being a lesbian obviously isnt easier than being bi, but being bi isn't easier than being a lesbian either, and its a fact that within wlw circles being a lesbian is still considered superior than being bisexual, and often being a wlw is still considered synonymous with being a lesbian: lesbian love, lesbian couple, lesbian relationship, lesbian wedding, etc.

bi women talk about their experience of being rejected simply for being bisexual, of people doubting their commitment to lgbt liberation and feminism because they're still attracted to men, of constantly having to hear everyone complain about how annoying and toxic and awful we are, but y'all think it's as simple as saying "its okay to be bi I promise lol" like they're gonna be like "oh yeah sorry I totally didn't think of it that way, I love myself and my bisexuality now."

it's shocking the lack of compassion some of you have for bi women. if a bi woman calls herself a lesbian instead of bi just because its easier to date women that way yalls first thought isn't "wow she must have a lot of internalized biphobia to reach a point where she thinks she might as well just call herself a lesbian if she wants to be in relationships with women", its "oh my god this horrible nonlesbian she's totally leading lesbians on by not calling herself bi, that's so toxic and evil, she's going to try to lead her into a threesome with a man"

and as much as I hate "bi lesbian" being a thing I really don't think y'all are aware of why a bi woman would think being bi is not enough, so like maybe think for a second instead of immediately jumping to the conclusion that it's because all these people are selfish infiltrators who think lesbian should just mean wlw again (which.....I mean again that's something that's definitely supported by the language that's often used so maybe we should think about that too)

manwoman flag 4 when you’re a man+a woman at the same time :] the thin pink+blue stripes on the outside represent society’s narrow idea of man+woman as opposite/conflicting roles, the gradient into green+orange represent man+woman as complimentary gender experiences, and the thin yellow stripe on the inside represents the unity between them/experiencing both of them at once

I've been on testosterone for 3 years, and frequently people have made comments about how it must be hard because now I can never have children. And for a long time, I would say that yes, it is hard to know that, because my sole regret about going on testosterone was how I'd never be able to get pregnant (as my doctor told me). But now I know that's not true-- transgender men, including those who have been on testosterone for many years, are capable of having healthy, happy babies. I see many posts on here talking about how testosterone should not be used as a contraceptive (true!) and resources for seeking an abortion when you're transmasculine, but I don't see anyone encouraging or providing information to those who may have medically transitioned but still want to pursue pregnancy.

Here is a Guide to Transmasculine Fertility, complete with several "lesson" sections on various topics such as assisted reproduction options and aging fertility rates, written by verified physicians and Trystan Reese, a transgender man who has pregnancy experience. This is an excellent and thorough resource, and not the only article that the site has on transgender pregnancy and parenting. In my opinion, this is the best resource on the list, so it's first.

Here are personal accounts of transmasculine pregnancies from Evan Hempel, Jason Barker, Thomas Beatie, Trevor MacDonald, and there are so, so many more just a Google search away.

Here is a Heathline article that discusses the issue of social stigma around transmasculine pregnancies, and how to combat it.

Here is a (short) NYT article about a reproductive endocrinologist's (supportive) perspective on transgender pregnancies.

Here is a list of resources that covers much of the above, and more.

Many of us are told when we begin testosterone that it can impact fertility, destroy our reproductive organs, etc. and not only is that blatantly untrue, but it's wildly harmful to those of us who want to be pregnant. We deserve this information, we deserve to know our options, we deserve to decide for ourselves what we want to do with our bodies. Yes, transgender men who want to be pregnant are certainly in the minority. But too many of us think we're infertile or are told that we are by doctors who don't know enough about transgender healthcare, leading to irreversible decisions that do render us infertile (such as hysterectomies). While this is aimed at transgender men, it is also worth mentioning that this applies to anyone and everyone who engages in HRT, mastectomy, etc. including nonbinary people, butches, genderfluid people and so on.

absolutely! there are a few things that i remind myself when i want to feel confident:

1. you have a right to take up space. you’re living in the same world as everyone else, and they’ve got no right to make you feel like you don’t belong where you are. whether this is standing in line, waiting for the public restroom, speaking up for yourself, holding hands with someone, etc. root your feet to the fucking floor, don’t let people move you from where you *deserve* to be.

2. there is no amount of changing yourself that’s going to appease people who ‘disapprove’ of you. this sounds kind of counterintuitive, but trust me, this mindset gets me through the day. if you start altering your appearance, mannerisms, the way you carry yourself, the way you talk, until people decide you’re being ‘feminine’ enough, it’ll never stop. there’s always going to be someone who thinks they know best for you, and that the way you’re living is wrong. changing yourself to ease this discomfort is a *complete* waste of your time. gd knows they’re not changing shit for you. every transgressive piece of your appearance, your mannerisms, is something you owe yourself.

3. you can’t control how people see you, just like they can’t control how you think about them. if you’re masc, some people might call you sir, some people might think things that are untrue of you. we live in a society. let go of the feeling that you need to be in charge of how you’re seen. you’ve got more important shit to do. i mean, sure, stick up for yourself if you want to, but you’re not responsible for other people.

4. it is ABSOLUTELY okay to feel like you’re not confident. this is the whole ‘fake it till you make it’ bit; there’s nothing wrong with being scared of an interaction, being anxious, feeling like crying. that’s okay! feelings are okay. good, even. but don’t let that undermine you. in my life, at the times where i *looked* the most confident, i was pretty nervous under the surface. that’s totally okay. just keep moving forward and trying. talk like you belong, say the things you need to. so, SO many people are doing the exact same thing every day, i promise.

5. tough guys use the buddy system! being tough is cool and all, but there’s nothing wrong with having a friend come with you to things. your community is what makes you strong. you don’t have to go it alone, that’s just not how we’re built as people. you never have to go into situations that make you feel unsafe just to prove you’re tough, especially alone.

6. being you is enough. hell, being you just might change someone else’s life for the better. remember that being you is something worth being confident about in and of itself. you don’t have to be some idealized, 'more butch/masc’ version of yourself to owe yourself confidence.

Aya [Brown]’s scenic depictions beam with ghetto nuance and seduction. Her work is intersectional—she takes artifacts from Black and queer culture and fuses them, putting a face to the often unseen. Aya’s art suggests that lowbrow is the latest highbrow response to boring straight white male culture. Her style draws upon figures both living and deceased, from Missy Elliott to Toni Morrison. It’s nasty foreplay and sensual love. It’s Black Lesbian pride. “It is one of my biggest missions in life to document my own history, BLACK LESBIAN history,” she tells office. “This is not a game of telephone. I don’t want a little Black girl to learn about us, from anyone but us.”

written essays by @mediumkravitz​​

revisiting “both” definitions of bisexual

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