Run run for your life

+ kim jungsu

our guy here can get pretty shy and often worries that he may not always be doing it right

but he doesn’t know that it’s exactly what he’s doing, someone please give him an award for the best kisser of the year

he tries to hide it by acting calm

and tbh it helps because he often really does end up feeling calm

so most of the times they’re unhurried and soft

or maybe more at peace because good lord, he just loves kissing you so much

makes up for the bashfulness by whispering the sweetest compliments JESUS christ

the wild thing about this is that no matter how it’s done - short, slowly, quickly, long, you get the drill - he always gives you the feeling that each kiss means a lot to him hHH

despite the times he might get shy about it i think he won’t mind giving you the occasional pecks even when people are around

cups your cheek

but good god he’s so in love with you so there are times he just can’t help but really going for it and might hold the side of your neck or your hips

sigh

+ kwak jiseok [gaon]

LOL okay so honestly i’m pretty sure gaon is the guy who has googled ‘how to kiss someone’ in the past

maybe once or twice even during your relationship

but the thing is

somehow he ACTUALLY learns from the bullshit he finds

but that doesn’t mean his kisses aren’t genuine and from his heart :(

no matter how he kisses you, they’re always comforting

even playful and teasing ones

pulls away smiling like you have the damn universe in your eyes

when there are people around, he usually opts for kissing your cheek, corner of your eye, temple or forehead

but whether you’re alone or not, if you’re tired or feeling down for whatever reason he’ll kiss your lips

and. hhh. when you part he wraps an arm around your shoulders to hold you closer

pecks the top of your head if you lean into the crook of his neck

atp this far into your relationship he knows your kisses like the back of his hands so sometimes, SOMETIMES, he’ll pull a gunil and kiss you deeper when he knows you’re up for it

still soft and loving about it

but he’s so into it that he occasionally lightly bites your bottom lip and no you cannot convince me otherwise

+ oh seungmin [o.de]

seungmin is an absolute mess

someone save him

he’s constantly swerving between wanting to make each kiss meaningful and wanting to kiss you all the time

to make it worse he miiiight feel too awkward or shy to figure out what he wants depending on location, time, situation and mood ahh

to the point where it’s actually obvious that he’s nervous

so just softly pecks you when you’re not alone

but he still loves doing it :(

and when he does he always manages making you not wanting to stop

because - and you don’t know if he’s aware of it or not - he just makes you feel SO loved

cue why you sometimes end up kissing for who knows how long

it’s just. so soft. you like to imagine someone has sprinkled fairy dust on his lips because they always make you happy and giddy

but he’s smiling after EACH TIME because he’s also happy and giddy

please just break my damn skull already i’m about to explode because Soft why am i doing this to myself

now let’s be real after a while our guy here gets almost too comfortable

it’s not that he’s particularly confident about it, it’s just that when he notices you don’t want to stop anytime soon he understands he’s doing it right and keeps doing it

at times like this he parts and looks down at your lips and then your eyes

leans back in if you’re continuing or giggles and kisses your nose if you’re leaving it there

has his arms around your waist

or is comfortingly rubbing your own arms

or hands on your hips but VERY humbly hhh

in the end he’s kissing you all the time and somehow still manages making each one meaningful

GOOD LORD SEND HELP I CANT DO THIS im never writing for him again

+ han hyeongjun [junhan]

so like. i know there’s this image of junhan being very shy and introverted, wbk that but we’ve also seen him get very proactive? enthusiastic?? yknow what i mean

so i’m a firm believer that the less people are around, the bolder he’ll get

not that he’s going to royally devour your mouth but you’ll catch him initiate kisses a lot more when you’re alone compared to when you’re not

if it’s crowded/in public, he barely does it; might kiss your cheek but only on good days

when the other members are around, it’s mostly brief pecks, perhaps just a tad longer-lasting ones when they’re not looking until they start teasing him

when you’re alone? :”) brb gonna cry

doesn’t lean in too fast or too slow

and he’s very gentle when kissing you :(

still kind of short

if they’re the type that last a bit longer he’s always closing his eyes

sometimes he pulls away for just a second before giving you another kiss :(

holds one or both of your hands while doing so or plays with your fingers

i don’t think he’s the kind who feels the need to kiss you every second of the day

but when you do he really wants to do it because HHH you make him so happy and so do your kisses because it reminds him that you actually love him

so he tries, and sometimes too hard, to learn and figure out how YOU like them the best

because he’s hoping he can return that feeling

either way when you eventually part, our guy is a shy smiling mess oh my god

might hide into the crook of your neck or just look away

sobbing while writing this

+ lee jooyeon

JOOYEON IS EXHAUSTING

enthusiastic doesn’t begin to explain his shenanigans

he’s like a kid on christmas

doesn’t care if people see he’s still going to kiss you

only if you’re okay with it though and if it’s in a situation where he’s sure it doesn’t bother others, respectful right

