Welcomeeeez`

guy interrogating me: What’s the passcode?

guy interrogating me: who do you work for?!

me, after being extracted: bad news guys, I totally blew Dave’s cover.

Enemy 1: So, how did the interrogation go?

me: So I managed to listen in on them for an hour through the air ducts

are you taken?

“and this is when, through the magic of the internet, i met phil. and obviously, we were more than friends, but it was more than just romantic. this is someone that genuinely liked me. i trusted them, and for the first time since i was a tiny child, i actually felt safe. and the relationship we formed at that point was something i needed in my life. we are real best friends, companions through life. like, actual soulmates. it’s so lucky to just find someone you can be that compatible with. and especially to anyone that has experienced the kind of self hatred that i have dealt with, one person accepting you can make all the difference.”