My @kikuwaters blog is just for my arts and stories. I post often about my work on main as well! I tend to cycle between which of my works I'm focusing on or making art for.
I will post about my day from time to time. #rambletxt is my tag if u wanna block it and not see my various thoughts clog ur feed when im feeling extra chatty
I am 27, He/Him, LGBT, and polyam. I've been in a committed relationship with two people for many years
I have autism and DID. While I may not post about these topics often, they obviously influence my daily life and activities.
My special interest is original characters!!! I love stories I love characters I love creating.
If you make original content of any kind I want to see and hear about it all the time I am not kidding!!! Tag me, DM me, anything and all. I do want to see what you make and are passionate about. With that in mind,
You can ask me to draw your oc!
If you have an oc you want me to draw, pls pls pls do not hesitate to reach out!!! My only rule is you're respectful of the time it takes for me to respond to things and work on them.
Please enjoy yourself today! You have worth and meaning and I'm glad you exist
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I don't know if this has been asked before but do you associate any particular songs with each of your OCs? If so what songs and why? Is it just based on vibes, lore, etc.
I took this ask and ran as far as I possibly could with it so this post is going to be very long… but basically I chose a song and then drew the oc into the album/EP/single cover because I’m insane. I spent way too long on these so some of them r kinda sloppily done but oh well not everything can be a masterpiece…yapping and artwork below
TW: suicide mention, depictions of blood
OKAY so I have a whole playlist for Hibiki and it’s got a bunch of different stuff but I chose Danchi Thesis bc 1) Shinsei Kamattechan is a vibe 2) depression covered in sparkles… but more specially I think the the song Shinitai Himawari has strong Hibiki vibes not only musically, but also just the overall feeling of disappointment and etc. Would highly recommend checking out the music video for this song (viewer discretion advised for flashing lights) alsooooo one more thing which is Saihate Field is also a banger song that gives me Hibiki vibes but I have a hard time finding lyrics so that's why I didn't choose that one specifically...
I've always sort of associated Gwen Stefani's music with Eloise just because it has that major girly pop vibe. I could totally see her and Sun jamming out during a karaoke session. I don't listen to a lot of bubblegum pop/adjacent genres which means I don't really associate a lot of music with Eloise but I can confidently tell you that would be her shit.
not the biggest fan of this drawing but we live… anyways there is no specific song I associate with Raymond but I do associate him with Tyler, The Creator because I think it would be music he enjoys to listen to. It’s got that upbeat energy but also very raw.
Is that Shinsei Kamattechan again??? Yes it is because I’m a fiend :D but not so fun fact, Sun was literally created because of a Shinsei Kamattechan song. The song is るるちゃんの自殺配信 and it’s a reference to a real event that happened of a girl live streaming her death. I just remember this song really hit me when I heard it and learned more about it. I still sometimes cry when I listen to this song, especially the live performances of it. And oftentimes when I feel strong emotions about something it drives me to create things, and that’s how I decided to make Sun. It’s not the exact same but she’s definitely tied to the overall issue of suicide rates in countries like South Korea (etc) being extremely high due to pressure of being perfect/social stigma against mental illness.
the EP Locket by Crumb is very chill in a way that reminds me of Yrjö. Also if you throw me a song called “plant” that is musically gorgeous and full of vibes I will associate it with Yrjö sorry not sorry.
Florence is out here with the ethereal goddess music that Jaya absolutely brings to the table. I think I mainly associate How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful (the song) with Jaya because of the presence of the word “blue” but also the ending starting at “So much time on the other side” ending with “if this one wasn’t enough” just because of the feels with death and stuffs…feels like you’re reaching out when the world looks dull and realizing it’s gorgeous (I’m writing this at 11pm I’m so good at words rn)
femtanyl and taro go hand and hand...this song is very Taro just because 1) trans 2) manipulation 3) vibes. I can't really explain it more than that.
Also an album I hadn't listened to entirely before starting but oh my god I LOVED it. Also this is my second favorite artwork I made for this ask (it took me forever). Anyway, some artists/songs I've chosen for people based on actual music/lyric components but some based on what I think they would listen to, and this is definitely a case of the latter. She would love Kali Uchis 100%
Now time for my favorite artwork I made for this ask!!!!! Looking at this makes me smile...anyways I chose the song Fool by Caravan Palace because...well...lyrics..."Even I don't understand the man I love/ I tried my best, my very best/Out of all the good I do/out of all I do" if you know you know.