smiles against your lips 98% of the time

giggles every now and then afterwards

bestie is just so in love with you and this is simply one of his ways of showing it

pretty soon into your relationship he gets confident lowkey cocky with his confident

convinced he knows what he’s doing and tbh he does

he’s either giving you sweet and innocent kisses or he’s somewhat intense, yknow the type to move his lips against yours

the pace of it tbh depends on the situation

surprise kisses. a lot of them

now the exhausting part about this is that when he starts he doesn’t stop

it could be the end of the world and he won’t stop

his hands are a russian roulette

they can be on your hips, on your back with his arms wrapped around your waist, holding your cheeks or jaw or running through your hair

but don’t go and think he’s The kisser of the kissers BECAUSE HERE'S THE CATCH

he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing if you’re the one who kisses him first

gets so shy

so damn shy

tomato-red kind of shy

moral of the story

the strip of dispersed colors as light passes through a glass of water. touching a sweater only to find out it's a lot softer than it looks. the excitement while waiting for a new game to finish loading the first time it's played. the silly safety from simply curling up under a thick blanket while it's storming outside. youtube compilations of cute kittens that aren't from 2008 and actually are cute. the soothing shadow of a tree on a hot summer day, the four leaf clovers surrounding it, cheerful laughing from kids on a nearby playground, singing of birds, the ice cream in your hand, the way you shrug when your company points out it's begun to melt because you're just feeling so happy and at ease that you couldn't care less.

gunil is all that, yet so much more; so much bigger, greater and so full of feelings you never even dared to imagine you'd one day share with someone.

he had entered your gray life and stained it in colors brighter than those scattering from the glass of water; he'd shown you love in the purest sense of the word; given you a comfort that can't be found anywhere else on the planet; showered you in a warmth you oh so desperately wish you could store somewhere and keep until end of time.

"gunil…"

he is all that and more than you could ever ask for.

“we’re not flirting,” you scoff back at him, only to be given an unimpressed look.

“oh, really? first of all, he always points out that your coffee is hot.” “he’s just being nice!” “yeah, only to you; second of all, you look at him like he's some prince straight out of disney.” “gunil is handsome, you’ve said it yourself! doesn’t mean I’m into him.” “see, you even know his name - third of all, look at that and tell me he doesn’t have a thing for you.”

seungmin nods at your drink and this time, you stay silent. your gaze follows his, to the mug or, perhaps to be more specific, down to the sticky note underneath it. from the other side, you hear him laugh, “what’s wrong? not gonna read today’s cheesy message from mister charming?”

“oh, shut up,” you mutter, yet unable to hold back the smallest of a smile. even this time, you can’t bring yourself to argue back.

the notes attached to your orders have been different each time; back when the air was still hot and humid, his messages would ask you to stay hydrated; as the weeks passed, reminders to stay warm became more frequent; most common are the notes wishing you a good day and every now and then, your order would come with some stupid pick-up line.

all in all, there’s always something and as per usual, they never miss to fill you with curiosity and some sprinkles of glee to brighten your day. thus, you carefully tug the piece of paper off the mug and as you read the message coming with it, your attempt to bite back another smile is flat out miserable. resting his chin into the palm of his hand, a smirk finds seungmin’s lips.

you briefly glance up towards the counter; behind it stands gunil, wiping a mug clean but curiously looking back at you with a smile, playfully winking at you when your own grows wider.

“he asked you out, didn’t he?”

chewing down your bottom lip, you turn back to the note held between your fingers, face turning warmer the more you read the words written on it, accompanied with a set of numbers.

to be fair, the excuses aren’t always dumb. for example, there was that one time where you complained about an upcoming test you were sure you’d fail and jungsu hadn’t hesitated a second before offering to help you study. there was also that day you complimented his musical talents, making him ask if you wanted to tag along to his band practice after class

there’s today too, when he earlier this morning suggested going on a picnic “because the weather is nice.” it is, but it’s definitely not the reason he’d asked you out in the first place.

“you will not guess what happened after that!”

it’s still only spring but you’ve taken shelter under the full crown of a tree, its shadow cool against your skin. jungsu sits leaning against it and frankly, the trunk is a bit sharp on his back but he knows that if he starts to shifts, you’ll most likely move away from where you’re resting your head on his lap. thus, he decides to not think about it, preferring to hear you happily ramble on and on.

he’s not exactly sure how it had come to it but he couldn’t help but think how natural it looked when you casually laid down to rest on him, fingers reaching up to playfully fiddle with the strings of his hoodie - even though it had, undeniably, made his heart skip, he didn’t mind the slightest.

you’ve stayed like that for a while now. the snacks you’ve brought along are forgotten aside from the occasional times jungsu gives you strawberries when you ask for the bowl out of reach, every now and then even daring to tuck the red fruit between your lips on his own; after each one, he lets his hand return to your hair, gently carding it through the strands and despite you already having his full attention, he’s also busy wishing it could be a regular, nearly daily scenario.

