go watch tv

kinda wanna pw protect this blawg and remake but i kinda regret doing that the last 2 times i did it.. but i also;... am a bastard

also what's up with the anons i get?? nobody is inviting you to read the sad posts I made like 6 months ago at 3 am and make commentary. I'm not looking for insight here, just archival and outlet. and being nice to people i dont know has never gotten me anywhere, thanks for coming to my ted talk.

or i mean like, there are people that I want to talk to but it feels like id be taking up so much time in their busy day so i shouldnt even bother.. even though i know they like hearing from me or want me to hit them up.. just got like melted brain as i will say many times in my lifetime... it feels wrong to blame someone but i will blame my childhood abuser coz it's the only thing that makes sense ^_^ constantly flip flopping between like, shut the fuck up, dont talk to me bitch, and inversely why arent you talking to me? Why are you ignoring me? Why do you hate me? Coming from someone that's so important to me, or one of the first and only people I was really open with, I feel like it gave me this shaky groundwork for... just the concept of interaction or even saying anything. i mean I dont want to be dramatic but i really honestly believe it pretty much ruined my self confidence, and that's something that even now im trying to rebuild!!!

oh that? it's just my goo