What would it be, what would it mean, for LaVonte to publicly rest his hand on HJ's thigh and call him "Baby, baby", "Baby,"
In what we've seen of the vampires, Camarilla vampires namely, physical or verbal expressions of affection is scarce. Affection is not the same as sexual or sensual desire which we have seen often. When Koschei was calling Zaeth his perfect boy, Virkus basically told him to stay nonchalant. Koschei was perplexed by Zaeth's care for his coterie.
It is very clear to us, and now Maya, how deeply LaVonte loves HJ. And I think we can say HJ loves LaVonte too. At Rediron Towers, there wasn't an expression of any kind of affection they have for each other. It was a typical working relationship with the face of HJ basically being LaVonte's boss.
The longer they've been in Purpee, the more affectionate HJ has been towards LaVonte in the presence of the rest of the coterie and beyond. I think this change has much to do with HJ learning about himself since the SSRIs and them being there, removed from the peering eyes of the Camarilla. LaVonte hasn't expressed his affections until this past episode when he calls HJ his best friend. And I think that has much to do with him separating from the institution of the Camarilla.
There is the theory that LaVonte has internalized homophobia but I am more inclined to think that his hesitation to express his affections has to do with his relationship with HJ specifically rather than his relationship with men generally.
To be affectionate towards someone is to tell the world that's a person you are vulnerable to and vulnerable because of. If the Camarilla knew LaVonte loved HJ the way he does, he may not have been embraced. For a vampire, HJ, to love a mortal, LaVonte, that deeply is a threat to The Masquerade. I think the Camarilla would have sooner killed him than let HJ turn a mortal he fell in love with. So they had to keep a distance. LaVonte had to prove himself on his own merits with Worthy Industries. And as we can tell by how LaVonte has been treated, he continues to have to prove himself.
If his conversation with Maya is any indication, he is done with struggling towards that validation. So he calls him his best friend, and Maya doesn't need him to be named for them to know exactly who the fuck he's talking about.
To fall in love, you have to fall. And for these reasons and others I discussed in an earlier post, it's not easy for LaVonte to let himself fall. It is easier to touch and endearingly call to Sister Agnes Shaw not because he doesn't like or desire her, but because he doesn't love her in the deep, scary, and vulnerable ways he loves HJ Wingstreet.