“yeah?” jungsu chuckles, “what happened?”

you proceed with the tale. somewhere in the middle of it, you ask for the strawberries and once again, he opts for giving you one himself; his fingertip accidentally brushes your lips and even if it’s brief, he thinks about how soft they seem, softer than they look. soft and pretty, yet it’s the intrusive thought of what they must feel like that has his mind so intoxicated, so filled with the urge to know what they must feel like.

“it was crazy,” you say, sighing as the story comes to an end that he didn’t even hear.

jungsu slowly nods, rather absentmindedly; even though he, somewhere, knows better, his state of pure dreamland simply gets the best of him and before he can’t process it himself, he asks, “can I also tell you something crazy?”

you look up at him, partly to show him you’re listening, partly wondering what made his hand stop moving. nonetheless, you smile, “sure, tell me.”

“I love you,” jungsu says, more bluntly than his conscious self ever would. “it probably sounds insane and maybe you don’t even want to hear something like this but if I don’t say it now I don’t think I ever will and I-”

upon noticing how your eyes have widened, his own close, as if he’s been brought back to his senses; what if you reject him? reject his feelings, leave his heart poor and broken, leave him panicking because what in the fresh hell is he supposed to do while you’re still lying with your head on his lap after confessing his undying love for you? tell you he’s just joking while blushing like mad? push you away? ask you if you want another strawberry? of course not.

so, jungsu does what he thinks any sane person would do and makes it worse for himself,

“I just really love you.”

you don’t answer. you sit up and immediately, he’s starting to consider in all seriousness saying it’s just a joke. he can't. most ideally, he wants to sink down below the earth and become one with the roots of the tree behind him. he can’t do that either.

he can’t. he can't because you suddenly sit up faster than he can process and next thing he knows, your lips are on his.

jungsu doesn’t have to wonder what they must feel like anymore. they’re softer than he could imagine, locked with his own as if they’re just meant to be there and maybe he does sound crazy after all but right there and then, they feel like home. you feel like home, you, your arms around his neck, chest flush against his.

“listen, I… really don’t know about this.”

as you and gaon make your way out of campus, you start regretting ever giving in to his stubbornness.

“oh, come on, don’t be such a party-pooper!”

you arch an eyebrow at him, only to receive a grin in return. “I mean, I barely feel like hanging out with those from my class and you expect me to get along with the other guys?”

“‘those from my class’? isn’t that a bit harsh?” gaon laughs.

shrugging, you answer, “well, it’s not like we’re close; we go to class and have lunch together, sometimes study in the library but that’s it. it’s not like I have much in common with them to begin with so I wouldn’t really…”

“... call them your friends?” “right, right.” “and that is exactly why you should get to know my friends.”

you groan, “dude, I already have you, jungsu and gunil, isn’t that enough?”

“you just want to go home and play games, don’t you?” “...” “admit it.” “I hate that you know me so well,” you sigh, “‘kay, sure, there’s that too but for real, you already know that I don’t fancy meeting new people.”

gaon comes to a stop in his tracks and turns to face you with a pleading smile on his lips. “please, y/n. do it for me? you’ve been to my dorm before so it’s not like you’ll feel uncomfortable there, or? they’re all good people too and if you still don’t like them after this, I’m not making you do it again - so just this time.”

you think about it for a moment. though, before you realize it, you’re letting out a sigh, “alright- but you owe me lunch for this!”

“not a fair deal, but fine,” he chuckles, his pleased reaction making you feel a bit less uninterested about the coming events. as you proceed the walk to his dorm, he starts to tell you some more about his friends: “so there’s jooyeon, I think you’ll like him!”

“that’s what everybody says but sure, how come?”

gaon explains, “mostly because he also likes to play games. he’s kinda loud sometimes but still really bright and kind so I don’t think you’ll have a problem getting along with him.”

“sounds cool - so, who else?”

“well, junhan is kinda shy? probably the most introverted among them but once you get to know him, you’ll see that he’s actually a lot nicer and eager than it seems.”

you nod, seemingly a tad more curious now. “that’s interesting - there’s one more, right? what about him?”

you watch your best friend blink a few times, looking like he’s trying to shape his thoughts while humming. “yeah, about seungmin. I don’t really know how to describe him to you. he’s not as shy as junhan and honestly, compared to him and jooyeon, he’s pretty… simple?” there’s a brief pause before gaon looks at you, smiling widely,

“I think you’ll like him though.”

every now and then, you look back at that day, the memory of the meeting more often than not ticking you off.

you ended up never liking him, at all, not the slightest. simple or not, shy or not, bright or not, you ended up never fancying anything about his personality. to make it worse, the longer you stayed at the dorm that day, the more his attitude towards you made it clear that the feeling was, to say the least, mutual.

