Instagram || Fiari
@feefifohuds: Lies dude, I can totally see the cheetos dust on your cheeks. #nerdinfancyclothing
@ariswagnister: don't hate me bc i'm beautiful #cheetosblush #latestinediblemakeup #glamour
almost home
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH


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@bigbangtheari
Instagram || Fiari
@feefifohuds: Lies dude, I can totally see the cheetos dust on your cheeks. #nerdinfancyclothing
@ariswagnister: don't hate me bc i'm beautiful #cheetosblush #latestinediblemakeup #glamour

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Text || Wheels & the Bosslady
SAB: u gotta see it from /my/ perspective tho.
SAB: until the next big gig. ive got a bunch of buyers, wheels so shit's getting real. movin up from the minor leagues p damn soon.
ARI: i mean unless you have a dick idk how your perspective on it can be diff from mine but what do i know about what the 1% gets up to in bed.
ARI: oh
ARI: like, how soon?
Text || Wheels & the Bosslady
SAB: yeeeeah as much as I love it in porn im not abt subjecting u to that casting couch life.
[a pause]
SAB: r u...thinking abt doing that?
ARI: really? i am so not a fan. i just feel bad for the poor girl.
ARI: uhh yeah? i mean we're back in town for good yeah?
Text || Wheels & the Bosslady
SAB: so just got off the phone with buzzfeed. they want an interview w u for some click-baity fashion week listicle. there will b a shoot too. they want to jiff u wtv tf that means
SAB: i want u to do it. opportunity for positive publicity for the brand, makes us look more...palatable.
[a beat]
SAB: plus, it pays. what's ur availability like?
ARI: jiff just makes me think jizz and that's like the hardest no i'm ever gonna give in my professional life istg.
ARI: but they mean gif, boss lady. i am v giffable.
ARI: i'm like free as a bird negl. haven't gone back to mom's to ask for my job back, so.
Instagram || Sabrina/Ari
@sfs88: lookin good~
@ariswagnister: i do my best, boss lady. with great booty comes great responsibility [ thumbs up emoji]

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@ariswagnister has shared a picture:
i mean i guess this isnāt your industry-approved model sitting pose but iāve always been a trailblazer tbh #nyfw #pytko #myhairlookslikethatonpurpose #iwasnotnapping #ipromise #donātlistentothebosslady
Rekindling || Aritty
Christ on a cracker.Ā
This is⦠seriously not good. Not the awkward so much, sheās used to that. Things have been off between them since⦠well ever, probably, but more so since their little impromptu NYE makeout sesh. Since Ari went on her world tour modelling gig or whatever.Ā
No, whatās not good is how her stupid traitor body reacts to Ari and her totally weird spazz out. Becuase her heart sort of thumps a bit in her chestĀ and she feels warm in a way sheās not used to and she thinks ā no she feels herself almost⦠swooning? Which is ridiculous, but she guesses in some weird twisted way she thinks Ariās kind of cute?Ā
Ridiculous, right? Because she is so not a nerd chaser! She is a hot independent woman. She bagged a Puckerman for goodness sake! And yet⦠here she is ā cringing internally because Ari is making a total idiot of herself and she thinks itās cute.Ā
āChocolate milk,ā she deadpans. Sweet Baby Jesus ā sheās attracted to a child, apparently. Itās all just sad.Ā āAnything else I can get you? Maybe a PB&J?ā Sheās sure she comes off as a bitch ā sheās kind of just accepted it at this point ā but she thinks (hopes?) Ari knows she doesnāt really mean it. Probably.Ā
She probably has some kind of... leftover trauma from being locked into porta potties as a teen, because when Kitty taps into her (so fake, btw) mean girl persona, thatās when Ari finally feels a little bit at ease. Of course, Kitty is still Kitty and sheās still wearing the little uniform, so Ariās heart feels kinda off-kilter for sure. But still. Better.
āI mean.ā She feels like she can breathe a little easier now. This is okay. Kitty can be mean if she wants and Ari will pretend sheās a playa and totally kissed model type ladies while she was away instead of just replaying the NYE kiss in her head over and over again. They can both pretend. Thatās easy, right? Yeah. She actually lets out a sigh of relief. Feels herself decompress.
