Sometimes Just Because

People fall so in love with their pain, they can’t leave it behind. The same as the stories they tell. We trap ourselves.

Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.

Don’t we touch each other just to prove we are still here?

I would like to be able to gently drift in and out of existence when I wanted to.

It’s upsetting to feel so close to someone yet not have the ability to control their thoughts or effectively manipulate their feelings. Sex is ultimately disappointing because a body becoming separate from another body is a cruel reminder that two bodies can’t be merged in any emotionally sustainable way. I’m not saying I feel lonely during sex but if I think about it afterwards it does seem lonely.

Drinking wine is the closest thing to not drinking that I can manage right now.

The main thing wrong with the world is that each person has to continue to be herself long long long long long long long long after it’s become completely unbearable.

It is something to consider, if we’re making a list of things to consider, that most relationships are mirrors of yourself, and that those who you choose to be around is largely dependent on what you want to see in yourself at that time.