flash forwards a few weeks later, and you still prefer to hang out with gaon and your other two friends. that said, you’ve still met up with the other guys more than just at a few occasions and with time, you’ve found yourself growing closer to them - kind of.

you’re good with junhan and jooyeon but up until now, whatever relationship you have with seungmin still hasn’t become any better. in fact, it may or may not have become worse and it’s safe to say that the only reason the two of you can be in each other’s company is purely because you’ve ended up with the same friends. what goes them, even they notice the change in atmosphere the very moment you stand feets away.

probably because neither of you ever try to hide it,

“why should I go shopping with y/n?”

from the other side of the dorm’s living room, you shoot seungmin a glare, only for his look of sheer disbelief to turn into one of reflecting annoyance.

“come on, just think about it,” jooyeon sighs. seated next to him in the sofa, you look at widened eyes, trying to process that he, out of everyone present, is trying to defend the idea gaon had proposed moments ago. “y/n doesn’t know what to wear for that date next week and you have the best fashion sense among us; just go and pick out some clothes together.”

“and why would I do that to myself?” you scoff.

“sweetie, your fashion sense isn’t that bad but - full offense - your closet won’t give you a jackpot on a date,” gaon says next to you, earning himself a bitter glare.

“that’s mean, I think y/n dresses just fine,” junhan comments from where he’s sitting next to seungmin, bashfully chuckling when you give him a smile.

jooyeon looks back and forth between you and seungmin and makes another try to convince you through a groan, “can you two just try to get along for once? you’re finding clothes, not going on a date.”

“I’m never going on a date with that loser,” both you and seungmin speak in sync, shortly after glaring at each other.

the youngest rubs his temples, “literally no one said you would.”

“how about this then?” gaon begins, proceeding after having everyone’s attention,

“we’re all going together.”

“gaon, where the fuck are you? get your ass back here!”

from the other side of the line, you hear gaon laugh, “it can’t be that bad.”

“I’ve been stuck with him for ten minutes and he’s already messed up my mood,” you hiss into the phone, “just because you nerds ditched us for that guitar sho- did you do that on purpose?”

“I, uh- gotta go, jooyeon is calling for me!” “gao- …”

you look at the screen of your phone, anything but happy to see your best friend has hung up on you.

“what were you hoping for? I already told you they left on our way here,” seungmin mutters once you join him by the door to the clothing store you’d decided to meet up at.

“you know damn well what I was hoping for.” while putting your phone down, you add, “this is ruining your day as much as it’s ruining mine so seriously, you don’t have to stay.”

with a look of something between annoyance and disbelief, seungmin argues, “I know I wasn’t forced all the way out here for nothing so just let me-”

“thank you but I don’t need your damn charity work.” “listen here, dipshit, I can’t stand you either but I don’t hate you enough to want to see you embarrass yourself on a date when I know I can do something to help so for one holy minute, stop complaining and let me do my job.”

you stay glaring at each other for a few moments but as you start thinking that maybe, just maybe, he has a point, it comes to your attention that people walking past are staring with way too much curiosity. thus, you let your shoulders slump in defeat and speak through a deep sigh,

“fine.”

seungmin, too, lets out a sigh, perhaps one of relief upon finally having you give in. nonetheless, he goes on, “go find a dressing room, I’ll be there in a bit.”

eyebrows furrowing, you give him a glance of suspicion, only to have him pinch the bridge of his nose, “just trust me.”

just like that, despite slightly hesitant, you nod and part ways.

before long, you find yourself in the stall the furthest away in the dressing room; your first decision is to send gaon a message, telling him he will pay for what’s going on, be it in this or a next life; letting your phone land on your bag on the floor, you begin to get rid of your clothes, one piece after another. much to your surprise, as soon as you’ve discarded the last one, a painfully familiar voice speaks from the other side of the door, “y/n?”

“that was fast,” you find yourself thinking but answer, “don’t even think of opening the door.”

you hear seungmin clicking his tongue before adding, “here, I’ll hang the clothes on the door so get changed already.”

you carefully pull down the soon-to-be outfit that he tosses over the door, only to feel skeptical as you scrutinize what it consists of. you contemplate on asking if he’s sure about this but fully aware that he’s more likely to just give you some sort of sarcastic response, you decide to not bother and instead try them on.

that said,

“uh, seungmin…” “are you done?”

clearing your throat, you hum and answer, “are you… sure you’re not trying to make me embarrass myself on the date?”

“honestly now, how much of an asshole do you-” seungmin interrupts himself just at the same time as he opens the door, the reflection of the mirror he’s met by over your shoulder having him rather shocked. “think… I am?"

noting his illegible expression through the reflection, you let out a hopeless sound of a mixed whine and a groan, hastily turning around to face him, “see! that’s what I’m saying, it doesn’t look good on me at all-”

you’re also interrupted, though by him quickly shaking his head and speaking, “what? no, it’s pretty on you, what are you talking about?”

“...” “...” “do you seriously mean that?”

seungmin blinks at you until it hits him what he had just said, the realization making him look away again and rubbing the back of his neck,

“uh- well- duh? I mean I did say I’d help, of course I’m going to find you something nice to wear.”

you’re pretty certain you’ve never knocked a door as hard as you do right there and then, three times; another four times when no one opens and you swear you’re about to flat out kick it broken when your patience runs thin, had it not been for someone finally opening.

“of course it’s you,” seungmin sighs, “you know you don’t have to tear our door do-”

you interrupt him, voice barely audible under the harsh rain outside, but the lack of enthusiasm is as clear as day, “where’s gaon?”

“what?”

eyes closing, you take a deep breath, “I said, where is gaon? he’s not answering his phone and I need to see him.”

“gaon? he’s out with jooyeon and junhan, why?”

rather than answering, you briefly groan into the palms of your hands in evident frustration and when they sink down to your sides, seungmin finally notices it; your skin is wet, not only from the rain but also from a few tears running down your cheeks, eyes red and puffy, bottom lip tucked between your teeth but still noticeably quivering, the most quiet of sniffles escaping you.

“w-what’s wrong?” seungmin mumbles, unsure of how he’s supposed to react. however, as he gives you a glance up and down, your attire reminds him of what day it is and the bad feeling of his growing guess being true fills him. opening the door wider, he crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the doorframe, voice going the slightest bit softer when he asks, “I know he didn’t make fun of your outfit at least, so what happened on the date?”

“he didn’t show up to the damn date.”

“what?”

with widened eyes, he stands confused because, no matter how much less excited he couldn't be to hear from you any and every day of the week, even he can’t help becoming baffled. “what do you mean, he didn’t show up?”

“he just didn’t show up, seungmin,” your voice trembles as you repeat. “I waited and waited but that bitch never came so I called him and he said he forgot and then he apologized but not because of that but because he apparently wasn’t interested in me anymore and- … yeah.”

when seungmin stays silent and only clenches his jaw, it hits you that it perhaps would’ve been a better idea to simply go away from there after knowing gaon wouldn’t be available. however, just as the rising embarrassment urges you to simply leave, he briefly looks up at the sky before nodding towards their dorm,

“it looks like the rain is stopping; come in.”

you’re not given the chance to question exactly what the hell you’re supposed to go in for. your best friend isn’t there after all, nor are the other two, leaving the single one guy you can’t handle alone at home, suddenly having him tell you to come in. nonetheless, you barely make it inside before he asks you to wait in the hallway and disappears somewhere further inside.

at this point, it’s far from the time you’re visiting their shared home but unlike previous occasions - when you haven’t been alone together so to speak - it feels a lot more strange to you, as if you shouldn’t really be here, or like you’re not used to it. to be fair, you’re not.

you’re also not used to seungmin returning to the hallway with a towel in his hands and tossing it to you. “here, dry up - what about your clothes?”

“u-uh,” a bit awkwardly, you unzip your jacket to check, relieved to see that they’re at least more dry than your hair after the weather you’d walked here through. “they’re good.”

he nods, once more not giving you the opportunity to question anything before disappearing. alone in the hallway again, you work on drying your hair. from a different room, you hear occasional shuffling, making you wonder what he could be up to; the longer you stand there thinking about it, the less aware you become of your quiet crying and sniffling gradually fading.

by the time seungmin comes back, they’ve stopped entirely. your eyes are still red and puffy, but equally filled with surprised as you give him a once over; rather than the sweats and sweater he had previously greeted you with, he’s wearing a beige houndstooth-patterned coat over a black hoodie, accompanied with a pair of black jeans, hair clearly more styled than it had been a few minutes ago, silver jewelry adornings his ears, fingers and neck.

seungmin looks just a bit too ready for staying at home. even more so when he finds himself a pair of shoes, making you further confused for each second, “what are you doing?”

“we’re going out.” “what?!”

after putting them on, he takes the towel you’d neatly folded and places it on a nearby drawer as he says, “I'm not giving you the comfort gaon would give you so I’m taking you out instead.”

frankly, you’re not sure if you’re supposed to feel happy or offended: “are you doing this because you pity me?”

seungmin emits a deep breath while opening the door, though turns around to face you. with the majority of your past interactions in mind, you expect another snarky reply. alas, the words he speaks slip past his lips in a soft voice matching the look in his eyes. “don’t beat him up for this but gaon told us how nervous you were about this, especially because you haven’t gone out with anyone before. you obviously took the time to get dressed up too and we literally went out to buy those clothes just for today.”

