You had me at 'sex tape'.

@feefifohuds: Lies dude, I can totally see the cheetos dust on your cheeks. #nerdinfancyclothing

SAB: u gotta see it from /my/ perspective tho.

SAB: until the next big gig. ive got a bunch of buyers, wheels so shit's getting real. movin up from the minor leagues p damn soon.

ARI: i mean unless you have a dick idk how your perspective on it can be diff from mine but what do i know about what the 1% gets up to in bed.

ARI: oh

SAB: yeeeeah as much as I love it in porn im not abt subjecting u to that casting couch life.

[a pause]

SAB: r u...thinking abt doing that?

ARI: really? i am so not a fan. i just feel bad for the poor girl.

SAB: so just got off the phone with buzzfeed. they want an interview w u for some click-baity fashion week listicle. there will b a shoot too. they want to jiff u wtv tf that means

SAB: i want u to do it. opportunity for positive publicity for the brand, makes us look more...palatable.

[a beat]

SAB: plus, it pays. what's ur availability like?

ARI: jiff just makes me think jizz and that's like the hardest no i'm ever gonna give in my professional life istg.

ARI: but they mean gif, boss lady. i am v giffable.

@sfs88: lookin good~

@ariswagnister has shared a picture:

Being back in NYC after a few months is like... Twilight Zone levels of weird. It feels like home, but a weird sort of home. The smells are off. The temperature, the thickness of the air, even. It’s all just... weird. And like, she loves New York. It’s home. She loved spending a few months jet-setting around as Sabrina’s model pal, too, don’t get her wrong (she has enough material about the 1% to edit, like, fifty documentaries), but she’s glad to be back. Even if it’s all a bit weird.

Acup is exactly where she last left it, though, and so is April, which is good. She fusses over her and points to a framed picture from the PYTKO fall/winter line on the wall next to Rachel’s playbill, and Ari kinda wants to be swallowed whole by the ground itself, but whatever. I mean it could be worse. It could be from the spring/summer line. There were bath things in that one. Skin, even. It was...

She prefers not to think about it.

Just like she prefers not to think about the reason Acup was the very first place she visited after Sabrina’s swanky ride dropped her off at her place. Maybe it has something to do with knowing Kitty may show up at some point. Maybe. Not that she thinks anything will happen, because there was no acknowledgement of the doll thing, and the NYE kiss was a drunken thing that was also never acknowledged, and all their texts these past few months have been like, strictly friendly, so.

But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to see Kitty.

Soon, hopefully.

Tonight’s the night. While not the Oscars, the Globes can be your first award season test run. How well do you check your ballot? How many nominated works have you seen? Do you Christmastree and hope for the best? Hone your skill tonight and maybe, just maybe, you’ll have a plentiful season of office award show pools. 

But no peeking off my ballot. I’m a champ, and my expertise comes at a high, high cost. If you would, however, like to watch the Globes to simply bask in my presence, well… you most likely know where we live. Cocktail attire only. No messy buns, sweats or UGGs permitted on a red carpet (viewing party). 

Awards season is like, the magical time of year when your interests and mine align a la supermoon eclipse, so I’ll totes be there. I’ll bring doritos. And I don’t own fancy clothes but can I represent the eccentric director collective? I think I have a ‘shaken, not stirred’ tee somewhere. Literal cocktail attire, y/y?

Alcohol mostly, tbh. I’ve tried pot but I’m not super into the whole coughin’ up a lung deal and ain’t nobody got time to learn how to breathe in smoke without choking. I’d rather use my free time to learn High Valyrian, js. Tho tbh I’m like 80% sure there’s weed in the baked goodies my nerds bring to Mom’s every other Saturday for D&D night so there’s that.

K: [ She's far too drunk to hold back her amusement. In fact, she's probably (read: definitely) too drunk to be making such bold gestures at such a late (early?) hour as well, so she figures Ari forgives the inappropriate giggling. /God/. She so stupid. With her stupid adorable face, and her stupid wide terrified eyes, and the stupid way her surprisingly fit body tenses awkwardly -- as though not to touch anything she shouldn't. But she should. She totally should. And isn't that Kitty's whole problem. ]

Wheels. [ She places her hand sloppily over Ari's lips -- a little harder than she means to, but hey -- Kitty's got anger issues, she needs some kind of outlet for all that pent up rage that seems to stem solely from the feelings she doesn't have for the girl she's kind of sort of straddling. At midnight. Midnight somewhere, anyway. And that will have to do. ] Shhh.

[ There's a long pause as Kitty drunkenly asses the situation. Even through the alcoholic haze she can hear the far off alarm blaring. RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! THIS IS A MISTAKE! YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING! And yet, despite her better judgement she finds herself removing her hand from Ari's lips and replacing it with her own. ]

A: [ Ari can't move. Not a muscle. Kitty's hand is on her lips and she's looking at her a bit like she's lunch (dinner?) and Ari is like, totally okay with that. She'll be lunch. Whatever. Sure. She just has to focus on not doing anything stupid, like kissing Kitty's hand. But she doesn't have much time to focus on that before the hand is gone and Kitty's lips are right there.

On hers.

Like, kissing her.

So Ari still can't move. For like, three seconds that kinda feel like three hours. She just stays there frozen in shock because out of all the people she thought she may kiss tonight (read: nobody), she's being kissed by the one she was sure she'd only ever kiss in her dreams. She kisses her a lot in her dreams, actually. A lot. She doesn't freeze in her dreams. Which reminds her that this is actual real life, and Kitty is actually real-life kissing her. It's a New Year's Eve miracle.

There comes a moment where she sort of believes it's happening, and decides whatever has gotten into Kitty is probably not permanent. Like, maybe she's so drunk she can't remember who Ari actually is, or she's hit her head and has momentarily decided she's into geeks. Ari doesn't know. But she does know whatever is happening is never gonna happen again, probably, so she should make the most of it.

Kitty: Yo. Wheels. [ There's a dopey smile on Kitty's lips as she stands there swaying in the doorway. LORD. Even with cushion crease marks etched in her cheeks and bedhead, Ari still somehow manages to look adorable -- which Kitty finds both annoying and endearing. A contradiction, of sorts. Ari makes her feel all kinds of contradictory feelings. ]

It's midnight. [ Kitty shrugs, taking predatory step forward. Her eyes flick to the clock on the wall. She vaguely registers the actual time. ] Somewhere. [ A pause as she takes another step forward, her knees pressing against Ari's. For a moment she feels sorry for Ari's impairment because she doesn't feel the electricity that shoots through their kneecaps at first contact. ] LA -- trash celebs and tan wannabes, seems appropriate.

[ She pushes forward, and with all the grace her drunken limbs provide she clambers onto Ari's chair, straddling her wheelie geek's thighs as best she can with the space provided. With a lopsided smirk that's meant to look seductive Kitty pries the glasses off her face, folding them neatly before hooking them onto the collar of Ari's ratty old shirt. She bites her lip. ] Am I hurting you?

A: [ The only reason Ari knows this is not all a dream is that in her dreams she always walks. But like, other than the chair, she's pretty sure this exact scenario has happened in at least a couple of her dreams. The kind of dreams that make her blush for a couple days afterwards just by remembering them. But she's sitting on her chair, and Kitty really is here. Smiling. And walking closer. And like, being Kitty. ]

[ All Ari can hear is her heartbeat. Thumping along so loudly it feels kinda like when Lara Croft's about to run out of air when she's underwater. Except Ari isn't underwater. Just under... Kitty, sorta. Is she saying something? Is Ari breathing? Is this what a heart attack feels like? ]