Kind Hearted

“I’m always going to worry about you, Beth. That’s just a fact of life.” Samuel confided with an easy smile. It wouldn’t ever matter that Beth was far more capable a person than he, he’d been born with a purpose five long years before it came along — to be her big brother. It was a role he took seriously, valued above all else. “For the record, you’re my best friend too.” It was an easily made comment, considering she’d been around far longer than even Dominic. 

“Reservations are a totally different thing. They’re perfectly reasonable, considering what you mean to me.” Which was true enough, fair that Samuel was wary of any person around Beth that might scream ‘flight risk’. “Now if it was Nadia, you could say pretty much anything you’d like.” The blonde offered as collateral the woman who Sam had been shocked to find out that Beth had confronted. “I’m working on it, you know?” He laughed, head shaking. “I’m not in any big rush, anymore. It’s nice to just… Be with Veronica. For now, we’ll let this little thing keep the lucky baby title.” Cerulean hue would flash a wink her way. “That’s a decent enough way to think about it. No one’s ever going to marry them, honestly. They’re kind of insufferable.” eb26795e-a9/s540x810/9ce1af5a562dd3a0bcbbdf9c85215e7a9f4c55cc.gif

“Maybe so, but you don’t need to actively worry about me all the time. Maybe it can just be more of a constantly looking out for me, type thing. Don’t worry too much, Sammy, we don’t want you to get gross frown wrinkles.” Beth might be the baby of the family, something they all viewed her as, but the blonde worried about her siblings just as much as they worried about her, but as her own life had settled down and began to work itself into something she adored, her worry for them had settled as well. “Obviously, just don’t tell Sydney, she might get very territorial.”

Squeezing her brother gently, Beth stepped away and over to her oven, peeking inside to check on the dinner before closing the door. “Ugh, Sam, don’t even bring her name into this house, it is not welcome.” She was sure their confrontation would’ve got back to Sam and even though it was extremely out of character for Beth, it wasn’t something she regretted. “I did say whatever I liked to her and I’d do it all over again.” Taking a sip from the glass of water on the kitchen island, Beth glanced to the timer on the oven before looking back to her brother. “What are you drinking with dinner? If you want beer, you have like five minutes to run and get some.” Rolling her eyes, Beth took another sip of water. “No one is going to marry the next generation of Drydens? Please, with these genes, they’ll be too easy on the eyes to not get a ring on it.”

When sober, when reasonable, it was difficult to get a rise out of Beau. Owen had accomplished it with a few choice words shared regarding Beth, and even though some sort of response was warranted, he’d not been proud of the fact that things had gotten physical. But some days, the ones where nothing could seem to just go right, this was who Beau was. A short fuse, irritable, still seeking that easy vice that he’d once held within reach less than a year ago. It was all still fresh, his sobriety, and everything that came with it. 

“And I’m tryin’ not to let it get under my skin. I’m just not used to it, any of this. It’s easy to be nice when everyone else is bein’ kind too, y’know? Whole different story when it’s comin’ from you too.” Beau cracked a slight smile as she turned to face him, arms sliding to hold her loosely at the waist. “I know it ain’t easy, baby.” Caramel hues glanced down as she went on, tongue dampening his lips, shoulders inevitably shrugging. “I guess, yeah, it pushed me over the edge. But I’ve… been talkin’ to my sponsor pretty much every day since you told me about the baby.” There was a defeated look in his eyes, as if he’d let Beth down in some way. “I’m just worried I’m gonna fuck this up.”

Beth knew nothing about alcoholism. She had done her research when Beau first went to rehab, she had read so many articles and recommendation pages, one night she had even fallen asleep reading an article on how to support someone that suffered from the addiction, but realistically, she knew nothing because she had never been an addict. She would never understand the compulsion, the triggers, nothing, she could read, she could learn, but she would never know. As hard as it was, that was something she was just going to have to deal with. 

