i like this stuff

can you take my white ass to funkytown

nope. torture city again

come on

It matters because I gave it meaning bitch

“what that mouth do” speak falsehoods mostly, but lately i’ve also been really getting into blaspheming before god,

girl help they are making me do my job at work

i think "take a hike" is like the funniest response to someone. like dude just get outta here. and go experience the wonder of nature for a bit

ancestral form of touch grass

i want to be a vampire so bad. it would open up a whole new world of procrastination. puts off finishing a novel for 100 years. i don’t do the dishes for 20. oh wait i don’t have dishes because i suck blood. another fucking win

you do not have permission to stop caring about vampires just because october is over btw. vampires are a year round event

honestly i dont even play an active role in my life shit just happens and im like oh is this what we’re doing now ok

the sexual tension between me & what i’m capable of

How can ants have farms? They’re too small to control the chickens and the pigs

i don’t know if elephants understand politics but i Highly doubt they would be republicans