Bethan

Who am I?

Hello, I’m Bethan (she/her), 18 years old, from England, and I am a wolfstar blog!

Where can you find me?

Instagram: @/bethansfandoms

Ao3: bethanlovescoffee https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bethanlovescoffee

Sending me prompts

You can send me prompts via my ask inbox or Instagram dms! Anonymous options are possible for both! (For Instagram you will not be anonymous to me but I won’t publish your name with the prompt!)

I currently have over 100 prompts! Which, whilst amazing, unfortunately means I will not be able to answer them all. I like to keep my inbox open, however, so I have a range of options! I don’t answer them in the order they are sent to me, and so if I haven’t answered your first one done be discouraged from sending me another!

What will I write?

I try to keep this blog short and sweet, and so I will 100% write fluff for both cannon and au wolfstar oneshots! I will, however, also write angsty stuff if I have inspiration for it so don’t be discouraged from sending it! Basically anything wolfstar you think is a good one shot idea, I’m probably down!

What won’t I write?

Smut. Or anything where I think I’d need to put serious trigger warnings. Happy to write about topics where a content warning may apply (stuff I’ve written in the past has included underage drinking and talks of anxiety/panic attacks as well as discussing Sirius’ family and issues associated with that) but nothing super heavy ideally!

My activity habits

I answer messages both here and on Instagram (and I actually tend to be more active over in Instagram!). I don’t try to stick to any posting schedule, so assume if I’m not posting I’m going through stressful life stuff/lacking time and motivation, however feel free to keep sending me prompts and, if I haven’t stated otherwise, assume I’ll be back to posting when I can!

Other fandoms

I have now created a blog and an ao3 pseud for Scorbus. It’s @scorpiusandstars both on tumblr and ao3, and I will not be posting anything relating to Scorbus anywhere else. Bethanlovescoffee on ao3 and this blog and my Instagram page are still 100% wolfstar and I won’t be talking or writing about anything next gen related here

Ko-fi

Hello! Below, I’m going to link my ko-fi account! I want to make it super clear that you do not have to send me money to send me a prompt, please keep sending me them! I’ve set it up because bills are expensive and I’m just a silly student, but it is NOT necessary to send me anything, I’m going to be okay I don’t need anything in the way of financial support and my minimum donation is set to the lowest it can go so I’m really not asking for you to give me your money because it’s tough for everybody rn! But yeah, I’ve set one up, and please message me if you use it because if you have a prompt I’ll make sure it’s one I do, as thanks, but once again I am still writing prompts regardless of the use of my Ko-fi, and it is not necessary to use it if you have a prompt for me! Okay. I think that’s pretty clear? Still writing prompts for free. Pls don’t send me money you don’t have spare <3

“Settle down,” McGonagall instructed, flicking her wand at the chalkboard at the front of the room. Human transfiguration. Remus refrained from groaning.

He liked transfiguration, he was good at transfiguration, but NEWT level transfiguration the day of the full moon, especially on a topic as difficult as human transfiguration, was the last thing he needed right now.

“I need you to listen very carefully,” McGonagall said once she’d reached the front of the classroom. “Getting this wrong can have catastrophic consequences. And after weeks of learning the theory behind it, today is the first day that you may actually be in danger of inflicting these consequences upon your partner.”

Remus actually did groan a bit at that. It was just his luck they’d be doing a transfiguration practical of all things. He looked over at Sirius who was staring straight ahead, eyes glossed over like he wasn’t really paying attention. “Do you think if I told McGonagall I wasn’t feeling up to it, she’d let us off?” Remus whispered to him.

Sirius didn’t respond, and so Remus poked him gently in the arm. “What?” Sirius asked, jumping slightly.

“I just wondered if-”

“Mr Black, Mr Lupin,” McGonagall said, sternly, “no talking, especially over something as important as this.”

“Never mind,” Remus whispered. “Hey, you okay?” Sirius just nodded, and Remus frowned slightly. He looked down to Sirius’ hands. He was clasping and unclasping them desperately and his leg was bouncing under the desk.

Remus quickly leant down, rummaging around in his bag until he found the muggle ball point pen he always kept on him. He handed it to Sirius before placing his own hand, palm down, on the table.

Remus wasn’t sure when this routine had begun, exactly, but it was one they were now familiar with. Sirius’ shaking hand took the pen from Remus and he flashed a small, thankful smile before taking the lid off of the pen and placing it gently to Remus’ skin.

Sometimes, he connected the small freckles Remus had, turning them into patterns or consolations, or sometimes he’d draw little stars. Remus watched him as he began to draw small flowers next to the scar running across the back of his hand, but his attention was reclaimed by McGonagall who was staring at him, pointedly.

Thankfully, she didn’t say anything, and continued her lecture without scolding him. Remus payed attention this time. When he looked back down to his hand, there was a small spiral of flowers seemingly climbing their way up his scar. He smiled to himself before continuing to listen and letting Sirius continue to draw.

Sirius was so absorbed in what he was doing that he didn’t even notice when McGonagall told them to partner off and carry out their assigned practical task. Remus gently placed his hand over Sirius’. “Are you okay?” he asked again, now that the class was rowdy and talkative.

