need. Ask. We’ll tell you what we need. Sometimes; you may have to ask- but never assume.

Speak to us in short, simple sentences.

Be predictable. Avoid surprises.

Help slow our breathing by breathing us or by counting slowly to 10. As odd as it sounds, it works.

                                                                                                                  WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO: 1. Say, “You have nothing to be panicked about.” We know. We know. We know. And because we know we have nothing to be panicked about, we panic even more. When I realize that my anxiety is unfounded, I panic even more because then I feel like I’m not in touch with reality. It’s unsettling. Scary. Most of the time, a panic attack is irrational. Sometimes they stem from circumstances — a certain couch triggers a bad memory or being on an airplane makes you claustrophobic or a break up causes you to flip your lid — but mostly, the reasons I’m panicking are complex, hard to articulate or simply, unknown. I could tell myself all day that I have no reason to be having a panic attack and I would still be panicking. Sometimes, because I’m a perfectionist, I become even more overwhelmed when I think my behaviour is “unacceptable” (as I often believe it is when I’m panicking). I know it’s all in my mind, but my mind can be a pretty dark and scary place when it gets going. Alternate suggestion: Say, “I understand you’re upset. It is okay. You have a right to be upset and I am here to help.” 2. Say, “Calm down.” This reminds me of a MadTV sketch where Bob Newhart plays a therapist who tells his patients to simply “Stop it!” whenever they express anxiety or fear. As a sketch, it’s funny. In real life, it’s one of the worst things you can do to someone having a panic attack. When someone tells me to “stop panicking” or to “calm down,” I just think, “Oh, okay. I haven’t tried that one. Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper and jot that down, you jerk.” Instead of taking action so that they do relax, simply telling a panicking person to “calm down” or “stop it” does nothing. No-thing. Alternate suggestion: The best thing to do is to listen and support. In order to calm them down without the generalities, counting helps. 3. Say, “I’m just going to leave you alone for a minute.” Being left alone while panicking makes my heart race even harder. The last thing I want is to be left by myself with my troubled brain. Many of my panic attacks spark from over-thinking and it’s helpful to have another person with me, not only for medical reasons (in case I pass out or need water) but also it’s helpful to have another person around to force me to think about something other than the noise in my head. Alternate suggestion: It sometimes helps me if the person I’m with distracts me by telling me a story or sings to me. I need to get out of my own head and think about something other than my own panic. 4. Say, “You’re overreacting.” Here’s the thing: I’m not. Panic attacks might be in my head, but I’m in actual physical pain. If you’d cut open your leg, no one would be telling you you’re overreacting. It’s a common trope in mental health to diminish the feelings or experience of someone suffering from anxiety or panic because there’s no visible physical ailment and because there’s no discernible reason for the person to be having such a strong fear reaction. The worst thing you can tell someone who is panicking is that they are overreacting. Alternate suggestion: Treat a panic attack like any other medical emergency. Listen to what the person is telling you. Get them water if they need it. It helps me if someone rubs my back a little. If you’re in over your head, don’t hesitate to call 911 (or whatever the emergency services number is where you are). But please, take the person seriously. Mental health deserves the same respect as physical health.

Sometimes it repeats in your head. “I’m not good enough.”

You might see some amazing artwork and compare it to your own and feel lousy. You might spend hours trying to make something look right and you *just* can’t get it there. You might think your artistic contributions are useless in the long run.

Everyone feels this way from time to time, or a lot of the time. The truth is… you are your own worst critic. For the most part, anyone who sees your artwork is going to be impacted by the initial emotion you put forth and wont obsess about the flaws the way that you do.

Yeah, improvement is always the goal, but you won’t get there if the only thing you’re motivating yourself with is negativity. You can’t shame or hate yourself into being better. It doesn’t work that way! Strangely enough, you need positivity and inspiration to get you anywhere worthwhile. Practice being positive as much as you practice your skill itself- often!

I try to remember that art isn’t just a demonstration of skill, it’s a language we communicate in. It doesn’t matter so much if you can’t get the words out right, if you have something fantastic to say, it’ll come across. And the best part is everyone has something unique to say! There is only one You, so you owe it to the world to explore the unique brand of creativity that only you can procure :)

bitches I love ya. Never hate yourself for what you can’t do, but love yourself for what you try to do.

1.    Stop fantasising:  Those with too rosy a picture of the future tend to put less effort into reaching their goals. Instead, it’s better to be open to some things going wrong. It will help you see the obstacles - and think through beating them.

2.    Visualise process NOT outcome: If you can think through all the steps you will forge a better plan … and it will also help reduce anxiety.

3.    Be committed: You won’t achieve anything without getting started; and you won’t ever finish if you give up easily.

4.    Beware of the “what-the-hell effect”: Too many just give up when they stumble or fall down. For example, think of all the dieters who binge at the first hurdle. It’s better to get up – and see a trip as very normal. It’s happens to us all – so don’t abandon your plan.

5.    Attack procrastination: It’s easy to procrastinate when getting going’s tough. Make a start, keep your head down, and set yourself some deadlines. Once you start you’ll feel much better and the road won’t seem so hard.

