always bite the hand that feeds you

He had G. I. Stasis, as well as pain in both his ears that we weren't aware of, and he had lost a lot of muscle mass in his hind legs, which the vet there said might be because he had developed a bit of arthritis that bothered him when hopping around. In addition, the vet saw something in his ears, but he moved too much for her to get a good look. She said it could either be a build up of earwax or signs of the tumor he had previously had in his ear returning.

Molly had a vet appointment around 2 months ago to get some crooked teeth filed down, and they didn't notice any of these symptoms so i'm hoping it means they haven't been going on for too long.

After talking with the vet at the emergency clinic, we decided it was kinder to spare him what would have probably been months of medical treatments and appointments. Not to mention the fact that we couldn't have afforded more than a day and a half of it anyway.

My heart is completely shattered. Sorry if this post is really long and uncoordinated, we were at the clinic for over 5 hours yesterday evening and got home at 2am without my best friend, and i haven't even had the chance to mourn him in peace because i had an exam at 9am today, 8 hours after he was put down.

Thank you to everyone who follows this blog, and to everyone who wished molly good luck and gave advice. It means more to me than i can express right now.

I might post some more of him eventually, as there are so many pictures i never got to share, but for now i need to figure out how to process the last 24 hours.

His death was very peaceful and he didn't feel a thing, as they gave him an injection that made him sleep first. He fell asleep in my arms, and i think he must have felt safe because me petting him was the only thing that made him calm down in between all the examinations.

I'm certain we made the right choice in the end, as it was in his best interest, but that doesn't make it feel any better. He's been with me for allost 8 years and the fact that i'll never see him again is completely incomprehensible to me. Sorry again for the long post, i'm incredibly sleep deprived and in no state to plan out a post so i'll just proof read this and hit post.