“It’s nothing,” Sirius mumbled. He handed the pen back to Remus. “We’re doing a practical, right?”

Remus nodded. “Yes. Human transfiguration. We’re just trying to alter one thing about our partners appearance. Like changing hair or eye colour or something simple.”

Sirius nodded. “Right. Okay.” He definitely didn’t look okay as he picked up his wand and stood opposite Remus.

Remus hesitantly got up as well, looking around the classroom for inspiration. Dorcas and Mary were stood at the opposite side of the room, Dorcas’ hair now an alarming shade of pink and Mary cackling manically.

“Do you want to go first?” Remus asked. Sirius just shook his head and pointed to Remus. Remus hesitated. “Sirius, look at me.” Sirius lifted his head but kept his eyes firmly on the floor in front of him. “Tell me you’re okay with me doing this spell.” Sirius nodded. “No, tell me.”

This time he did meet Remus’ eyes with his own. They were wide, and panicked, and Remus placed his wand firmly on the desk and strode towards him. “I’m-” Sirius choked out, but that was all he managed.

Remus searched frantically for McGonagall, eventually meeting here eye and then looking towards the classroom door. McGonagall looked confused, but she nodded, and Remus was pulling Sirius out in an instant.

“Breathe,” he said, softly. Sirius shook his head, his eyes still looking around frantically. Remus gently placed his hand over Sirius’ heart, he could practically feel it beating through his robes. He took Sirius’ hand in his own and placed it on his stomach. “Copy my breathing, okay?”

“Can’t,” Sirius heaved. Remus pressed Sirius’ hand firmer against him and inhaled deeply, held it, and then slowly released.

“You’re okay, Padfoot,” he whispered. “Keep copying me.”

Sirius nodded, letting another sob tear through him. Remus knew he just wanted to curl up on the floor; Remus wouldn’t let him. They stayed there for what felt like hours, Sirius taking a long time before his breathing was finally starting to replicate Remus’. His breaths were still shaky and his eyes were still wide and glossy, but he was breathing slowly, was the important thing.

“Hug or no hug?” Remus asked, because they always asked each other when calming each other down.

“Hug,” Sirius replied, his voice small. Remus wrapped his arms around him in an instant.

“Do you want to tell me what that was about?” Sirius just gripped him tighter. “You don’t have to.”

“It’s silly,” Sirius said, pressing himself impossibly closer.

“What’s our golden rule?”

Sirius let out a laugh. It was small, and brief, but it was there. “Can we sit down?” Remus pulled away, only slightly, and the two of them crumpled to the floor, Remus immediately wrapping his arm back around Sirius and Sirius burying his head into Remus’ chest. “It’s just parent stuff again,” Sirius explained.

Remus nodded. He understood; it happened sometimes. It was one of those things that the marauders all just adjusted to, especially after he’d run away. Sometimes, something would remind him of that night, sometimes something so small that Sirius couldn’t even pinpoint what it was himself.

“That doesn’t often happen in transfiguration,” Remus said gently.

Sirius reached out and took the hand he’d drawn on earlier, tracing Remus’ scar and the flowers around it. “No. No, it’s just… just human transfiguration. It was a punishment sometimes. That’s all.”

Remus tilted Sirius’ face so he could look at him. “You could talk to McGonagall. I’m sure there’s ways around you having to do stuff about it in our exams?”

“It’s one of the hardest forms of transfiguration. It’ll just look like I’m trying to get an easier NEWT exam.”

“You are one of the brightest people in that class, there’s no way anybody would think that you weren’t capable.”

Sirius grinned, “Wrong, Dorcas is the brightest person in that class. You saw what Mary did to her hair.”

Remus kissed him, smiling into it. “Well I’m glad your sense of humour has returned,” he said once they’d broken apart, “but I mean it. McGonagall will understand.”

“Well, do tell what it is that I am to be understanding.”

Sirius and Remus simultaneously snapped their heads to the doorway to see McGonagall looking down at them. Remus felt Sirius pull away slightly but Remus bravely stayed put, pulling Sirius back into him.

“Professor,” Remus started, “it’s just that-”

Maybe it was because she saw that Sirius was still crying, or maybe it was because she knew it was the day of the full moon, or maybe it was the favouritism James constantly insisted that she held for them. Whatever it was, she held her hand up to stop Remus speaking.

“Consider it understood. I’ll be in my office after our lesson. Feel free to drop by then to talk about it. But I assure you, you do not need to worry. Now, will you be returning to my lesson?”

“No,” Remus said, before Sirius even got the chance to open his mouth. “Sorry, professor.”

“Then I’ll get Ms Meadowes to come out with your stuff shortly.” She turned to walk back into the classroom before pausing. “I imagine the two of you will do remarkably well regardless of missing this class. Don’t worry about doing the assignment I set if you don’t find the time.” With that, she walked back into her classroom, shutting the door behind her.

Remus looked back at Sirius, smiling. “See? It’ll be okay.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said. “That was uncharacteristically generous of her. Maybe James is right and we are her favourites.”