“I don’t want it to come from me, had you not replied when you did I probably would’ve calmed down by the time you did text me back but you know me, this isn’t like me, I snapped and I was wrong, I just didn’t expect the reaction I got, I guess.” The blonde sighed a little as his arms wound around her waist and she felt herself beginning to soften. She wasn’t ever going to be able to stay mad at him for long. “Beau, I really wish you would talk to me about this sort of stuff. I know you have your sponsor but surely you need the support from me as well. You can still lean on me, baby, I’m not a china doll just because I’m pregnant. Is this really messing you up? Are you struggling because of all this?” 

The idea that Beau was so worried he was going to mess things up, thawed her completely and her hands were soon on each of his cheeks. “Beau, you realise that you’re already doing it, right? My mom asked Ellie if she missed the old house and all she could talk about was how much she loved living with you. How she loved that you do the different voices for the characters in her stories, that you never say no to a tea party, that you let her pick out the wall colour, that you always sneak her an extra cookie when my back is turned. She said that she really loves when we all cuddle on the couch and watch a movie.” Her thumbs gently stroked over his cheekbones. “You are loved and you are adored and I get that I will never understand what you go through, but I promise you, you have nothing to worry about. You’re here for me every second and I know that, you’re there for her every second and she knows that. You are already everything to us, baby, you’re not fucking this up.” Her eyes never left his, even when her hands slid down to rest on his chest. “You’re an incredible roomie, you know? And I know you are going to be an amazing father, just like your dad.”

Perhaps she was a bit overconfident in thinking that Beth would be okay with the fact that her friend-slash-obstetrician was dating her older brother, but either way she was thrilled to see that it was the case. Upon seeing the name on her list of patients for the day as well as what the appointment was for, Veronica had instantly gotten butterflies, doing her best to skirt around any mention or hint of the fact itself around Sam until she was sure he knew. After all, just because they were dating didn’t mean that doctor and patient confidentiality wasn’t a factor.  “Smart lady – well,  you don’t need to worry about this gal spilling any secrets. My lips are sealed,” she made a zipping motion with her fingers over her lips. “That being said though, I’m so happy for you and Beau! I’m sure we’ll get ‘em in here next time.”

A small snort escaped Veronica’s lips as she got the ultrasound device ready, shaking her head. “Girl, you don’t have to tell me twice. When I was pregnant I constantly made Brody leave the room during these appointments,” she shook her head, standing at Beth’s bedside next to the monitor with a warm grin. “Are you ready too see the little guy or gal that’s going to be your baby?”

There was no doubt in Beth’s mind that she could trust Veronica, no matter if she was dating Sam, but there would’ve always been that risk if Beth had text her, if Sam was using her phone or saw it on the coffee table and it was definitely not how she wanted to tell her brother that she was having another baby. The little bit of fun of leaving Vee guessing for a few hours wasn’t all that bad either. “I know, I trust you, you know that, I’m sure he’ll tell you when he knows anyway.” Nodding, Beth shuffled a little on the couch, just trying to make herself a little more comfortable as they prepared for the ultrasound. “Thank you, it’s exciting. For sure, he’ll be at the next one, this was just a little last minute. If you want to tell him you enforce a total silence rule until the scan is over, that wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

Nodding again, Beth took a deep breath to relax herself, turning her head to one side so she could watch the screen. She felt pregnant, the multiple tests had all confirmed it, but until she saw that little bean on the screen, she couldn’t quite bring herself to fully believe it. “Let’s do this, let’s hope the ten positive tests weren’t lying to me.” 

“I’d like to think so. Younger me wanted to be a teacher, wanted to be a mom, wanted to still be friends with her best friends, wanted to be happy, have an amazing group of friends and the same bond with my family, so yeah, I think she’d be pretty happy with how she turns out.”

“Right now my least favourite would be my raging pregnancy hormones. I try really hard not to be hard on myself. Favourite thing, I have no idea, that I’m a good friend and mom? That I’m happy? That’s a hard one.”

“The day I had Ellie. That first minute with her, the first cuddle, the first look, I’m so glad my mom took photos of those first moments when I got to hold her, it’s the best moment of my life. It was the best day of my life.”

“I’m not a particularly mean person, really. I did call Nadia a gold digger, but you know, truth hurts. It would probably be something I said to my ex when he miraculously appeared back in town after five years, but again, deserved it, so does it count as mean?”

There was a great deal of pause from Beau then, the last vestige of anger holed up in his chest losing its steam as Beth shrank further into the reserves of his own hoodie. Teeth sank in his cheek, chewing nervously as she scolded him, keenly aware in that moment he wasn’t on higher ground in this argument. “Yeah, no, I… I did.” Beau admitted quietly, nodding slowly as he glanced towards the windows, a hand lifting from his waist to comb through his hair. By the time he looked back to where Beth had been situated on the sofa, she was pacing towards the kitchen.

“Beth,” He made his way over to her then, eyes boring into her back as she rinsed his dishes. “You’re not a… I can’t even say that word but, you’re not that. Never that.” A short sigh flared from his nostrils as he’d then step closer, hands landing on her elbows to still her movement at the sink, his forehead stooping to press against her shoulder. “You’re never a reason to drink, okay? That’s… That’s not what I meant. You didn’t cause my bad day, alright? I shouldn’t have dug my heels in. I should’ve just let you yell at me, honey. But I’m not goin’ to bed angry, okay? And I can’t let you go to bed cryin’.”

Beth remembered so little about the beginning of her pregnancy with Ellie, she couldn’t remember if she had struggled this much with her hormones. That and her emotions were all over the place anyway, she wasn’t sure she’d have noticed. Maybe she’d be reacting differently now if this wasn’t their first argument, the first time they had been anything less than ridiculously cute with each other. She knew one thing for sure, she had only seen Beau angry once before, from afar and that seemed to be over quicker than it had begun.

She should’ve just loaded the dishes into the dishwasher and gone to bed, then she could at least pretend to be asleep after a few minutes, but she knew she’d just lie there agitated if she did and somehow, cleaning soothed her. Feeling his hands on her elbows, Beth’s hands slowed and she slowly placed the plate back down in the sink. “I know I overreacted, I know I did and it’s not an excuse Beau, but I am all over the place right now. I cried over a mattress commercial the other day, I lost it for a split second and I text you and I’m sorry for that, but this isn’t easy for me either.” Shaking her head, Beth, not being able to help herself, finished off the last dish in the sink before drying her hands off. “You’re not a doormat, Beau and I don’t want you to be, I don’t want you to just let me yell at you.” Turning slowly, the blonde looked at him. “Would you have wanted to drink tonight if we hadn’t have had that argument? Did you call your sponsor?”

Sure, one might be able to say there was a tiny bit of envy on Samuel’s end of things. For his baby sister to be well on her way to a second child, in a fulfilling relationship with the man she loved, meanwhile Sammy was, well, where he was. Not that he wasn’t happy, of course, but it did put into perspective that he still wasn’t anywhere close to having the family unit he’d always envied in others. But that would never overpower just how pleased he was that Beth was happy, and more than that, that she had a partner who was going to stick by her. “You’re right. A lot of things are different, now.” Sam agreed with a softened look. It was sort of incredible to witness just how much Beth had grown, into a wonderful mother, a loving partner, the sort of person he was able to lean on for anything he’d ever needed. There was no reason to doubt that this was an entirely different situation.

“Well that’s because there’s nothing negative to say about Tessa,” Sam joked, knowing that he’d been more than his fair share of overprotective where Beth and Beau had been concerned. “Well, he’s the father of my niece or nephew now. So he’s family.” He’d state definitively. Sammy then released Beth, reaching back down to pick up the sonogram once more. “I always sort of thought the next baby in this family would be mine.” Being an uncle was fulfilling, certainly, the best role he’d had in his life thus far, but being a parent? It was one of those things Sam had always yearned to be. “It would be nice if Ellie and this little thing could have cousins in the same decade of life, don’t you think?” He’d then look over at Beth with a wry grin. “I’ll just have to renegotiate the terms of Penelope and I’s relationship.”

It was no secret that Beth had grown up over the last six years, she’d had to after all. She was more independent, she rarely asked for help and finally felt like she had her life together, like she had everything she had ever wanted in life. She had seen it with her parents, her father in particular, but she had seen it with her siblings as well, that not all of them were ready to let go of the baby of the family. “I love you, Sam, you know I do, you’re my big brother, you’re my best friend, but I’m okay, you don’t need to worry about me so much.” She had been naive growing up, she’d been hurt in her early twenties, but it was because of the love and support of her family, specifically her brother, that she could stand proudly on her own two feet.

“Don’t start. If you can have reservations about Beau when he’s done nothing wrong, I can maintain how I feel about that entire situation.” Beth simply watched as Sam picked up the picture of the sonogram again, a small smile tugging at her lips. “I did think you’d have made me an Auntie by now, but Sam, there’s no timeline to this. You’re going to be an amazing father one day and when that day comes, it’ll be the right time. It’s going to happen for you one day because if you’re even half as good of a dad as you are an uncle, that is going to be one lucky baby.” Nodding, Beth reached up to rest her hand on his shoulder. “It would, but if they don’t, then so be it. But on the bright side, we both know the girls aren’t anywhere close to the baby place, so at least you’ll be the third grandchild, right?”

Sean couldn’t help but laugh at Beth’s reply, feeling the same light and ease he always did in her company. “And there I was, just not wantin’ to go alone. I think you had the better reason, but we both ended up winnin’, in the end.” Even if this was the last Prom Sean attended (and he was loath to say anything so definitive when he was finally learning to accept that curve balls were only for the best,) attending Prom with Beth all those years ago had secured him a dance wherever they went, he knew; but more importantly, he’d gotten a friend. A friend who he knew like no one else, and who knew him the same way. “Hugely nostalgic,” Sean agreed softly, drawing their linked hands up as he wrapped his arm around her. “And I’m glad the exhaustion’s worth it. Can’t imagine you missin’ this.”

“It’s been a really good night,” Sean confirmed, grinning at the mention of Micah, and how hot she looked – he’d been unable to keep his hands off her, but Beth didn’t need those particular details. “I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun, honestly. Hard not to feel incredibly lucky.” And it wasn’t like he was trying all that hard to deny the feeling, either. “Hey,” he said gently as Beth got choked up. “That’s my god-baby you’re talkin’ ‘bout.” It was a small shift from dancing to a hug, but if there was ever a reason to wrap his arms around her, an emotional Beth was a good one. “C’mere. I feel the same, you know. Wouldn’t trade this for anything. Not any of it.”

It was how their relationship had started after all. For the longest time, they had been friends but it was still much more that she was the best friend of his sister, he was just Sean, then they went to a school dance together. It would never cease to amaze Beth just how far they had come since then and that Sean was as indispensable to her life as Sydney was. “I’d say so, you actually danced with me at both proms and that put me way above the rest of the girls who’s dates just wanted to sneak off to whatever quiet corner they could find.” Not many people got to go to a prom when they were adults, but this was as close to as perfect as it possibly be.

“Well you deserve some fun after everything you’ve been through this year. You’ve got an incredible girl, incredible friends, you’re doing alright over there, Sean.” Being overly emotional was nothing strange to Beth at the moment and even though she was getting used to crying over the smallest thing, she was sure that she’d still be tearing up a little, even without the pregnancy hormones. “Well, it’s not like we could even begin to consider anyone else for godfather, so you know, I’ll take the presumption. Unless Beau told you already.” Wrapping her arms around Sean, Beth reached a hand around to dash the tears from her eyes, dabbing at them to ensure her makeup didn’t smudge. “You’re a very special person, Sean Fitzpatrick. We’re all very lucky to have you in our lives.”

