I saw THIS post by @argillaforma and then this popped into my head and well I had to write it out and share it.
Ilya is standing right there and there's literally no reason that Shane can't ask him. They're boyfriend. They've said I love you to each other. More than once!
But that's just words. Things someone says. That's easy to do. Shane's been trained to say words to people and cameras and himself in the mirror when he's practicing. Although saying I love you to Ilya is a whole lot easier and more real than anything else he says to the rest of the world. He actually, truly, really means it when he says those three words.
But walking up to Ilya and kissing him? Just for no reason? When they weren't even in the same room?
That feels impossible.
And exactly why Shane is standing there, probably looking like an idiot, as Ilya pours some sweet flavoured creamer into his coffee. He hasn't noticed Shane, yet, standing there, internally at war with himself on wanting to kiss his boyfriend but being unable to.
Because they're fully dressed. They're about to sit down and go over some paperwork for the Irina Foundation. They aren't about to tear each other's clothes off for sex! So obviously Shane can't kiss Ilya.
Except, he thinks he can? Maybe?
Shane doesn't know. He doesn't know what is and isn't allowed. Ilya is his boyfriend. And Ilya kisses him all the time. But it wasn't always like that. There was the before.
Kissing meant pulling clothes off, hands over naked skin, moans and whimpers, explosions of pleasure and arousal.
Kissing meant sex.
They aren't going to have sex.
(Not that Shane is against sex - he is always for having sex with Ilya. It's kind of shocking how much Shane is always for having sex when before it used to never be a thought in his mind.)
But Shane wants to kiss his boyfriend. He just doesn't know how to ask for it. Because asking is weird, isn't it? Couples kiss, and they're a couple, and they love each other, and they aren't going to have sex but Shane wants to kiss Ilya.
He's been standing there for too long now, thumbs hooked into the pockets of his shorts, because Ilya has noticed him.
"Hello, moy lyubov." Ilya says, a beautiful smile stretching wide across his face. "Would you like a coffee?"
I would like a kiss.
Shane swallows, nods, "Yes, please."
Ilya nods as well and easily grabs a mug, pouring Shane his own coffee, adding just a little bit of sugar but no creamer. Exactly how Shane drinks it. Because they're boyfriend's and know each other.
And maybe it's because Ilya knows Shane so well that he brings the cup directly over to him and leans in, kissing Shane slowly, languidly, tenderly.
Shane sighs into it, leaning towards Ilya, chasing more more more now that he's allowed. Hasn't he always been allowed?
"You were doing your kiss me stance, sweetheart." Ilya teases, pulling away just long enough to step back and grab his own coffee, Shane's now handed over.
Shane blinks, "Huh?"
"You do this," Ilya gestures vaguely towards Shane as he takes a sip, "where you want a kiss but do not ask."
"I...oh."
"Is okay." Ilya steps forward, kisses Shane once more again quickly, "I will always kiss you. Even when you do not ask."
"I wanted to." Shane admits, looking down at his coffee. "Ask. For a kiss."
"You did. Just not with words."
"And that's okay?" Shane asks softly, looking up from under his lashes. "I know we're supposed to be communicating better..."
"I knew." Ilya reassures him, that beautiful smile still on his lips, the ones that Shane apparently gets to kiss whenever he wants. "Do not worry. We will work up to you asking with words. For now, you keep doing stance."
Another kiss, one that lingers, but doesn't lead to more. Because they don't have to kiss and have it lead towards sex. They can just kiss for the sake of kissing.
"Now, paperwork, hm?" Ilya steps around Shane, slaps him on the ass, "Come."
Laughing, Shane turns and follows after his boyfriend.
