✶𝔟𝔦𝔤𝔤𝔲𝔶𝔫𝔶𝔞𝔥✶

welcome to my blog! my name is Nyah! if you’re into music, art, movies, and writing, we should definitely be friends! how neat.

here’s some things to know about me:

-i’m an artist and a writer! i do reviews, poems, essays, memoirs, scripts, and more! i draw musicians and actors, mostly!

-if you want to request a drawing and/or give me a writing prompt, just ask me on my blog page!

-i’m a college student, so plllease don’t be creepy :)

here are musicians/bands i like:

-Nine Inch Nails

-Ministry

-Skinny Puppy

-Fiona Apple

-Depeche Mode

-Gary Numan

-The Cure

-David Bowie

-Sisters of Mercy

-Tori Amos

-Christian Death

my favorite media:

-Twin Peaks

-The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

-Dead Ringers

-Tenacious D

-Blue Velvet

-Taxi Driver

-Eraserhead

-Bond Movies

if you have any questions, feel free to reach out!! ^^

it’s six pm on a Saturday and i’m stuffing myself into black flimsy trashbags

to sell to the next Cheyenne-residing child

who can only dream of escaping for the next ten years.

there are notebooks in my dresser drawers 

filled with all of the thoughts that came pouring from my eyes three years ago 

that might end up in the hands of somebody i’ll never know the face of–

or a landfill, probably.

soon enough, my home will no longer be the living room movie nights or

the two hour debriefs inside my Subaru Forester with the air conditioning on.

my home might be the jazz club, the Emerson College library,

or Boston Common with my headphones on,

and i’ll sit while the guilt tangles itself into my ribs

like a disease that only college freshmen seem to get 

whenever they leave their families.

i can’t help but wonder how much garbage 

i’ll leave in the city after the next four years,

or what moving out will be like at that point. 

i’ve been up all night, thinking about all of the relationships

that will later only become “connections”

when, instead, i should be preparing my sleep schedule for 8am classes.

i was convinced as a child that my early college years 

would be a coming-of-age film

but everyone seems to leave out the part 

where you will feel like a getaway driver– not running from your old town, 

your highschool, your ex-boyfriend, not even your parents–

but from yourself. it’s a body-horror. everything is changing, 

the colors of your childhood are getting dull and you are running away from who you used to be. 

but, don’t worry, it’s only a couple months away.

bags and boxes are piling. a month.

two weeks. a phone call. 

four phone calls. declined.

“hey, what are you up to next week?”

hello!!! it’s so good that you’re reaching out! i always get excited whenever one of my friends from my old pinterest account finds me.

i have a feature length screenplay that i finished just recently. i’m in the process of networking and finding a crew right now.

it’s called The Blue Morgue. it’s a psychological horror about a recently widowed embalmer who has hallucinations of her dead husband.

the story follows her strange path of grieving and making sense of the mysterious circumstances she’s in, often communicating with the vision of her husband.

so, i think about Year Zero constantly. and i feel obligated, as a concerned artist, to compare it to the current average American lifestyle: mass surveillance, tainted water supply, religious and political warfare...

but parepin? the drug mentioned in the ARG...? i'm finding that to just be AI.

in the ARG, parepin is distributed through the water supply as an "immune booster" to prevent bioterrorism. but it is actually a psychoactive drug that does a few things:

-reduce aggression

-affect memory retention

-instill credulity in authority

-has dangerous side affects

think about it-- AI is marketed as a tool to make everything a little more convenient. it's free! i mean, why not set aside your own creative and critical thinking skills for a while?

oh wait! AI is actually everywhere-- close to the point where it's difficult to distinguish from manmade material.

not only are we experiencing a literary crisis in the US, but we are CONSTANTLY being subjected to mind-numbing slop. it pollutes our environment and our minds.

parepin was a distraction from the corruption of the Bureau of Morality. AI is a distraction from the corruption of the US.

basically, even if it harms our people, at least they're not discovering anything that they aren't supposed to!

just posted my sketchbook tour on my instagram!

one of the things i’ve always loved about Pretty Hate Machine is the lyrical amalgamation of desire, intrigue, self-loathing, and anger.

in the physical copy, Trent credits Prince for inspiration, and i can totally see it. it is DRIPPING in innuendo, and i notice a new instrumental layer every time i listen to the album. very Prince-esque.

but it definitely resonates currently with me, being very young and confused. i notice that a lot of these lyrics come from a lack of self understanding— compensated for with eccentricity. a difficult place to be in, and even more difficult to describe. but i think Trent does it perfectly.

she looks like the real thing