there’s a pause. seungmin picks out his phone from his coat’s pocket to check the time before putting it back again. “I like this just about as little as you do but I’m not about to go that far to help you get ready just to see you get stood up on your first date and cry over a guy.”

mouth wide open, you stare at him more shocked than you’ve been in a while, processing what he had just told you before feeling your face heat up, reaching up to rub your temples as if it’d soothe a headache. “I swear, I’m never letting gaon see daylight again.”

seungmin just lets out a laugh though, the kind you haven’t heard before, or at least not in a context including both of you. to your both surprise and confusion, the sound rings sweetly in your ears.

nevertheless, you’re brought out of your thoughts when he nods towards the outside where the sky now has cleared up, the sun shining as if there hadn’t just been one hell of a rainshower going on,

“I’m not holding your hand so let’s go before it gets late.”

despite aimlessly walking down the streets with little to no conversation filling the air, you wouldn’t really say it’s awkward. perhaps a bit stiff, and for sure not the most pleasant company, but you’ve still been around seungmin enough to not feel that one heavy sense of awkwardness.

“so?” he asks after a while, “what were the plans for the date?”

you think about it for a moment. “we were supposed to hit a coffee shop first.”

“which one?” “the one close to uni.”

you give seungmin a puzzled glance when he scoffs. “was that your idea?” you shake your head and he goes on, “thank god he stood you up.”

“hey, what’s that supposed to mean?!” “oh, please, who takes someone on a date anywhere close to where you study? to begin with, there are tons of shops better than that one.” “really, now? does mr brains here have any better ideas?”

without a second of hesitation, he points a finger towards the other side of the road, indicating that you’re heading towards an entirely different direction than the one leading to the original meeting spot - without much to say, you don’t bother protesting.

on the way to your destination, you’re led through a park. it’s decently large but with few people being excited enough to come around after the previous rain, some watching their cheerful children running around on a playground, some entertained by ducks swimming back and forth in a nearby lake.

“do you want to stay for a while?”

you quickly turn to seungmin, face growing warm upon being caught staring at the ducks, “what, no? we’re supposed to go to have coffee.”

“I know I said we should go before it’s too late but we still have plenty of time,” he says, “besides, you’re looking at the ducks like a hungry wolf.”

soon enough, you’re both leaning against the fence separating you from the lake a bit further away. you cross your arms alongside its rail and as you unconsciously rest your chin into the nest they shape, seungmin asks after giving you a brief glance, “do you often come here?”

you shake your head. “not anymore. I often came here to feed them when I was a kid though, you know like one of those things you used to do all the time but then grow out of?”

seungmin doesn’t answer. instead, he only stays there for another few seconds before suddenly leaving your side. curiously, you watch him walk up to a mother and her child, crouching down in front of the younger one with a smile, bringing up a conversation that you can’t make out properly. however, realization hits you after the child reaches into a paper bag, only to pull out pieces of bread and hand it to him.

patting the child’s head, seungmin seemingly thanks the two of them before heading back to you, your mouth dropping when he drops the crumbles in your hand. “did you just…?”

“just take it already,” he mutters and leans against the fence again. “they were kind enough to share it with us, don’t let it go to waste.”

“... thanks.”

you’re not sure how long you stay there, tossing one piece of bread after another; not so surprisingly, another blanket of silence falls over you but in the back of your mind, you can’t help but think how much of an oddly comforting one it is. you’ve both come to unconsciously stands closer than you usually do but unlike most times, no complaints or insults are shamelessly exchanged.

eventually, he takes the last piece from your hand and throws it in the direction of one of the ducks. in the meantime, you decide to break the silence, “can I ask you something?” he patiently hums while taking another one. “why are you doing all of this?”

“all of what?”

for the first time in a good moment, you turn around to face him. “you know what I’m talking about. it’s not like you and I are as close with the rest- I mean, we can barely be in the same room so why are you suddenly doing all of this for me?”

“don’t get me wrong,” seungmin says after a sigh and turns to face you as well. “I can’t stand you either. you’re annoying and rude and loud and it’s absolute chaos when you and gaon are together; the thing you do with your hands when you’re nervous is pretty dumb, I don’t get why jooyeon and junhan want to invite you over whenever we have movie nights and the thought of willingly going on a date with you makes me want to laugh.”

“wow, shit, alright satan, do you have anything else you want to tell me?”

he rolls his eyes but soon goes on, the way his voice softens catching you off guard, “but even I don’t want your first date to mess up so…”

you raise an eyebrow, “so…?”

rubbing the back of his neck and looking away, he mumbles, “so let me do what I can to make it at least a little better.”

as your mouth opens, you don’t have the slightest clue about what it is you want or are about to say. though, you wind up beat to it as the mother walks past you with her child, widely smiling, “you make such a cute couple; I hope everything goes well for you two.”

