Bigtopbinary (HAS MOVED!)

Gabe: alright kid whatdya wanna eat? Cereal, pancakes, toast. We got peanut butter-

Mccree: what’s that?

Gabe: you... you’ve never had peanut butter?

Mccree: no, is it good?

Gabe: Yeah I think so, here try it. *hands him some toast with peanut butter on it*

Mccree: *takes a bite* hm it’s good!.... is it supposed to make my tongue itchy?

Gabe: ...

*a few moments later*

Mccree: *sitting in medbay, face puffed up like a balloon as Ana gives him an epipen*

Ana: first day and already you’ve almost killed him.

Gabe: *sighs with guilt and exasperation* We’re off to a thrilling start.

Hope you guys like it haha !

Hanzo: *looks at his to see an image of a happy bear sitting upright in a pile of apples* This energy is... familiar *looks over at McCree*

McCree: *sitting happily in a recliner with a pack of Oreos*

Genji: Oh god he’s going to kill him! Anija do something!!!

Hanzo: *unable to get a shot without hitting Mccree as well* Um! Um! Um...Wait! I got an idea! AKANDEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Doomfist: *looks in his direction*

Hanzo: *rips off his shirt*

Doomfist: Oh...*unable to look away, completely mesmerised, drops mccree*

Mccree: *looking like he hasn’t slept in a week* oh yeah, don’t have to worry about intruders. I need to worry about their water bowls being too close to their food bowls.

Soldier 76: I’m sorry what?

Mccree: you heard what I said.

*that night*

*Hanzo is laying in bed in his and Jesse's room, smoking a blunt that Jamison provided him*

Jesse: *walks in* Han I- what the fuck?! Did a skunk die in here!?

Hanzo: Nnnnnnnope... Just breathing in TCH~

Jesse: Goddamn darlin' it smells awful! How do you even smoke that shit?

Hanzo: You wanna try?

Jesse: ...

-

*half an hour later, Jesse is sitting on the floor completely stoned while Hanzo plays with his hair*

Hanzo: your hair is fluffy like a cloud...

Jesse: Holy shit... If our bodies are made mostly of water, does that mean we are a cloud? And when we cry or sweat we're just making rain?...

It’s blow coat season!

It’s blow coat season!

Hanzo: McCree are you alright?

Jesse: *wipes away his tears* yeah, just listening to a song that reminds me of my life...

Hanzo: *glances at Jesse's Ipod and sees "Brittle Bones Nicky" by Rare Americans playing* may I hear it?

Jesse: *nods and hands Hanzo an earbud*

Hanzo: *listens to the lyrics* did this band write your life?...

Jesse: It's literally my life! *cries*