6.    Switch out of robot mode: A lot of behaviour is robotic and habitual. We copy other people or we do “the same old, same old”. Take stock … and change those patterns … if they don’t lead to your goals.

When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.

So starting today…

Give up trying to be perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  

Give up comparing yourself to others. – The only person you are competing against is yourself.

Give up dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future. – Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  Don’t miss it.

Give up complaining. – Do something about it.

Give up holding grudges. – Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.

Give up waiting. – What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow.  Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action.

Give up lying. – In the long-run the truth always reveals itself.  Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.

Give up trying to avoid mistakes. – The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.

Give up saying, “I can’t.” – As Henry Ford put it, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”

Give up trying to be everything to everyone. – Making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  Start small.  Start now.

Give up thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

Give up setting small goals for yourself. – Many people set small goals because they’re afraid to fail.  Ironically, setting these small goals is what makes them fail.

Give up trying to do everything by yourself. – You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with.  If you work together, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone.

Give up buying things you don’t need. – Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.  Do not spend to impress others.  Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects. 

Give up blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can live your dream life depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

Give up making mountains out of molehills. – One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

Give up trying to live up to the expectations of others. – Work on it for real and exceed your own expectations.  Everything else will fall into place.

Give up the ‘easy street’ mentality. – There is too much emphasis on finding a ‘quick fix’ in today’s society.  For example taking diet pills to lose weight instead of exercising and eating well.  No amount of magic fairy dust replaces diligent, focused, hard work.

Give up making promises you can’t keep. – Don’t over-promise.  Over-deliver on everything you do.

Give up letting your thoughts and feelings bottle up inside. – People are not mind readers.  They will never know how you feel unless you tell them.

Give up beating around the bush. – Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Communicate effectively.

Give up avoiding change. – However good or bad a situation is now, it will change.  That’s the one thing you can count on.  So embrace change and realize that change happens for a reason.  It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.

Give up your sense of entitlement. – Nobody is entitled to anything in this world.  We are all equal.  We breathe the same air.  We get what we give.  We get what we earn.

Give up waiting until the last minute. – Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.

Give up being dramatic. – Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.

Give up being anti-athletic. – Get your body moving!  Simply take a long, relaxing walk or commit 30 minutes to an at-home exercise program like the P90X workout.

Give up junk food. – You are what you eat.

Give up eating as a means of entertainment. – Don’t eat when you’re bored.  Eat when you’re hungry.

Give up foolish habits that you know are foolish. – Don’t text and drive.  Don’t drink and drive.  Don’t smoke.  Etc.

Give up relationships with people who bring you down. – Saying “no” to right people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to right opportunities.  Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.

Give up being shy. – Network with people.  Meet new people.  Ask questions.  Introduce yourself.

Give up worrying about what others think of you. – Unless you’re trying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date, etc.), don’t let the opinions of others stand in your way.  What they think and say about you isn’t important.  What is important is how you feel about yourself.

Give up trying to control everything. – Life is an unpredictable phenomenon.  No matter how good or bad things seem right now, we can never be 100% certain what will happen next.  So do you best with what’s in front of you and leave the rest to the powers above you.

Give up doing the same thing over and over again. – In order to grow, you must expand your horizons and break free of your comfort zone.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.

Give up following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t find the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

Give up persistent multi-tasking. – Do one thing at a time and do it right.

Give up thinking others are luckier than you. – The harder you work, the luckier you will become.

Give up filling every waking moment with commitments and activities. – It’s okay to be alone.  It’s okay to do nothing sometimes.  Think.  Relax. Breathe.  Be.

Give up making emotional decisions. – Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence.  Slow down and think things through before you make any life-changing decisions.

Give up doing the wrong things just because you can get away with it. – Just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it.  Think bigger.  Keep the end in mind.  Do what you know in your heart is right.

Give up focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

Give up taking yourself so seriously. – Few others do anyway.  So enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can.

Give up spending your life working in a career field you’re not passionate about. – Life is too short for such nonsense.  The right career choice is based on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing.  So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop.  You’re on to something big.  Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.

Give up thinking about the things you don’t have. – Appreciate everything you do have.  Many people aren’t so lucky.

Give up doubting others. – People who are determined do remarkable things.  Remember, the one who says it can’t be done should never interrupt the one doing it.

Give up fussing with every beauty product on the market. – Good looks attracts the eyes.  Personality attracts the heart.  Be proud to be you.  That’s when you’re beautiful.

Give up trying to fit in. – Don’t mold yourself into someone you’re not.  Be yourself.  Oftentimes, the only reason they want you to fit in is that once you do they can ignore you and go about their business.

Give up trying to be different for the sake of being different. – Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is conformity.  When people try too hard to be different, they usually end up being just like everyone else who is trying to be different.  Once again, be yourself.

Give up trying to avoid risk. – There’s no such thing as ‘risk free.’  Everything you do or don’t do has an inherent risk.

Give up putting your own needs on the back burner. – Yes, help others, but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

Goals are scary.