— HOLY / HOLLOW.

—  THE BASICS.

full name: beren demir

preferred name / nicknames: ren

age: 29 years

gender and pronouns: cis woman ; she/her

sexuality: chaotic pansexual

hometown: rochester, ny

current residence: an apartment with @flohastings​ in old town

length of time in eureka: roughly 2 years 

occupation: “aspiring artist” / amateur herbalist / yoga enthusiast / hostess at prune

frequent haunts: electric lettuce, deadly inks, cal’s, yirru ga art gallery

—  THE BACKSTORY.

grew up with an eccentric single mom who could never weave the same story twice about anything let alone the origins and subsequent disappearance of her father. it was a very warm and loving, but equally inconsistent, childhood tbh. she never really knew what was fact vs fiction and her mom, meryem, often preached a set of rules or lifestyle / religious standards one day only to abandon them the next. 

lived on the cusp of wealth but didn’t actually have it. they were ‘adopted’ by the askoys, an older wealthy couple without children of their own, when ren’s mother was pregnant with her aka given permission to live out of the guesthouse on their property for basically free

went all over when she was younger to “soul search” and sort out her life / find her sense of self. basically just bummed around with a bunch of other barely legal adults who ate gas station food and drank expensive booze out of solo cups and just a whole bunch of other nonsense

is approaching that age / stage of life where she’s meant to have her shit together but really doesn’t.

a few years ago some things happened with her ex and ren just packed a bag and up and fucked off across the country again on an aimless road trip. she ended up in eureka mostly on accident but hasn’t left yet

she’s done a lot of stupid things. will probably continue to do a lot of stupid things. what she won’t do, however, is ever finish a painting ever.

— WANTED CONNECTIONS.

Flo: Just tell someone every time you go out on a date

Flo: That'd be me

Flo: Who's the reinforcements?

Ivy: Are you volunteering for the role??

Ivy: Good to know for future reference

Ivy: That, I don't know. Actually, hold on, is your roommmate there?

[ IVY ADDED REN TO THE CHAT. ]

Ivy: I need help writing a tinder bio

Ren: "Your parents will love me but your neighbors won't"

Ren: Although I think that one was Flo's, assuming you switch neighbors to roommates 😉

Benji was glad he hadn’t yet taken a bite out of the burger, for surely he would have choked as Beren questioned why Flo couldn’t know with such vivid counter arguments. “No, nothing happened.” He shook his head, busying himself with unwrapping his lunch, but he knew that Ren was going to be a dog with a bone unless he just told the truth. “I worry about her, okay? And it’s not a great look that I give her roommate a bunch of weed when she’s sober. It’s not a great look that I’m high half the time. I’m just trying to be a little better, y’know? Plus this guy she’s seeing, can only end badly.”

—

Ren’s chewing slowed, then altogether stopped. On one hand, she understood Benji’s concern as an older brother, but—- “It kinda feels like you’re saying just as much about me right now as you are yourself.” The food felt like glue when she finally swallowed; it sat uncomfortably lodged in her throat. “I mean—- you’re selling it but I’m the one bringing it into the apartment, right? The one living with her, always high?” Somewhere in the back of her head she knew he hadn’t meant anything by the confession, yet it still didn’t sit well with Ren - that implication that, by extension, she wasn’t doing good enough by her best friend. 

-

“Have you met me? I can’t just go with my gut, my gut’s having a fucking mid-life crisis as we speak” Dani rambled away but took Ren’s advice despite her own words. Ren had always been so easy-going that Dani couldn’t help but want to be around her in hopes that it’d rub off at least a little. So far, she’d say she had been doing a lot better than the nervous wreck she was when they first met, which gave her hope that change was possible. “There’s always a wrong answer and just because there’s beauty in it doesn’t mean everyone is capable of seeing that beauty. You risk the chance of looking stupid” She grumbled and continued with her painting. Clearly Dani wasn’t a risk taker, but perhaps Ren was. After all, Dani wouldn’t have been herself if she wasn’t at least a little pessimistic. “It’s fine, it’s working. I’m making it work…” She added, now deciding that the red on her canvas would make for a nice rose or heart. Valentine’s day was coming up and surely Scott would appreciate something sentimental, even if she’d veto hanging it up in their apartment for how bad it looked.