Remus squeezed his shoulder before standing an extending an arm to Sirius, pulling him up from the floor. “Okay, we have an hour. Then we can see McGonagall?”

Sirius nodded. “Can we go back to the dormitory and nap?”

“I’m never going to say no to that.” Remus turned back towards the classroom door when he felt Sirius wrap him in a hug again. He twisted around in his grip to hug him back properly. “Are you feeling better now?”

“Yes. I struggle not to feel better around you.”

Wow! What a disappointing piece of work to randomly re-appear back with after a year of not posting, huh? Anyway. Suprise? I’m writing again I guess??

much love :)

“He’s cute when he’s sleeping, isn’t he?” Sirius said, smiling fondly at the boy asleep in his cot.

Remus felt his heart give a painful tug. Moments of domestic bliss were not supposed to be accompanied by pain, but no matter how much Remus loved Harry, everything served as a constant reminder as to why he and Sirius had to care for him in the first place.

Lily and James Potter had only been gone for three weeks. That was all. They were weeks full of grief and crying and him and Sirius desperately trying to be okay. Harry had been both a distraction to the pain and a reminder of it.

“Yeah,” Remus said, quietly. “Do you ever think Albus was right?” he asked, cautiously, “that Harry should be with the Dursley’s?” The thought had been playing on his mind ever since they had been told they were allowed to keep him with them, despite Dumbledore’s wishes.

Sirius removed his hand from Remus’ shoulder and looked at him. “No. Of course I don’t. You remember Lily telling us that Petunia called her a freak, don’t you? I’m his godfather, Remus, Lily and James wanted me to take care of him if anything happened to them.”

“They never said anything about me though...” Remus said slowly.

“What?” Sirius asked, bluntly. “James and Lily love you- loved you.” Remus watched Sirius wince as he corrected himself to the past tense. It sent a pang of sadness straight to his stomach.

“I know, but—”

“Harry loves you, Remus, I love you.”

“I love you too, but—”

“But what?” he shot, “There isn’t anything more too it!”

“Yes there is!” Remus had raised his voice now, “I’m a werewolf, Sirius, I’m classified as a wizard killer by the ministry! Why do you think Dumbledore suggested he live with the Dursley’s?”

“Because he didn’t want Harry in the wizarding world after—”

“There’s that, but it’s also because of me! Because I’m dangerous! Because I...” he trailed off. The look of hurt on Sirius’ face alone was enough to stop him in his tracks, but his raised voice had woken Harry.

Remus quickly walked into his room and picked him up, bouncing him lightly and rubbing small circles onto his back. “It’s okay,” he whispered, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Harry kept his crying up for a few more moments and Remus kept soothing him until, eventually, his head slumped onto Remus’ shoulder and he drifted off to sleep again.

Remus caught Sirius watching him in the doorway with a soft expression. “What?” he whispered, conscious of the sleeping boy still in his arms.

“Dangerous wizard killer my arse.”

Remus rolled his eyes and placed Harry gently back into his cot. “Full moon in two days. I’m sorry I snapped it’s just…”

“I know, Moony. But Molly Weasley agreed to take Harry, and I’ll be there with you, and it’ll be okay.” 

“You make it all sound so easy,” Remus sighed, wiping his eyes quickly. 

“Are you joking? I’m so out of my depth, Remus, I don’t— I went most of my childhood without good parents, I’m not really sure how it works. I’m not sure what I’m doing, and I’m scared for a lot of reasons but you being a werewolf is absolutely not one of them.”

Remus looked over to where Harry was sleeping and then over to the framed photo of Lily and James on the windowsill. “I really want to do this right. For him,” he nodded to Harry, “and for them,” he nodded to the photograph, “and I’m worried I’m not up to it.”

“What was Harry’s first word?” Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow. “What was it?”

Remus laughed and felt himself tearing up again. “Lily always claimed she heard mummy, you know.”

“Lily was lying to make herself feel better.” He poked Remus softly in the chest. “Moony. That’s what he said. And who is the only person he’ll let read him bed time stories?”

“You don’t do the voices,” Remus muttered.

“And last week when he fell over, who was the person he wanted to comfort him, hm?”

“Yeah, alright, I get it.”

Sirius smiled and leant up onto his toes slightly before wrapping Remus in a tight hug. “That boy loves you. Do you remember what James said to you, the night we asked you about where you go every month?”

"James, don't be ridiculous," Remus pleaded. "Find McGonagall and take your name off the list of students who are staying here over the holidays." James stared at the letter in his hands and took a deep breath.

The Christmas of 1977 would be the day after a full moon. It had been a tough decision, but Remus decided that going home over the holidays wasn't a good idea.

His mum was unwell and, despite what his parents said, he knew his transformations took a lot out of them as well as him.

What he'd momentarily forgotten was that in trying to spare his parents from an exhausting Christmas eve, he had indirectly dragged the marauders into it.

But the day before the holidays were due to start, James had received a letter. His dad had been taken to hospital. He would be fine, he'd be home for Christmas, but he refused to have James stay at the castle with him. He would have argued that Fleamont was Sirius' dad too but he knew better than to try and get Sirius to go home.