                      “Well, if that’s the case, I praise you for having self control over those hormones and refraining from smacking them upside the head in a fit of rage or jealousy.” She didn’t think she could give herself that much benefit if she ever found herself knocked up. Knowing her personality without the influence of an insane imbalance of pregnancy hormones… no, it wouldn’t be any good. Sophia had to hand it to Beth, though. She was kind of the perfect pregnant woman. She held everything together and was the shining example of every single perfect expecting mother in those magazines that overtook the checking counters. Her cheeks were glowy, her smile was radiant. She looked happy and thrilled for the next chapter in her life and Sophia couldn’t resist digging in further for her friend. “I’d say that’s karma and what you get, but God. If I had a mini me sassing me back? … I feel for you, I really do.” She shook her head and snickered once more when she brought her glass back to her mouth to gulp down, then dropped it back down to the table. “Pickles with peanut butter and honey? I…” She grimaced. “Salty and sweet, sounds appalling, but very much like it would end up on a pregnant lady’s plate. Okay, I’m somewhat less jealous. Just somewhat.” Chewing on her lip, Sophia shrugged. “I mean… sometimes? We’ve talked about it, but it’s yet to be a serious discussion. More like I longingly show him things on Pinterest or joke about how cute my child would be.”

“Once you’ve done it once, it’s not so bad again. Besides, I don’t really drink that much anyway, ever since Beau got sober, I don’t keep it in the house, so apart from the occasional night out or dinner, my tolerance will be through the floor after this one.” Beth had always been one that could hide her real feelings behind a good facade. Although her skin was genuinely glowing, she had been fighting sickness and nausea all day everyday, she was already exhausted, but never was Beth to back down and admit it. She would troop on and just nap on the bathroom floor later. “I never thought I was that bad when I was younger, you know? Then my mom sees Ellie sassing me and just starts laughing, I think she’d agree with you and say it’s karma.” Laughing softly, Beth nodded as she reached for her drink. “Oh my god, I would love to see a little mini Sophia sassing everyone she meets. You two would be a formidable team.” Another quiet laugh sounded from Beth as she took a sip of her drink, taking a second before swallowing, convincing herself that it was going to make her feel wretched. “Trust me, I’m disgusted at myself, the worst bit is that now I’ve told you about it, I kind of want one.” Nodding, Beth looked over at her friend. With Sophia being a good friend of Beth’s and Kevin being one of Beau’s best friends, the blonde couldn’t help but observe from the sidelines and being not so quiet about how cute they were as a couple. “Your child will be insanely cute, that’s obviously true.” Smirking a little, Beth placed her drink on the table. “I mean I’d offer you Ellie, but apparently that’s really bad parenting.”

This was the side of Beau that he’d always been ashamed of. The one that was easily irritated, snap comments and flippant remarks that he’d regret for a long time. There was this blind faith that things would just stay good, that so long as he continued to go to church on Sunday and AA twice a week, he’d never disappoint himself, or others, again. Part of Beau, seeing Beth near tears on his sofa, wanted to just call a detente, climb over and hold her against his chest, but he wasn’t able to negotiate with the greater part of him that wanted the fight.

“Shoot, forgot you didn’t have your own mother to call for that type’uh shit.” Beau replied tersely, hands landing on his hips. “Well when you call my momma when you’re all emotional of course she’s gonna ask if somethin’s wrong, she can sniff trouble a mile away. You know in thirty nine years I’ve never once been scolded? You sure broke that record the first chance you got. Last time I checked our relationship was between the two of us, but thanks for settin’ that straight. I mean, damn, Beth, what do you want me to do, here? What’s gonna make you happy? ‘Cause this is me, okay? You got Mr. Nice Beau, the one that don’t drink and is always sunshiny, but this is me, too. The kind that for the first time in seven months really wanted a fuckin’ drink tonight.”

A despondent sigh left Beau’s lips, finally crumbling beneath the weight of Beth’s evident sorrow. “I know I overreacted too. Jus’ don’t… Don’t cry, alright? I can take all the hormones and the anger and resentment you got, but please don’t cry.”

