hm

Right now in my life, I'm so lost. I'm feeling this deep and intense sadness, but I know that I'm going to get out of it. It's going to be difficult, but I can do it. I have to affirm it, you know. Yesterday I cried in front of my two year old nephew and he gave me this very genuine hug for about two minutes. He's been holding me together this past month that I've been in Philly. Caring for him has been a well needed challenge. I love him so much. I don't know why but I've felt so abandoned. It's so difficult. And I feel like I'm being patronized to get attention. Because of course this abandonment is needed, but there needs to be constant reminders that it's okay that I've been abandoned from the person doing the abandoning, but clearly not to me. The person who's experiencing the brunt of it. There's no understanding or attempt to. But you can't force anyone to see anything they don't want to see. Things like this just make me very very depressed. Depression is real.

It's so hard to be loving to other women when they sometimes threaten what you desire. This is like a real life situation that's happening and I don't really know what to do. But I'm just going to love this women I haven't witnessed with my eyes yet. With love comes love, so all shall be well.

Mama by May(me)