Just a brief update in case anyone is still on this forsaken wasteland, I'm still massively pretty but now also competing in the UCI world cup and doing pretty well with that 😍 I've been to Canada, Japan, and France in the past few months and basically my life is way cooler than my wildest dreams

also they really want me to start racing and that was just about all the convincing I need, so after the 2020 olympics no matter how that goes I’m getting a racecar

I guess that's how it goes when ya don't particularly like sex

But yes ooof of course as I'm trying to come to terms with that while my brain is super active aka out of control my parents start being manipulative fucks to me and it's like you assholes, the reason I grew up to have no self worth and struggle with suicidal thoughts when I can't stick up for myself is because I never got to have a childhood where I wasn't constantly having to justify my existence. Stop doing it now while I'm trying to heal. I really shouldn't be here but I don't know where else to go long term. Maybe a psych ward.