āAināt nobody gonna say no to a PB&J, K-Dawg.ā She grins, hands fiddling with her wheels and making her chair rock slightly back and forth.Ā āIāll take it triangle-cut, please and thank you.ā And then, with a (terrible) British accent and the deepest voice she can manage,Ā āAnd Iāll take my chocolate milk shaken, not stirred.āĀ
Rekindling || Aritty
Itās been a whirlwind of a year since graduation and heading out into the real world. Not that sheās really naive enough to think sheās quite hit the real world as yet, but still. Between developing her own youtube news channel with a group of like-minded women, and pointless articles for buzzfeedĀ to keep food on her table, and the newest development of her current employment situation at Acup itās beenā¦. well, unexpected is maybe the right word. All that paired with her nonexistent sex life and confusing text-lationship with her NYE kiss, is enough to give anyone pause, she thinks.
But NYC never stops, and so neither will she.Ā
Until she sees her. All awkward as ever chilling out in her stupid wheelchair with that annoyingly cute stupid look on her face and her heart sort of freezes in her chest (because contrary to popular belief, her heart isnāt actually made of ice).
Did she know wheels was going to be back in town?
She mentally runs over their last few text exchanges, but nothing really comes to mind. Of course, sheās not been super attentive maybe. Sheās a busy, independent woman. She doesnāt have time to check in on her friends and their every movement!
Sheās also way too chicken shit to ask, apparently. So thereās that too.Ā
But now sheās sort of faced with a conundrum. Because sheās in her uniform. And Ari is there. And she knows what April would tell her to do. And so she tugs at her apron and makes her way towards Ariās table, only the slightest nervous warble in her voice as she pulls out her little order pad,Ā āCan I get you a refill?ā
Itās funny cause whoeverās taking her order kinda sounds like Kitty, but canāt be. Except when Ari turns her head to look at her she sees it is indeed Kitty. Wilde. In an... ACup uniform. Little apron and everything.Ā
All right.
Ari knows sheās staring. Like, she can tell sheās totally mouth breathing right now and itās awful but she canāt stop. Her hands feel around for the armrests on her chair. Tap. Taptaptap. The chair is there, so this is real life. Itās just that, just like on NYE, real life has decided to borrow heavily from her wet dreams. Okay then. Closing her mouth now.
āY- yo, K-Dawg.ā A beat.Ā āI didnāt know you were ACupping professionally now.ā She swallows. Rolls back just an inch or two. Looks Kitty up and down (oh good grief why did she do that!?). Clears her throat. Feels her entire face burn.Ā āApronlooksgoodonya.ā Someone end her suffering.Ā āCan I uh... get a hot chocolate? But like, cold.āĀ
Wow.
āSo like. Chocolate milk? Please.ā A defeated sigh. If her modeling swag and texting prowess had bought her some kind of points with Kitty in the past few months, sheās pretty sure sheās lost them all in the first five minutes back home. āExtra syrupy please.ā Drown her sorrows in Hersheyās. Sounds legit.
Rekindling || Aritty
Being back in NYC after a few months is like... Twilight Zone levels of weird. It feels like home, but a weird sort of home. The smells are off. The temperature, the thickness of the air, even. Itās all just... weird. And like, she loves New York. Itās home. She loved spending a few months jet-setting around as Sabrinaās model pal, too, donāt get her wrong (she has enough material about the 1% to edit, like, fifty documentaries), but sheās glad to be back. Even if itās all a bit weird.
Acup is exactly where she last left it, though, and so is April, which is good. She fusses over her and points to a framed picture from the PYTKO fall/winter line on the wall next to Rachelās playbill, and Ari kinda wants to be swallowed whole by the ground itself, but whatever. I mean it could be worse. It could be from the spring/summer line. There were bath things in that one. Skin, even. It was...
She prefers not to think about it.
Just like she prefers not to think about the reason Acup was the very first place she visited after Sabrinaās swanky ride dropped her off at her place. Maybe it has something to do with knowing Kitty may show up at some point. Maybe. Not that she thinks anything will happen, because there was no acknowledgement of the doll thing, and the NYE kiss was a drunken thing that was also never acknowledged, and all their texts these past few months have been like, strictly friendly, so.
But that doesnāt mean she doesnāt want to see Kitty.
Soon, hopefully.
But I mean, nbd.
What drugs have you tried?