"Peter, you go as well," Remus said, turning to him. Peter hated staying at the castle over the holidays. His mum was usually alone on Christmas if he wasn't there.

"Remus... are you sure? How will you stop the tree if I can't—"

"We'll find a branch or something," Sirius supplied. "Touch the knot, it'll be fine. Right Moony?"

"You know, Sirius, I have madam Pomfrey, you could—”

"Don't be an idiot, Moony.”

Which is how Remus found himself in the hospital wing on Christmas morning, his head achy, his bones throbbing, and his hand being held.

He blinked against the blinding light of the room to see Sirius, asleep in his chair with his hand loosely gripping Remus’. And suddenly Remus was reminded of why it had been a bad idea to agree to spend the Christmas holidays alone with Sirius.

The last week or so had been fine, they went out in the snow and played chess by the fire and woke up to the room absent of James disturbing their sleep or Peter’s snoring. Remus, however, had been painfully aware of his feelings for Sirius the entire time, and Sirius didn’t help to diffuse the situation at all.

It was strange. There were moments where Remus would be certain what he felt was entirely unreciprocated, and then there’d be moments like this. He squeezed Sirius’ hand and felt him stir, watching as he slowly blinked awake.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. Remus had thought he was talking about holding his hand until he squeezed back, not letting go, and sat further upright. “Fell asleep.”

“Don’t apologise. Actually, do. How many times have I told you to sleep in the dormitory?”

Sirius rolled his eyes and yawned. “I’m sorry for this, too.” Remus raised an eyebrow in confusion and Sirius finally let go of his hand, only to gently trace his cheek. It stung, and Remus hadn’t even realised he’d been injured there. “Harder to keep the wolf at bay without James.”

“It’s fine, honestly. Just a scratch, it’ll fade. Hey… I didn’t get you, did I?” Sirius opened his mouth, closed it again, and that was all the answer Remus needed. “Shit, where?”

“Just my chest. It’s fine, Remus.”

“It isn’t! The wolf scratches don’t fade, you know that! I shouldn’t have asked you to stay, we need James to—”

“It’s Christmas, Remus. Lighten the fuck up.” Remus felt his face relax slightly and he laughed, which made Sirius laugh too.

Eventually, Sirius helped Remus out of the hospital wing and into the common room, which they had to themselves.

It was an incredibly quiet Christmas at Hogwarts. Remus put it down to what the whole wizarding world was saying at the moment: there was going to be a war and parents wanted their children home. But as Remus watched the snow fall, curled up under a blanket next to Sirius, it was hard to believe there’d be anything of the sort.

“Can I give you your present?

Remus narrowed his eyes. “You already gave me my present last week with James and Peter. And you were far too generous.”

“It’s just something small, I promise.” He was running up the stairs to the dormitory before Remus could even protest.

“If I suspect that this cost too much money—”

“It didn’t,” Sirius said, cutting him off. “I already promised, don’t you trust me?”

Remus accidentally caught his eye for a moment too long before hurriedly looking away, trying to hide his laugh as Sirius handed him the present. Sirius was absolutely appalling at wrapping presents, even when he tried to do it with magic.

He carefully removed the paper to reveal a framed photo that Remus hadn’t seen before. It must have been taken recently. In it, Sirius was brushing snow off of Remus’ coat, throwing his head back in laughter at something he was saying.

“James gave it to me recently, said he came across it and thought I’d like it. I thought maybe you wanted a copy too?”

Remus didn’t know what to say. There was a moment in the photo where he looked away, and the way Sirius looked at him whilst he wasn’t paying attention made his heart flutter. “Thank you. It’s… it’s a really nice photo.”

"I thought so too," Sirius said, simply.

They settled into silence and Remus tried hard to ignore the way Sirius was sat far closer than he needed to be or the way his eyes seemed to be fixed on Remus' profile.

“It’s weird,” Sirius said after a few moments of silence, “but I don’t think I’ve ever spent more than a few hours alone with you in the seven years we’ve been here. It’s always the four of us and then me and James over the holidays.”

“There was those two days where both James and Peter were in hospital with concussion in fifth year.”

Sirius laughed at the memory. “I’d almost forgotten about that. Do you think madam Pomfrey actually believed they’d both fallen out of a tree?”

“Absolutely not. I’m pretty certain she knows you lot spend the full moons with me, to be perfectly honest. She’s never believed our bullshit stories for a second. It’ll be weird when I leave this place… not having her after the moons.”

“You’ll have me,” Sirius said, quickly. “And James and Peter, of course. I, uh, I wasn’t going to mention it just yet but she’s actually been showing me how to do all the healing stuff.”

Remus readjusted his position to see Sirius better. “You what?”

“Well… Four months ago I asked if I could shadow her as she healed you. Told her I wanted to know what to do once we’ve left Hogwarts. That’s sort of why I don’t go back to the dormitory at all anymore. Whilst you sleep, she shows me how to do some of the potions and spells and all that. James and Peter stick around sometimes too.”

