NotThatKind

Todo ese cariño llegó de golpe como una marea. Llevaba años sin sentir ese calor y esa necesidad de amar y ser amado, de sucumbir ante una caricia, de perderme en una mirada, de lanzarme al vacío y saber que me sostendrían. La conexión más pura, instantánea y hermosa que he sentido. Mi vida se llenó de alegría, emoción y suspiros llenos de añoranza, ruegos por más y más momentos de éxtasis y…

Al final de un buen día me alegro de no haber pensando en lo que me hiciste. Al final de un mal día, solo puedo repetir en mi cabeza, una y otra vez, las dulces y rebajadas palabras que dije para no empeorarlo todo. El día de dejarlo ir todo se acerca y cuento las horas, minutos y segundos para no volver a pensar en la época más dura y absurda de esta vida. Pero mientras ese tiempo llega hay…

Pensé que ya nunca más sería el mismo, sí. Que ya nunca me dejaría volver a sentir intensamente, tirarme al vacío y confiar. Pensé que mis mejores días ya habían quedado atrás, sí. Que debía aceptar que lo mejor sería no volverlo a intentar para no querer arrancarme la piel, el corazón y las ganas de dejar de pensar. Sentirme nuevo de nuevo era mi deseo más fuerte. Sentirme nuevo de nuevo…

Stop what you’re doing and listen to me. Look at that flower, it’s the prettiest I’ve ever seen. I think of you by just looking at it. I think of us when I smell it. I think of you. Look at that flower. It’s staring to die. Even if you water it, it’s not coming back. Now that I think about it, I think of you by looking at it. The flower is now dead. You can’t look at it no more. But even…

I stopped for a moment to think about what you’ve just said. But never uttered a word. You took my silence for an answer and walked away. Talking back was never my way of saying things. You needed some feedback. But I never uttered a word. A smile from time to time. A wink here and there. I never needed to speak to make you feel special. Loved, even. But the silence I didn’t break when…

Don, Jack and the wedding they never had

A decade has passed since I last saw Jack. But that didn’t matter when he decided to send me and invitation for his wedding. I stood still for about an hour just staring at the shattered envelope. “Poor Don”, was the first thing that came to my mind. The love of his life was marrying some girl. The love of his life was moving on. The love he never wanted. Until it was too late. Even when…

I found a strange note the day he left me. “Please, don’t follow me”, it read. But I followed anyway. I found him wandering through deserts and surfing waves across oceans, but he never spoke to me again. I used to walk behind him and he would look back at me in the distance but he never spoke to me again. He went into isolation deep into the hinderlands after he left another note for…

Todo el 2021. Red Lights, Stop Signs Stronger: Save Your Tears My Bed & My Heart April’s Fools Company Missing/Your Touch Eurovision Bops 2021 Retro Party 2021 Show Me Love 24 Hours/Out Am I Alright? Curtain Call

Todo el 2020. Wait And See Found It In You Stranger Love Kings & Dancing Queens Mascara On The Dancefloor Screaming Quietly Scenery Commando Eurovision Movie Bops Levitating Love Is Religion Take You To Hell Infinite Dance & Disco Lucid

Todo el 2019. Music to Make Boys Dance The Pyscho Room Not The One Proud Retro Party 2019 Body2Body Ritual/All The Time One Touch All Day Green Machine: Greatest Hits 2019

I saw you and talked to you the other day, even when you left years ago. I even heard you talking back… in your husky, lowest voice. No one wants to believe me… but I am absolutely certain that it was you. Smiling, with that crooked frown. I saw you and talked to you even when you ghosted me years ago. Someone told me I should move on and forget everything about you. I have tried and failed…

I ran away in the middle of the night. No one saw me walking out my house without saying goodbye. I disappeared. No one saw me ever again. I walked through the night with just a suitcase full of memories waiting to be forgotten. I never looked back and everything started to vanish. My name, forgotten. My face, washed away in time. My life, in ruins after I decided that it was easier to run…