Alcohol mostly, tbh. Iāve tried pot but Iām not super into the whole coughinā up a lung deal and aināt nobody got time to learn how to breathe in smoke without choking. Iād rather use my free time to learn High Valyrian, js. Tho tbh Iām like 80% sure thereās weed in the baked goodies my nerds bring to Momās every other Saturday for D&D night so thereās that.
You heard it here first, folks. Not all of us supermodels feed off coke. Some of us stuff suspicious brownies into our face holes instead.
Slow, small and steady hits, Wheels. Ā Sucking it down like youāre about to dive into the deep end of a pool isnāt the way to properly smoke. Ā āSpecially with virgin lungs.Ā
But do tell me more about these edibles at Momās Basement.Ā
Idk man, Iām not sure Iām into the whole toying with cancer thing. Iām already eating all sorts of bacon, I prob shouldnāt add smoke to the mix. Also I wouldnāt say virgin. Just, like. Differently experienced.
Not much to tell tbh. They bring brownies, I dungeon master, we chill. Itās a donāt ask/donāt tell kinda thing. You get the giggles, you assume it was brownie-related, nobody says it out loud. Why, you planning on playing Dungeons and Stoned Dragons any time soon, Boss Lady?

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So Iām hitting up a new place in Brooklyn tomorrow night for their open mic. Havenāt been there before, but I was told theyāre getting a good lesbian following. If anyone wants to come out and support meā¦or..you know, hit up the ladiesā¦itād be cool.Ā
Also now that the pinkās fading in my hair, I canāt decide if I wanna redo the pink, go blue, or rock some classic auburn. Opinions from the peanut gallery?
Iāll be there for moral support and swag factor. And I vote blue. Change it up, Dani Z.Ā
jessistjames:
Tonightās the night. While not the Oscars, the Globes can be your first award season test run. How well do you check your ballot? How many nominated works have you seen? Do you Christmastree and hope for the best? Hone your skill tonight and maybe, just maybe, youāll have a plentiful season of office award show pools.Ā
But no peeking off my ballot. Iām a champ, and my expertise comes at a high, high cost. If you would, however, like to watch the Globes to simply bask in my presence, well⦠you most likely know where we live. Cocktail attire only. No messy buns, sweats or UGGs permitted on a red carpet (viewing party).Ā
Awards season is like, the magical time of year when your interests and mine align a la supermoon eclipse, so Iāll totes be there. Iāll bring doritos. And I donāt own fancy clothes but can I represent the eccentric director collective? I think I have aĀ āshaken, not stirredā tee somewhere. Literal cocktail attire, y/y?
What drugs have you tried?
Alcohol mostly, tbh. Iāve tried pot but Iām not super into the whole coughinā up a lung deal and aināt nobody got time to learn how to breathe in smoke without choking. Iād rather use my free time to learn High Valyrian, js. Tho tbh Iām like 80% sure thereās weed in the baked goodies my nerds bring to Momās every other Saturday for D&D night so thereās that.
You heard it here first, folks. Not all of us supermodels feed off coke. Some of us stuff suspicious brownies into our face holes instead.
F2F [ARITTY]
K: [ She's far too drunk to hold back her amusement. In fact, she's probably (read: definitely) too drunk to be making such bold gestures at such a late (early?) hour as well, so she figures Ari forgives the inappropriate giggling. /God/. She so stupid. With her stupid adorable face, and her stupid wide terrified eyes, and the stupid way her surprisingly fit body tenses awkwardly -- as though not to touch anything she shouldn't. But she should. She totally should. And isn't that Kitty's whole problem. ]
Wheels. [ She places her hand sloppily over Ari's lips -- a little harder than she means to, but hey -- Kitty's got anger issues, she needs some kind of outlet for all that pent up rage that seems to stem solely from the feelings she doesn't have for the girl she's kind of sort of straddling. At midnight. Midnight somewhere, anyway. And that will have to do. ] Shhh.
[ There's a long pause as Kitty drunkenly asses the situation. Even through the alcoholic haze she can hear the far off alarm blaring. RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! THIS IS A MISTAKE! YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING! And yet, despite her better judgement she finds herself removing her hand from Ari's lips and replacing it with her own. ]
A: [ Ari can't move. Not a muscle. Kitty's hand is on her lips and she's looking at her a bit like she's lunch (dinner?) and Ari is like, totally okay with that. She'll be lunch. Whatever. Sure. She just has to focus on not doing anything stupid, like kissing Kitty's hand. But she doesn't have much time to focus on that before the hand is gone and Kitty's lips are right there.