Dani’s attention went over to Ren momentarily as she watched her light up a smoke, “So how’s Flo been doing? She seems… happier lately” To which Dani could only guess was because there was an improvement in her love life. “Did you get that stuff from Benji?” she asked. Dani didn’t mind the smell or the act itself, however, it did make her a bit curious and Benji had been saying he’d find something suitable to help her with the insomnia. “And you do the making out and the heavy petting right there at the bar? With everyone looking?” She repeated with a grin since it sounded ridiculous to her. Perhaps she was a little more self conscious than most people since something like that would make her feel embarrassed and insecure more than anything else. “I mean obviously I would be terrified to ask Scott if we could have a threesome with someone, but it’s also because I just don’t have any real interest. I can’t help that I’m a boring monogamous person, okay?” It certainly made her wonder how Scott would take a suggestion like that though. “I just like the idea of having your person, you know? You can do weird crazy shit with them and there’s no judgement or second guessing because they’re only into you and no one else. Plus, I don’t want Scott looking at some other guy or girl, I would probably cry and that’s a total boner killer.” Dani was really only speaking from a committed relationship standpoint, if Ren had asked her when she was single then perhaps she’d have a less concrete answer, “Okay then speaking of –– dream threesome with the people around here, go” she asked, pointing her paint brush in Ren’s direction with a grin to match since at the very least it’d be a fun game to play. 

—

“Risk looking stupid in front of who? Me? My dying houseplants?” Ren gathered her limbs and rose from her perch beside Dani. Instead, she grabbed her own brush, swirled it through emerald green, and then attacked her blank canvas with wild slashes and thick slats of paint. When that didn’t suffice, she got her hands on black next and flat out poured it on. Steady drips fled south to ruin the carpet below. Despite that, she looked back over with untamed amusement in her wide, brown eyes. “Nobody’s here, babe! Nobody cares if you paint like shit or create the next god damn Mona Lisa.” Her sticky fingers clenched onto her shoulders next, and Ren unleashed a laugh. “This isn’t for them. It’s for you. Let loose!” Swirling bare fingertips through Dani’s chosen red she playfully streaked both their cheeks with abstract lines, then trotted off through the living room. “You wanna do the walls?” Fuck the security deposit - the messy carnage of their day would only improve the ancient place. “Or strip naked, paint ourselves, and roll around the floor? I’m down!” Really, it didn’t matter what they did so long as Dani found a way to slam through those mental walls tensed around her like a vice. “I just wanna help you find whatever it is you do want. You're my best friend." Her and Flo both.

Settling down, Ren took another hit off the now crimson flecked blunt until velvety plumes of smoke drifted over their heads. "She's been tangled up in Clay for the last couple of weeks and honestly? I think it's the best thing that could've happened to her. Sex is like... the ultimate release. And all that dopamine firin' off in your brain after an orgasm? Ten times better than any shit on the streets." She'd be the one know. With a new grin slinking across her lips, she mused, "Maybe all you really need is to go home and pounce on Scott. Or, at the very least, take a hit of this. Benji’s a genius.” Her offer standing, whether Dani accepted or not, Ren plunged ahead. “Personally, if I needed extra hands to help me relax, I’d pick you and Flo, but apparently ‘ruining the friendship’ is a thing. So, excluding you guys? Lonely guy I met at the bar and--- Ivy. Or the cute firefighter who keeps rescuing Flo from our homicidal elevator.” Sounded like a fun night, either way. “That’s me, though. I’m not bothered by that sort of thing. If it’s not for you it’s not for you, Dani. I never said it made you boring.” She paused, mulling over the words weighing on her tongue. “It’s just... sometimes you remind me of younger me. And back then I wish someone told that girl that living the life you think you should want, but don’t, isn’t really living at all. Neither is pretending you don’t want things ‘cause your scared of what might happen if you ask."

“Well you know I love gifts!” Benji exclaimed excitedly as he drugged his hands on the glass case that was in front of him. He peeled off his reading glasses, abandoning his inventory clip board in favor of Ren in that very moment. “We can eat in my office, c’mon.” She knew the way, as Benji had endured her haunting his business far too frequently. “Maybe with food he’s got you beat, but you know you’re my favorite company.” Benji teased, shutting his office door behind them so they could have a moment’s privacy (and likely sample some of his new products alongside lunch). “Veggie burger sounds right up my alley.” The blonde promised as he cleared off his cluttered desk top so Beren could set the take out down. “And I’ve been playing around with my purp. Very subtle fruity notes. Might get some grape out of that, if I did it right.” Benji stocked a fresh pen and waved it towards his companion. “Just don’t tell my sister, alright? I don’t need her to know we’re dirtbags together.”

—

Ren immediately got to work, emptying the paper sacks from all three restaurants onto his desk. “I accept the win,” she teased somewhere between his veggie burger sliding across the surface and a bite of soft, grease soaked fries. “I mean, anyone can learn to cook. A personality like mine? Either you’re born with it or you’re outta luck.” Crisp, buttery bread flooded her tastebuds after that, earning a soft moan of delight - rivaled only by the one that came next at his offering. “You’re too good to me,” she gushed while reaching for the pen, “but after my generosity I guess it’s deserved.” It was his final comment she didn’t quite understand, though. “I get she’s in recovery but— why are we hiding my visits from Flo again?” Their friendship - or, more specifically, their shared hobby - wasn’t something she thought they'd keep a secret. “I mean, it’s just weed, right? It’s not like I’m in here to suck you off, Benj.” