Sneak peek of my secret life

You say you don’t like my hair and drenched it with paint? Fine, I’ll wash the paint away and dye my hair. 

You hate my freckles? That’s fine too, I’ll just cover them up with make up.

You make fun of my teeth? Okay. I’ll stop smiling and I'll wear braces.

Think I’m a freak ‘cause of what I like? I’ll stop that too and pretend to enjoy what everyone does.

You think my glasses are ugly? I’ll take them off and wear contacts.

You start rumours about me and turn everyone against me? Okay, I’ll spend the breaks alone, book in hand, inside the building where you can’t find me. 

You call me a freak, weirdo, nerd and laugh at my clothes? Fine. I'll look down to the floor, ashamed, and change my style completely.

You stuck gum on my hair ‘cause it’s too long? Fine, I’ll cut it myself and dye it ginger.

Now you’re bored and decide it would be funny to destroy my project and laugh while I'm presenting? Fine, I’ll bite my cheek so hard that I'll taste red.

You don't have enough? Now you start pushing me into walls, sticking your foot out when I walk by. Breaking me to pieces each time. 

What once was a quiet mind, is now filled with whispering demons waiting for failure. 

The anxiety attacks became a routine, midnights became my afternoons, overworking myself to get myself to stop thinking.

My castle is crumbling overnight and you and your army attack me with flames, swords and poisonous words, until I can’t fight anymore. 

Thanks to you, now, I’m the last choice, no one wants to talk to me or be my friend. Even those who were supposed to stop this hell just stare and when I look at them. But they just blamed it on me for not being “extroverted” or “sociable” enough, so I asked for it. This couldn’t be far from the truth.