Remus just gaped at him for a moment. “You… you don’t have to do that. It’s unbelievably sweet of you but—”

“How many times, Remus? I know I don’t have to do it. You’re not some… some burden I feel like I need to do all this for. I do it because I want to. Like how I wanted to become an animagus and how I want to spend the day after full moons checking up on you and like how I wanted to stay at the castle this Christmas, with you, because…” He trailed off.

“Because what?” Remus asked, a little breathlessly.

Sirius let out a huff of breath. “Because… because I care about you,” he settled on. “Because you’re my… my Moony.”

“I’m yours, am I?” he quipped. The look on Sirius’ face made him regret the joke instantly.

“I dunno,” Sirius said, quietly. “Are you?”

And what was Remus supposed to say to that? He wasn’t even sure what the question meant, it could mean so many things, and yet Remus slowly, but assuredly, nodded. “Yeah. I think… yeah.”

At some point during the conversation they must have moved even closer together, and it was only when Sirius lightly cupped his face that Remus really noticed how little space he’d have to close to kiss him. Which he did. And the smile he could feel on Sirius’ lips made his heart swell.

“Are you sleepy?” Sirius asked, softly, his face still close. Remus checked the time. It was still the middle of the afternoon. They should be with the teachers in the great hall eating Christmas dinner, or outside on the snowy grounds. But he was exhausted, and so he nodded.

“Okay. Let’s take a nap and then I’ll go to the kitchens and get some food or hot chocolate or something when we wake up, yeah?”

“You’re too nice to me,” Remus groaned, reluctantly standing from the sofa.

“Are you nervous?”

Sirius let out a slow breath. “Yeah. I am.”

“Don’t be, they’ll love you.” Remus squeezed his hand reassuringly and led him further up the path towards his front door.

“Do your parents... I don’t know all that much about Hanukkah. What if I--”

“Sirius,” Remus smiled. “It’s okay. My parents know you haven’t celebrated before, they just want to meet you.”

Sirius nodded and took the final few steps to the front door which Remus pushed open, giving him one last smile before shouting “Mum, dad, we’re home!”

Hope Lupin was the first to greet them and Sirius instantly noticed the way she shared her sons smile. 

She wrapped Remus in a tight hug, saying something to him that Sirius didn’t quite catch before turning her attention to him. “And you must be Sirius! It’s so nice to finally meet you!” 

Sirius went to shake her hand but she just laughed and gave him a hug too. “Sirius,” Lyall greeted, appearing from upstairs moments later. Sirius had met him a handful of times but only at the train station platform as he dropped off or picked up Remus. 

 “Thank you for having me. And for letting me interrupt your Hanukkah.”  

 Remus went to protest but Hope beat him to it. “You are not interrupting, we’re very happy to have you here. It was nice of Dumbledore to let you come over with Remus for the evening.”

“Dumbledore lets a literal werewolf go to his school,” Remus muttered, “I’m sure letting an extra student spend an evening elsewhere isn’t much of an issue in contrast.”

Hope swatted his arm lightly and checked her watch. “I think we have just about enough time to have a cup of tea before lighting the Hannukiah.” With that, she and Lyall walked through the hallway towards the kitchen.

“Hey,” Sirius said quietly, stopping Remus before he could walk away. “I’m sorry if this is really stupid, but I always thought it was called a menorah? Just, uh, well when I was reading books…”

Remus smiled and kissed him gently. “A menorah is slightly different. It has seven candle holders, a Hannukiah has nine. That’s the one we light during Hanukkah. But I love that you did research.”

Sirius gave him a half smile before following Hope and Lyall through to the kitchen. It was a small, cozy little thing with exposed brick walls and chipped wood tables and chairs.

“Tea, Sirius? Milk? Sugar?”

“Milk no sugar would be great, thank you Mrs Lupin.”

“Just Hope, please,” she smiled. “Are your family religious, Sirius?”

Sirius hesitated and Remus noticed instantly, touching his mum’s arm gently and lowering his voice. “Mum, Sirius doesn’t like talking about his family.”

Hope’s face fell and Sirius quickly cleared his throat. “No, it’s okay. They’re not. They, uh, they’re quite against it… actually. But I’m not like them. I’m not—”

“I’m sure you’re not,” Hope said, sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Sirius. Remus told me you lived with James. I should’ve…” she looked out the window and smiled. “How about we go through to the front room?”

Remus placed his hand on the small of Sirius’ back as they followed his parents through to the living room. He raised an eyebrow as if to ask if he was okay. Sirius nodded.

“Sirius, would you like to place the candles in the Hannukiah?” Lyall asked.

Sirius’ eyes went to where it sat in the window. “No I… I don’t want to do it wrong or something.”

“I’ll tell you what to do, it isn’t difficult,” Remus said gently. “Here,” he handed Sirius a candle.

“So you put this one on the far right.” Sirius did as instructed and Remus handed him another. “Then just keep working along, right to left. Leave the middle one though,” he pointed to the holder slightly higher up than the others. “That one is for the Shamash. The candle we use to light the others,” he added, seeing the look on Sirius’ face.

Sirius thought he’d feel like an outsider as he watched the Lupin family light the Shamash and say two blessings before lighting the eight other candles, left to right, singing something in Hebrew. Instead, he found himself smiling at the fact that Remus had invited him to see this part of his life.