On hers.
Like, kissing her.
So Ari still can't move. For like, three seconds that kinda feel like three hours. She just stays there frozen in shock because out of all the people she thought she may kiss tonight (read: nobody), she's being kissed by the one she was sure she'd only ever kiss in her dreams. She kisses her a lot in her dreams, actually. A lot. She doesn't freeze in her dreams. Which reminds her that this is actual real life, and Kitty is actually real-life kissing her. It's a New Year's Eve miracle.
There comes a moment where she sort of believes it's happening, and decides whatever has gotten into Kitty is probably not permanent. Like, maybe she's so drunk she can't remember who Ari actually is, or she's hit her head and has momentarily decided she's into geeks. Ari doesn't know. But she does know whatever is happening is never gonna happen again, probably, so she should make the most of it.
So she finally kisses her back. It's soft and a little hesitant, because how do you even kiss the girl you like without reminding her that you're the opposite of attractive? The struggle is real. And Ari's hand moves so her fingers can slide into soft (so soft) blond hair while she prays that Kitty is drunk enough to not really notice the way Ari's chest heaves with a dumb (so dumb) happy sigh. ]
happy birthday, to me.
It definitely was a good one. Ā 28 hasnāt been all that bad so far. Ā Oh, and while weāre talking, just a heads up: weāre gonna start planning the spring catalogue. Ā Save me some Saturdays in February for shoots, Wheels.
Saturdays in February. Done. Do you know what itās gonna be like yet? Cause I donāt think even I am swagnificent enough to make florals cool. Js.

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F2F [ARITTY]
Kitty: Yo. Wheels. [ There's a dopey smile on Kitty's lips as she stands there swaying in the doorway. LORD. Even with cushion crease marks etched in her cheeks and bedhead, Ari still somehow manages to look adorable -- which Kitty finds both annoying and endearing. A contradiction, of sorts. Ari makes her feel all kinds of contradictory feelings. ]
It's midnight. [ Kitty shrugs, taking predatory step forward. Her eyes flick to the clock on the wall. She vaguely registers the actual time. ] Somewhere. [ A pause as she takes another step forward, her knees pressing against Ari's. For a moment she feels sorry for Ari's impairment because she doesn't feel the electricity that shoots through their kneecaps at first contact. ] LA -- trash celebs and tan wannabes, seems appropriate.
[ She pushes forward, and with all the grace her drunken limbs provide she clambers onto Ari's chair, straddling her wheelie geek's thighs as best she can with the space provided. With a lopsided smirk that's meant to look seductive Kitty pries the glasses off her face, folding them neatly before hooking them onto the collar of Ari's ratty old shirt. She bites her lip. ] Am I hurting you?
A: [ The only reason Ari knows this is not all a dream is that in her dreams she always walks. But like, other than the chair, she's pretty sure this exact scenario has happened in at least a couple of her dreams. The kind of dreams that make her blush for a couple days afterwards just by remembering them. But she's sitting on her chair, and Kitty really is here. Smiling. And walking closer. And like, being Kitty. ]
[ All Ari can hear is her heartbeat. Thumping along so loudly it feels kinda like when Lara Croft's about to run out of air when she's underwater. Except Ari isn't underwater. Just under... Kitty, sorta. Is she saying something? Is Ari breathing? Is this what a heart attack feels like? ]
[ It's not like Kitty's never touched her. She's wheeled her places before so she's like, sat on Ari's lap. But this is different. This is - well, now she can't see anything. Ari blinks a couple times and then the blurry version of Kitty asks if she's hurting her and Ari doesn't even feel anything so she just shakes her head. Dumbly. Mouth slightly open. ] N- no. [ Another head shake. She closes her mouth with some effort and wonders once again if she's breathing or not. ] I'm good. [ Her hands are gripping the armrests on her chair just so she won't do anything stupid with them. ] I'm good. [ A (dumb) pause. ] You smell good. [ Shiiit. But she does. ] Sorry. I mean happy new year. [ She sighs, defeated, because she just will never be cool around girls she likes, and that's a fact of life. ] 'Sup? [ Has she asked that already? ]
happy birthday, to me.
And now to have my annual celebratory hair of the dog.
Happy birthday, Boss Lady. Hope youāre having a good one.