“a-ah, we’re n-”

your rather flustered denial is cut short as seungmin hurries to intertwine your fingers with his and bowing at her before leaving you alone, “thank you.”

“...” “...” “what was that for?” “do you think I have the heart to tell her we’re not a couple after I asked them for the bread because you like feeding ducks?” “... and you really had to hold my hand for that?” “if we’re going on a date, we should at least make it look like it.”

thus, you do, but not without seungmin giving your fingers a light squeeze before letting go.

the remaining walk to the coffee shop isn’t particularly long, just another corner away. admittedly, it does look more tempting and cozier than the one you’d previously waited in for longer than you care to remember. holding the door open for you, the pleasing scent of coffee beans and bakery makes you think that letting him take you here possibly wasn’t that much of a bad idea after all.

“take a seat, I’m just gonna go and order for us.” “wait, at least let me pay!”

seungmin gives you a blank look and you realize that if he hasn’t had any of your protests so far, he won’t have them anytime soon either. “alright…”

that said, you’re not as much in awe about it being his treat as you are when he, some minutes later, comes back with your orders - the drink he places in front of you is what you usually get for yourself. upon noticing you looking back and forth between him and the beverage, he explains, “isn’t this what you always ask gaon buy whenever he loses a bet and has to get us coffee?”

you blink at seungmin a few times. though, before you know it, you’re letting out an airy but evidently genuine laugh. “I can’t believe you remembered it; thank you.”

he can only stare at you in return, not sure how to respond to that. in the end, he shrugs, takes a sip from his drink and decides to change the topic, “what made you agree to going on a date with him anyway? it was the guy me and gaon share a class with, right? obviously it wasn’t the brightest idea.”

you huff and lean back in your seat. “he just seemed like a nice and fun guy. I mean, think about it, if those you hang out with aren’t your type of people, wouldn’t you also be excited to meet someone who seems more into talking with you?”

“yeah, but he broke up with his girlfriend literally two weeks ago, what were you expecting? a handsome prince on his pretty white horse?”

“wait, he what?” “don’t tell me you didn’t know?” “...”

in a manner of disbelief, seungmin rests his face into the palm of his hand. “no wonder you got dumped. in no universe does a guy, who asks you out a week after breaking up with his girlfriend, have much to offer.”

“okay, sure, whatever, but why would he say he’s not interested anymore?” “obviously, since you fell for prince charming so fast, he thought he could easily get something from you. then he got to know you and realized you’re not that interesting anymore.”

you squint your eyes at him, “are you calling me plain right now?”

seungmin scoffs and shakes a denying hand in the air, “no, no, no. I’m saying, it’s his problem… plain, my ass, you’re like, everywhere.”

“seungmin, coming from you, I really can’t tell if it’s a good or a bad thing.” “take a guess.”

you take a deep breath at his answer, at last taking it upon yourself to ask after releasing it, “why do you dislike me that much anyway?”

“isn’t that what I should be asking you?” he snorts, explaining when you furrow your eyebrows, “you’re the one who totally ignored me that day. you only hung out with jooyeon and even junhan, anyone would think you weren’t up for talking to me.”

“mind you, me and jooyeon clicked because we had stuff in common, the only reason I kept confronting junhan was because gaon told me he was a shy person! I wanted him to feel comfortable while I was there but you…”

when you pause, seungmin gives you a somewhat daring look as he props an elbow on the table, resting his chin into his palm. “I, what?”

“gaon… told me I’d like you but he said that you were kinda simple so I didn’t know what to expect and when you didn’t talk to me I thought you just didn’t want me around.”

“y/n, I didn’t talk to you because you were busy talking with everyone else!” “I- dude, are you telling me you’ve been acting like a stuck-up bitch this entire time just because you thought I didn’t want to talk that one day?” “hey, you ignored me even after that!” “yeah, since you kept getting saltier whenever I was with you guys!” “sorry? when we made a bet the week after you told gaon what coffee you wanted but when I lost it you suddenly didn’t want anything!” “out of courtesy! gaon always loses bets but then you lost it from nowhere and I didn’t want to make you waste money on me!” “that’s it?” “yeah- that and you started getting really rude.” “speak for yourself.”

you look at each other for a few seconds before groans escape both of you. “I can’t believe all of this happened just because of some miscommunications.”

“now, what?” you sigh. when seungmin casually suggests if you should just forget about what has happened, you scoff, “you called me annoying, rude and loud earlier and you want me to forget it? and everything else before that?”

“it’s not like you’ve been a saint either; if I can let that slide, so can you,” he retorts, “besides…”

seungmin becomes quiet for a while. your attention falls down to where his hand rests next to your own on the table, fingers drumming its surface in a drumming manner; you look back up again when you see him turn to stare out the window and when he answers, his voice comes out a bit muffled, “it’s not like you’re that intolerable.”