Once all the candles were burning and the singing had come to an end, Remus made his way over and wrapped Sirius in a hug. “Happy Hanukkah.”

“Thank you for inviting me this evening. Your family seem amazing.” He pulled away, a little conscious of the fact Remus’ parents were probably watching them.

“They’re your family too, if you’d like.”

Sirius felt his heart warm. “What happens now?”

“Now we get to exchange gifts and eat some of my mums amazing food. She makes the best latkes, you’ll love them.”

The rest of the evening passed pleasantly. Remus’ parents had given him a present, which he hadn’t been expecting, and he had proceeded to thank them repeatedly.

Hope’s cooking was indeed amazing and Sirius found it easy to talk to Remus’ parents. He found himself surprised at his ability to contribute because, truthfully, he was still learning what communication with family was supposed to look like.

By nine o’clock Sirius couldn’t eat another bite, despite how good Lyall’s sufganiyot had been, and he was almost falling asleep curled up next to Remus on the sofa.

“You two should probably be getting back to Hogwarts,” Hope said sadly. “You know where you’re apparating to?”

“Yes,” Remus confirmed. “We’re meeting a member of staff just outside the Hogwarts grounds in about,” he checked his watch, “ah, five minutes.”

Sirius looked over to the Hannukiah again, the candles now having burnt themselves out, and then stood up. “Thank you so much for having me. I had a really nice time.”

Hope smiled and hugged him. “It was great to meet you, Sirius. We’ll see you next week at the beginning of the holidays, right?”

“Right.” He pulled away.

“Perfect. Maybe you can come back next Hanukkah as well.” Sirius felt himself smile. They wanted him to be with Remus next year. “I’m sorry about mentioning your family earlier. That is to say, your old family. I’m sure the Potters have probably said the same to you but, well, our family is yours. If you’d like.”

Sirius looked over to Remus who was laughing with his dad and then back to Hope. “Moony, uh, Remus said the exact same thing earlier. Thank you, really. Maybe I’ll know the blessings and the songs by next year.”

“You’re a good person, Sirius. I hope you know that.”

As Sirius stepped out into the cold December air, waving goodbye to the Lupins one last time, he felt Remus take his hand in his own.

“Was my mum being embarrassing when she was talking to you just then.”

“She invited me to Hanukkah next year.”

Remus laughed. “Of course she did.”

“She called me a good person, too. I’m not sure if anyone’s done that before.”

Remus stopped abruptly. “Well, she’s right,” he said, firmly. “You were really nervous about meeting them, hm?”

“Why’d you say that?”

“You called my mum Mrs Lupin!”

Sirius groaned. “I know. I was going for polite and charming. Hey,” he said, stopping Remus in his tracks. “Are you apparating us or a I?”

“I will.”

“Good shout. Your limbs probably go through enough trauma during full moons without me splinching them clean off.”

Remus laughed and kissed him. “Happy Hanukkah, Padfoot.”

"James, what are you doing?"

James practically jumped out of his skin as he turned to look at Remus. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes, desperately."

"I just thought the place needed a bit of decoration!"

Remus looked around at the common room and frowned. "You're hanging mistletoe outside the stairs to the boys dormitory."

"Your point?"

Remus shook his head in bemusement. "No point, just thought it was a bit weird, is all."

He heard James mutter something under his breath but didn't quite catch it.

"Why are you hanging mistletoe outside the boys dormitories?" Peter asked as he stepped through the portrait hole.

James threw his arms up in a fit of frustration. "Just... the place wasn't looking very Christmas-y and Gryffindor tower is throwing the Christmas party later!"

Remus looked over to the large Christmas tree in he corner of the room but refrained from pointing it out.

A party the night before the Christmas holidays began was a bit of an unspoken rule in Gryfindoor tower. The Prewett twins had started it, but once they had left the marauders had taken it upon themselves to keep it up.

Remus didn’t overly care for them, the common room was simply not big enough to comfortably hold all of Gryfindoor at the same time and it usually got too hot and too noisy for Remus’ liking.

He did, however, enjoy seeing his friends have fun. He was also quite partial to mulled wine he knew Marlene was planning to provide somehow.

“Hoping of catching a boy under the mistletoe or...” Lily asked as she entered the common room. James threw his arms up in frustration. “Screw all of you.”

At seven o’clock, Remus was placed in charge of casting the appropriate silencing charms and by half past seven the party was in full swing.

Marlene had indeed managed to provide mulled wine and Sirius had created a playlist which Remus had counted as having Elton John’s ‘step into Christmas’ on it three times already.

Lily, obviously feeling some qualm due to her head girl position, took on the role of making sure nobody under the age of sixteen was drinking alcohol because whilst most people were underage, a line had to be drawn somewhere.

“May I have this dance?”

Remus turned to see Sirius, clearly a little drunk, extending an arm. “You want to dance with me to Feliz Navidad?”

“Problem?”

Remus sighed and put down his drink. “Fine, whatever.” There were so many people jumping around already that he decided joining them wouldn’t make him too self conscious as presumably nobody would pay him much notice. 