Beth’s jaw clenched instantly at the mention and dig at her mother and the life they’d been fortunate to live in. Her eyes flashed as she looked at Beau and although she was angry about the comment, somehow, she managed to keep her voice level. “Don’t you dare go there. Do not make a comment about my mom ever, especially not now.” Pulling the sleeves of the hoodie, his, that was far too big for her, over her hands, Beth’s eyes moved back to the now blank television screen, taking a minute to make sure she wasn’t going to fly off the handle like she had earlier. “Would you like me to record calls in future so you know that I didn’t say anything? I asked her how to get colour run out of my clothes, she asked what happened, I said red socks got caught in the wash, she asked if I was alright and my exact answer was ‘Yes, I’m fine, I’ll call you later, Sadie, I just want to get these into soak’, so if you said something to her and she scolded you, don’t blame me, because I didn’t tell her anything.” She hadn’t told anyone, mainly because she was embarrassed that she had been so angry over something so little. “If you can tell me you didn’t vent to anyone today about this, then fine, I’ll take that comment, but somehow I doubt that.” 

Tears filled her eyes instantly as he revealed that he’d wanted to drink, the one comment that truly slashed through her. “Well, great.” Standing from the couch, Beth made her way through to the kitchen, mainly so she had an excuse to keep her back to him as the inevitable tears began to show. “Too dramatic for you?” Turning the tap on, Beth ignored the fact that she could load his plate into the dishwasher and began to run some warm water into the bowl. “What do you want me to do, Beau?” She turned then, shutting the water off. “You just stood there and told me that I made you want to drink, what reaction do you expect to get from me right now? I’m sorry that I’m apparently turning into a raging bitch and if I could help it, I would. You’ve made your point, you don’t want to see me cry? Then go to bed.” She turned again, wiping her cheeks with her sleeves as she slowly set about cleaning his dinner plate.

It was no secret within the four walls of Beau and Beth’s shared home that he was tired of his job. And when the joy it was gone, having to work a double shift and then having to answer an emergency call left him far too tired to deal with a typical Beth problem. Beau was patient, normally, but in a perfect storm of conditions and there wasn’t an atom in the man’s body that was willing to apologize as he huffed through the door late that evening. He was hungry, beyond exhausted, and knew a million things were waiting for him to be done around the house before he could even consider going to bed. Not that he particularly wanted to go to bed, that would mean having to face Beth, but, there she was settled on the couch.

Dropping his duffel in the hall and kicking off his boots, Beau would only gingerly shut the front door as it was directly below Ellie’s bedroom. But beyond that immediate space, he was shutting kitchen cabinets a bit too hard, socked feet falling heavier than usual. It wasn’t as if he was throwing a fit, but, Beau’s usual go-to when in a mood like this was to have a drink. But instead, he’d called his sponsor and gone home responsibly. The lasagna she’d prepped was eaten bitterly, none of the normal joy out of his favorite dish delivered before he left the dishes in the sink (okay, so he was being a little petty), not bothering to pick up after himself in the kitchen she’d clearly cleaned immaculately while he was gone. He wasn’t going to say anything as he made his way towards the stairs, but, the man simply couldn’t help himself. “I honestly can’t believe you had the nerve to complain to my mother.”

It was clear that from the second the door opened, he was in no mood to talk to her. He refrained from slamming the front door but his irritation was clear in how cupboard doors were closed with a little too much force and it was obvious he was doing everything he could to avoid talking to her. She simply sat in silence, her Netflix show now on pause as he ate, ignored her, left his plates in the empty sink instead of the dishwasher and made towards the stairs. Biting down on the side of her cheek to stop herself from crying, Beth simply reached for the remote.

Before she could hit play, he finally spoke to her and for a second, Beth didn’t respond. She had considered venting to Sadie when she had called, something that would’ve been highly inappropriate but also a bit of petty revenge, but she hadn’t, she deliberately didn’t say a word. “Actually, I didn’t. I rang her because I wanted to know if she knew how to get the colour run out of the clothes, I told her some red socks got caught up in the laundry and maybe she could tell by my voice that something had happened. I didn’t tell her anything. But thanks for thinking that I’d do that, nice to know you think so highly of me.”