Ego by Elita is the most Jökull song ever because musically it just feels very angry, as if there is more to the outside. Meanwhile, the lyrics are just I'm hot you're dumb lalala (FUCK MY LIFE FUCK MY LIFE FUCK MY LIFE) and that is what Jökull brings to the table.
Big ol ref of my goofy dnd character to finish up the last bit of artfight prep I had to do
they aren’t actually a barbarian yet, but the next level up I get is being dropped directly into barbarian because, yes, his strength is high enough, he has a +2
His name is Astrumadeus, and he's going to be an old school warrior. Like a soldier from before the civil war that destroyed cybertron, a remnant from the forces that fought off the quintessons
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Anxious as hell but bc tumblr is not very um.. Engaging as a social situation anymore, my life coach wants me to go back to using Instagram.
Obviously, I will continue using Tumblr still but I'm nervous about using Insta again
A lot of it is very complex and strange to me and very frightening, but it may give me the opportunity I'm looking for which is community (something, sadly, I haven't been able to find much of on Tumblr despite the fact it used to be here 😞)
Rumination is probably the most common type of OCD compulsion, but I rarely see anyone talking about it. I've talked to multiple people diagnosed with OCD who didn't even recognize it as a compulsion.
Basically, if you have OCD you have terrible intrusive thoughts. They can be about anything, but common themes are fear of being a bad person, fear of hurting someone, fear of contamination. etc.
Rumination is when you get stuck in a spiral. Rumination is when you spend hours catastrophizing, overthinking, analyzing, telling yourself it's going to be okay.
I'll say it again:
Rumination is a compulsion.
Rumination is a compulsion, and that means you have to stop doing it.
I did ERP (exposure response prevention) for my OCD with a therapist! For 9 months! And it did help, but the idea didn't really click until I found this website a couple years later.
And Oh My God. It made things make so much more sense, and I was able to pull myself out of an episode even though I wasn't in therapy or on meds at the time.
Genuinely if you have OCD, or even if you suspect you have OCD, I'm begging you to read some of these articles.
Like this was genuinely life changing for me.
Here are some of the ones that were most helpful to me:
I did some sketches yesterday at least! Working out the shapes and body language for Grit and Slips. These are both very important people from Teryx past.
Grit worked as an enforcer for Audrix. He was violent and cruel, and lived to torture others. His violent and bloody nature was very frightening for young Teryx, and the man was often used as a threat to keep him in line
The other lizard, Slips, is his cousin actually. They both work for Audrix but in vastly different positions. Slips is more like Audrixs.. personal assistant/butler/favorite lackey. He handled a lot of paperwork, phone calls, emails, desk work in general. But he also brought Audrix his coffee, went to the store for him, and played babysitter for Teryx when told to do so.
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Are all ur OCs LGBT or do you have any straight OCs?
Most of my OCs are LGBT! And I'm assuming by 'straight' you mean cishet characters, bc I do have several straight trans ocs who are still very much LGBT haha.
But yes, I do have cishet OCs! Several in fact, across my many stories.
For example, in Pretty Boys Dog, one of my favorite cishet couples is Guido Martinelli and his wife Ales. They have lots of kids and run a bakery together. [Also, Guidos father, "The Boss" Martinelli was a renowned heterosexual man lmao]
Another strong contender for cishets is in my circus story, Brent Varnham, the youngest of the Varnham brothers. Four brothers and he's the only straight one.. He's a sweetheart though and ends up with Heiwa
In my story Ten Levels, King Lucius was also strictly cishet. Something that was a bit of a running joke with his best friend, Zaphiel, who was very gay and always like "if you ever change your mind-". Lucius was 100% only interest in women though and was deeply in love with his wife, the first queen of Hell, Arianni
In my story "Paul Jones", one of the main characters, Apollo, is cishet. This is super relevant when he tries going out with Rudy and it becomes clear that Rudy is in fact. Not actually a girl. And Apollo totally supports him but also very much really wants to date girls :') So they become just friends, which was more comfortable for both of them in the end actually.
I have more too but y'know, I have so many characters listing them all would be crazy lmao
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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You actually cannot skip to being good at a creative endeavour that you haven't put much practice into. You cannot trick your way out of the 'knows that your work is not what you want it to be but don't know how to improve it' stage by planning or reading or talking about it really really hard. At some point you just have to craft through it until your brain finds it's own unique way back to the 'everything I make slaps' stage and be prepared to start the cycle all over again. You just have to make that project you're excited about slightly less good than you want it to be. (Says this standing in a pool of blood and covered in blood and also coughing up a little blood)
