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I miss you...God i miss you,damnit!

On vacation with family...i miss my friends,my cigarettes, my car, the fun and totally random ass things we did while driving around after school :/

That pivotal moment when you realize that because your graduating a semester early you wont ever see your 2 best friends because you'll all be so busy with work then you'll all graduate and one friend will be moving to Michigan,the other will be staying in Kansas and you want to move to Texas and you all realize that you wont ever see each other again and you all say that you'll always be together and will always be best friends but even as its being said you all know its a lie

I just feel like crawling into a ball and crying,i want to be numb drunk,i want all my problems to be gone if even for some blackout drunk night. I want to be able to wake up with some shirtless guy next to me with liquor on his breath and my lips swollen from kissing all night and the room trashed as i wake up my friends and we sneak out to go clean up before we see our parents...i want that,now...that sense of accomplishment from having fun and fitting in,that feeling that someone if even they were drunker then hell and didn't know my real age thought of me as attractive...