What Day Is It?

The TBC clinic was actually possibly one of the most validating safe feeling sex clinics I’ve ever been to, warm waiting room, the nurse (was insane looked 25 was 41 and recommended me to do social work and his perfume brand) was unbelievably un judgemental, had the most supportive reactions to me explaining why I’m not on birth control, did not judge me in a shamming way about contraception and condoms, told me to just keep coming back, was the most supportive environment and did not feel judged one bit, clinics and most Docs should watch this man n clinic cause THAT WAS POSITIVE BEDSIDE MANNER!!!! Docs seem to forget that how u engage n empathise with your patients affects their experience and safe environment, when u react negatively or studious it makes u feel crap, he was even giving me extra info n I shit u not an entire bag of condoms!! U can legit go to the clinic to pick up free bags of them, THAT IS FCKING HEALTH CARE, to have a MAN respond in such n understanding way about my chronic illness goes to show that education, understanding and empathy goes a long way unlike most docs who act like robot turds. 100000000/10

I am a loony lady gd grief

There are some days you stare at yourself in the mirror and u genuinely see a stranger, you can recognise your nose your eyes the way the freckles dance across ur face but the person staring back feels so foreign like you’ve been constructed from clay. It’s almost deliriously strange the feeling, like when you go loopy from not enough water or food, you get that twinkle feeling in your stomach, you feel so giggly and erratic and not yourself and talking to someone is bewildering it’s like there is a jelly screen between, you know they are real but there is a faintness of delusion surrounding your conversation, I feel like dissociation can be explained if you’ve ever taken MDMA they r incredibly similar feelings to me.

The night was chilly, fire roaring smoke mixing with half smoked cigarettes and laughter, legs crossed on Whicker stools n wooden benches. In the hum of warm light bodies moved through music, chatter drifting from the kitchen through each room, hours passing just four remain a bed jumbled with pillows and many blankets elegant young cat pouncing round, giggling ladies sharing stories, sad and ridiculous a show of womanhood sleeping soundly peacefully in a room of peace.

Just had eggs bacon n hot sauce, hungover like an 18 wheeler, texted ppl I’ve no business doing but danced my wee bum till 3am,literally am that babe x.

I think sometimes being a dumb mole is important in life, case n point I rolled over this morning almost screamed “A MAN” like I didn’t invite him over last night.

Born to throw a fcking flat white in customers damn faces forced to give them “have a beautiful day” I hope u stub your damn toe how dare u ask me to make it how you want it, like it’s my job or something (it is I’m a bitter bitch)

Thinking how one of my precious girlies said she “missed me so much a hug from would cure her pain” makes me realise no one romantically can be loved by me or indeed love me the way my girls love me, the need for someone to love me when the girlies have seen every part of me every struggle “bad” part of me and still love me wholy and with such beauty grace and kindness, maybe his love is not as important as I thought just having them is all I need. 

See if I couldn’t get pregnant I’d never ever go on contraception, I am fully aware n grateful for it in terms of freeing woman allowing opportunities it’s good and useful and I get that lots of ppl hate having periods, but it is so important to feel ur period, “cleanse”urself, it connects u to earth, it’s natural and connective to other woman, the pain is ancestral, shared by the woman of our past the strongest ppl in our generations the ones who created our family trees, periods connect you to the moon and the water, you feel peace in the water when your on your period it moves with your pains and aches almost running circles on your back releasing tension, periods cleanse you of the toxins in your body and soul, allow healing and release, if the world wasn’t so patriarchal and commercialised we would understand periods for their importance and sacredness as in ancient times where they where respected and sacred misunderstood reasonings for many cultures separating woman when they bleed not for misogynistic reasonings but because those cultures understood that woman need to be in feminine energy when bleeding need to hold that connectivity with ppl who share those experiences, if the world wasn’t so in fear of women’s periods we would actually be able to know our bodies better.

WHY ISNT THERE A FCKING THING THAT JUST STOPS YOU THINKING FOR FIVE SECONDS N GIVES U PEACE.

I had the most beautiful being a girl experience today, drowning under the weight of my shopping being strong ass gym girl no basket, an adorable little girl came up to me, taking off my headphones to hear her, she was asking if I needed any help carrying my things, she was about 6-7yrs old almost made me cry, the sweetest human, asking me a complete stranger if I was ok.

It is so sad to me that men cannot understand friendships to there fullest beauty, the way I love my girlfriends is cosmic, it’s insane the way I love them, I could be at my wedding and one of them needs me and I’ll run to them, the fierceness of women’s friendship is art and pain love and light, genuine true love is what I have for my girlies

See that smile I get when I say something stupid, goodness me melts me

You’ll have many loves in your life time plutonic and romantic it doesn’t mean that the ones you have now you force yourself to get over quickly, because your always going to have a bit of them with you, you shared parts of your soul and love with that person, there is no true time line to “get over” someone because you can’t your always going to remember them, and each person is going to teach you something beautiful or heartbreaking.

Being treated like shit by men your whole life gives you such perspective that the vast majority don’t like women, we are simply there as disposable sexual conquests……it’s rare to meet a man that actually likes women.

Genuinely a waste of breath to show men any interest, they always looking for their “dream girl” bitch you are barley passing a hygiene test and u have expectations give me a break