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Hero, in recognition for your courage and temerity in the face of my absolute evil, I grant thee a ring of maidenification.

this shits gonna flip into a clean 500 gold pieces for sure

Of course it will, should it leave your finger~

my friend you are off your rocker if you think this thing is even getting close to one of my ring slots I know better than to make that mistake after putting on one of your amulets and being turned into a newt for a week

you were really cute as a newt. . .

I work as a receptionist and there are two computers at the front desk and right now one of my coworkers is Googling “concept of the self” and the other is Google image searching Jersey Mike’s sandwiches

Apparently, Zapp Brannigan and William Laurence are two steps from the same inspiration character (Hornblower). Jack Aubery and Jim Kirk (in TOS) are similiar, but Kirk has a rep.

Hey…. Hey… Character’s covered in blood, okay? You remember characters covered in blood?? You used to love characters covered in blood

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

It's a shame that porn games and sim games don't have a lot of present overlap, because I feel like "horny mechsplo game where you have to actually win the fights to get to the sexy bits and it's one of those hyper-detailed 1990s era mech piloting sims that uses every single key on the keyboard" would do numbers with a very particular audience.

pjackk's corpse has washed up upon the shore rusted and covered in seaweed

they pushed his corpse back out to sea

Let's all go out for tinis and bruschetta and not invite pjackk