i K O N

hey, it's ol' mate here.

tonight, we finally got to see hanbin live. unfortunately he's not a part of ikon anymore, but, unsurprisingly, his presence filled the stage. though you hoped to see ot7 on a big stage, hanbin performed at a small theatre to a small crowd. it actually just felt like one big party. i saw a few konbats in the crowd, and that made me emotional. i hope his heart has been on the mend since the shit happened.

he performed 'be i' and 'born hater'! that brought me back to all the time you spent listening to, and watching, kpop, and the hours spent on tumblr. i danced and jumped and shouted as hard/loud as i could all night, constantly thinking that this moment right here was our dream 10 years ago.

i thought a lot about what kinda fans were in the crowd tonight. whether they were/are ikon fans, whether they've been following hanbin since team b days, whether they're brand new to the world of kpop. regardless, i hope he continues to receive a lot of love. seeing him up close reminded me that he is just a boy with a dream, and i'm so proud of his hard work and perseverance.

his back up dancers and dj were such great hypemen. they were great performers, but you could also tell they were having a lot of fun. seeing them stand in a line and bow at the end made me emotional, because it made me think of ikon. i hope he has been able to surround himself with a good group of people who give him the creative and emotional support he needs.

i don't follow kpop anymore, but i do miss the days when it brought us so much joy. life was so simple back then. but now i have other things that bring me joy! like going to concerts lmao. you'd be proud of the adventures we've been on with maia.

also, i went with maia and candy! candy follows kpop now, how crazy is that? she knows all the new shit that you have never heard of. on the drive up, i was playing 2010s kpop and she called the music old. how fuckin rude.

it's bed time now. i have to wake up in 5hrs so i can go to my boring job so i can afford more of these adventures. gonna see jay park for the second time in a few months!

a message to my younger self, a younger hanbin, and present day hanbin: you're doing great kid. keep it up. everything will be okay 💕💕