“what do you mean?”

under the dim lights hanging above you, seungmin prays to any and every god that you can’t make out the faint shade of red tinting his cheeks and tips of his ears. “I’ve seen how you are with the rest, y/n. you’re okay when you’re not so damn annoying and I never thought I’d say this but you’re actually- I guess kind of cute when you’re not so obnoxious… like today, even though you’ve complained a lot.”

the silence you respond with quickly makes seungmin get worried. however, as he gives you a side-glance, he catches a glimpse of your equally nervous expression. a bit awkwardly, you drink from your coffee and clear your throat before speaking with the mug in front of your mouth, looking at anything and anywhere but him.

“well, you’re not really that bad yourself.” “huh?”

you let out a stressed sigh. “I mean, you’ve also complained a lot and been rude sometimes but I know that you’re not a bad person. like, if you really were a douchebag you would’ve, I don’t know, shut the door on me instead of letting me in. you also gave me a towel, took me out just so that I wouldn’t have a miserable first date, stayed and let me feed the ducks even though it probably was super boring for you, bought me the coffee you remembered I like the most and- when I think about it, you’re not that bad.”

after the ramble you’re hardly proud of became lengthier than planned, you take another sip from your mug, put it down on the table and look at him - unexpectedly, you note the red on his face having grown a tad brighter.

“that’s gross, why the fuck are you blushing?” “shut up, I-I’m not used to you saying nice things.”

seungmin turns his face away to stare out through the window again, returning to muttering into his hand, “what should we do now then?”

you anxiously chew on the inside of your cheek but though slightly hesitant, you eventually answer, “we could just, y’know, continue the date, o-or whatever this is.”

eyes widening, you watch as his fingers stop dancing on the table, only to find their way to intertwine with your own.

“what are you doing?”

similar to before, you’re given another squeeze but this time, it’s a bit tighter, a bit longer. seungmin doesn’t make any attempts to look away from the window but the words he speaks slip gently past his lips,

it’s safe to say you’ve spent time with him and with him alone more than just a few times, without the company of your other friends. you also think it might just be safe to say that it’s not only two friends hanging out with each other.

nonetheless, you much rather pay attention to the moment itself, to the conversation and laughs you share - and the occasional times you catch his hand twitching in the corner of your eyes, fingers curling and uncurling in an evidently nervous manner.

it’s not hard to tell why and frankly, somewhere you feel rather cruel for not making it easier on him and taking the initiative yourself. however, it makes you dig your chin further down your scarf, hiding an amused smile behind its fuzzy material and you can’t help but want to see how long it will take.

you’ve explored the town in the winter cold for quite a while now so you’re not one to be blamed when a shiver runs through your body. it doesn’t go unnoticed by junhan and with hints of worry lacing his voice, he asks, “wanna find a coffee shop?”

partly embarrassed, partly thankful, you nod, “if that’s alright with you.”

junhan lets out a soft chuckle and returns the nod. “I don’t mind, it’s getting a bit colder after all.”

while spending the walk on trying to decide where to stop by, the two of you end up in an argument about which shop you could go for, seemingly not having the exact same preferences. it’s light-hearted though with laughs inevitably joining your bickering and in the end, you manage to come to a mutual decision anyway.

“you have to try their caramel la-”

your words are interrupted the moment you become too careless to see the patch of ice beneath your feet; a squeaky yelp of surprise escapes you instead and you barely have the time to brace yourself for the pain as the slippery ground hastily drags you down to it.

the impact of it doesn’t. there is, however, the impact of suddenly finding yourself chest to chest with junhan, a hold around your hand helping you back on steady feet.

you’re close, so close that the tips of your shoes almost touch his; so close that the white puffy cloud that comes with your deep sigh of relief mixes with his own; so close that the nearly non-existent space parting you has your faces burning within seconds.

nearby giggles from people staring at you bring you out of the trance and you quickly take a few steps back. “thanks for the catch,” you chuckle, “we should…”

“y-yeah…” junhan stutters in return and turns to face the street ahead of you again.

you can’t lie. the moment his grip begins to loosen, a wave of disappointment washes over you.

the feeling is brief though because, much to your surprise, his hand only slides down enough for his fingers to be able to find your own. they curl between the gaps, his fingertips gentle against your skin as they lightly press into the back of your hand. you blink down at them, observing how oddly well it looks connected to his and admittedly, the sight causes the fluttering feeling of butterflies in your stomach.

“we should…” junhan begins. quickly looking up at him again, your eyes lock with his, but only briefly before his own divert from them. strands of his hair are slightly hanging down but they don’t do much to hide the red tinting the tips of his ears as he goes on, “we should go before it gets too cold.”

despite the nod you respond with, it’s hardly much of a concern. as cold as the air may be, you’re not the slightest bit bothered by it. the warmth from the hand squeezing yours spreads to the rest of your body and at this point, it feels like every butterfly in the world has migrated to your stomach.