What he had not expected was for Sirius to place his hands on Remus’ waist. “What’re you doing?” Remus shouted over the music.

“Dancing!” Sirius shouted back.

“You can’t slow dance to this song!”

“You can if you’re drunk enough. Lighten up Moony, it’s almost Christmas!”

Remus sighed. “You’re insane.” 

“I’m sure something slower will come on in a minute if you’d prefer that.” He held up a hand and as the song finished, listening to see what would play next. When ‘step into Christmas’ came on again, he whooped and placed his right hand on Remus’ shoulder blade. “Remus! I love this song!”

“I know, it’s come on four times now.”

Sirius, once again, failed to acknowledge that the song was far too quick to try and waltz to and took one of Remus’ hands, attempting to move them gracefully which was made difficult by the sea of people, the fact that he was drunk, and the fact that Remus couldn’t dance.

“Are you waltzing?” Remus turned his head to see Peter, drink in hand, watching them in amusement.

“Don’t ask,” Remus replied, flushing slightly. “His idea, obviously.”

Peter just shrugged and walked away to sit on the sofa. Remus looked around the room to see if anybody else was actually watching. He was sure they weren’t, but in that moment it felt like every eye on the room was on him.

“Moony?”Remus turned his face back to Sirius. “You’re worrying.”

“I’m not—”

“You are,” Sirius sing-songed. 

Remus rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, just... worried people are watching, you know?”

“So what if they are, hm?”

Remus opened and closed his mouth a few times. “I don’t... I don’t know?”

Sirius removed his hand from Remus’ shoulder blade but kept hold of his hand. “Come on, then.” Remus let himself be pulled out of the crowd and towards the dormitory stairs. “Less people here. Shall we?”

“This playlist really is not the appropriate tempo for—” He broke off as he heard the opening bars to Joni Mitchell’s ‘River’.

“Oh yes!” Sirius enthused. “I added this one for you! I know you love her.”

“My mum loves her, not me,” Remus corrected.

Sirius scoffed. “I think we’re good enough friends for me to know that’s bullshit.”

Remus gave him a half smile before letting himself be led in a waltz again. He couldn’t help but think it was an incredibly strange way to be spending a common room party, slow dancing to a Christmas playlist concealed by the wall of the dormitory stairway.

When the song ended and something upbeat and festive Remus didn’t recognise came on, Sirius kept them twirling and Remus finally voiced his thoughts. “Why aren’t you dancing with a girl, hm?”

Sirius stopped and stood upright, suddenly appearing far more sober. “Would you rather I was?”

“I didn’t say that, I just asked why you weren’t.”

“Because it’s a Gryffindor party and out of the four girls in our year, Lily is clearly about four seconds away from agreeing to go out with James, Dorcas and Marlene appear to be dancing together, I’m pretty sure Mary has fallen asleep on the sofa, and despite what people may think maybe I don’t want to dance with a girl.”

He suddenly straightened even further, apparently recognising what he’d said, and let go of Remus entirely. “Hey,” Remus said softly. “It’s s okay.”

Sirius held eye contact with him and Remus could practically see the way his head was working around his thoughts. “I didn’t— What if isn’t?”

Remus had no idea what he meant by that, and so he just shrugged and repeated himself. “It’s okay.”

Sirius opened his mouth to reply but his eyes suddenly darted towards the ceiling. “Since when has that been here?” he asked, and Remus followed his eye-line before remembering.

“James was hanging it up earlier. Im not sure why.”

“Remus, I didn’t know that. I didn’t— that isn’t why I took you over here I could see you were getting anxious and I thought, oh, this will be out of eyeshot and—”

“Sirius,” he laughed. “It’s okay. I didn’t think that.”

“You’d have every right to,” he muttered, “I just told you I’d rather dance with you than a girl and then pointed out mistletoe it’s coming on a bit fucking strong if you ask me.”

“Well…” Remus started, “actually, how drunk are you right now?”

“Honestly, not very…”

“Okay.” Remus ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. “I’d rather dance with you too, then. Than a girl, I mean.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Remus lifted his eyes to the ceiling and then back to Sirius. “Hey, we don’t actually have to… you know.”

“And refuse Christmas tradition on the day before the Christmas holidays?”

Remus felt his heart speed up a little. “Well, you raise a good point.”

Sirius placed a hand on his face, giving him time to change his mind. When he didn’t, he closed the gap between their lips and kissed him, and Remus had never been so thankful for James Potter’s weird decoration ideas.

“Ohhhh,” Lily said under her breath. “Is that why you put mistletoe there? You knew they’d go up to the dormitory together?”

just that one little mix up with the two words but other than that it was completely lovely<33

-jules

Remus checked his watch, the one Sirius had given him for Christmas, as he approached the Potter’s front door.

He was late. Not drastically, but enough for him to worry that maybe it was rude. Although, from what Sirius had said, the Potters usually invited so many people that it was very likely that nobody would even notice.

He caught sight of himself in one of the large windows and paused. He wasn’t overly sure what the dress code was. He’d worn his nice pair of jeans and a shirt but it had been so cold that he’d put a grey knitted jumper over it and tucked the collar out. Suddenly, he worried it was too informal and could feel his heart speeding up.

He snapped himself out of it. It was just a New Year’s Eve party. There would be lots of people there, nobody would care what he was wearing, it’d be fine. He knocked on the door and waited.

It flung open seconds later and Remus barley had time to register it was Sirius before he was being pulled into a tight hug. “Moony!”

“Sirius, hi.” He hugged him back, perhaps for a little too long. “How was your Christmas?” he asked as they pulled away.

“It was great. Euphemia makes the best Christmas dinner in the world I swear. I mean the Hogwarts one is good but… how about you?”

“It was nice. Just me and my parents. I expect I got more of a lie in than you.”

Sirius scoffed. “Seven in the morning. That’s when James woke me up to do presents. He’s like a small child. Anyway, come in, you look freezing!”

Sirius stood aside and let Remus past, closing the door behind him. “Are James and Peter…”

“Somewhere,” Sirius shrugged. “Lily’s here and obviously James is very much enchanted.”

“Meeting the parents already, huh?”

“Right? Seven years of teasing and now he’s the only one who’s actually in a seemingly serious relationship. Hey,” Sirius said, stopping suddenly and turning to face Remus. “I like your watch.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “You said you were only getting me something small. You lied.”

“A watch is pretty small, no?”

“Not in price, Sirius.”

“Can’t here you, party’s too loud!” he said, pushing open the living room doors to reveal a sea of people. He scanned the crowd for a moment before grabbing Remus’ hand and pulling him towards the kitchen.

“Moony!” Remus smiled at Peter who had bright red cheeks and was swaying slightly.

“What’ve your done to wormtail?” Remus asked suspiciously.

“Someone here brought muggle alcohol and obviously it’s stronger somehow. He’s absolutely plastered,” Sirius laughed. “I think I’ve probably had too much if I’m being honest.”

Remus went to reply but felt a pair of arms wrap around him. “Remus fucking Lupin!” James slurred. “I thought you weren’t coming for a second!”

“Sorry,” Remus apologised. “My parents—”

James placed a finger over his lips and Remus laughed in surprise. “No apologies, Remington, I was just teasing. Now, everyone with me, we’re going to the kitchen to find more drinks!”

“You have absolutely had enough,” Sirius’ eyes turned to Peter, “as has he.”

“Padfoot, you’re the only one of us who’s actually eighteen, stop being so boring!”

By ten minutes to midnight, Remus could definitely feel the effects from the alcohol and felt pleasantly light and warm. He seemed to have a far better tolerance than James, Peter, and Lily who had begun dancing like their lives depended on it about half an hour ago. Sirius seemed surprisingly sober but he had always been pretty good at hiding it.

The music was loud and the place was crowded and that was why Remus wasn’t quite sure he’d heard Sirius correctly. “Pardon?” he shouted.

Sirius bit his lip and sighed. “I said, who are you kissing at midnight?”

“I thought that’s what you said. Nobody, obviously. Why?”

“Well, it’s tradition, of course! James will be kissing Lily and—”

“And who are you kissing, then?” Remus asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Well, Peter if you say no.”

Remus felt his heart speed up. “W- what? Me?”

Sirius shrugged, “I don’t… you don’t have to. I just—” Remus stood, slightly dumbstruck, and watched Sirius open and close his mouth a few times. “Excuse me.” And with that, Sirius pushed his way out of the living room.

Remus took a second to try and process what had just happened before following him, through the kitchen and out into the garden. The freezing cold air was a stark contrast to the warmth of the house and Sirius was sat on the patio stairs, his hand over his heart.

“You alright?” Remus asked, cautiously, sitting next to him.

“Yeah, sorry. Bit warm in there is all. I needed some air.”

Remus turned his head and could just about see everybody making their way into the living room, presumably for their countdown to 1978. “We should probably go back inside.”

Sirius shrugged. “Hey, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier I was sort of…” he trailed off.

“You didn’t. And you didn’t let me answer either.” Sirius turned to face him and raised an eyebrow. Remus suddenly wished he hadn’t said anything. “I mean, if it saves Peter from being kissed by you, I’d, uh… you know?”

Sirius smiled, slowly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Although I don’t know how happy some of the guests would be about that.”

Sirius stood and grabbed Remus’ hand, pulling him up before walking around the house until they could see into the living room properly. There was a countdown sparkling above the fireplace. Thirty seconds.

“1978, huh. We finish hogwarts in six months. Isn’t that crazy?” Sirius said, somewhat sadly.

“Yes. It’s terrifying.” Twenty seconds.

“We’ve almost been there seven whole years. That’s how long I’ve had to tell you…”

“To tell me?” Ten.

Sirius looked over to the window as he heard people counting down. “Fuck it. I’m in love with you. So if knowing that makes you want to change your mind, please do.” Four seconds.

Remus stayed put. Three, two, one. He watched Sirius’ face as he heard the cries of ‘happy new year’ and realised Sirius was waiting for him. And so Remus took his face between his hands and kissed him.

“Happy new year, Padfoot.”

Sirius smiled, softly. “Happy new year.” Then, he kissed him again.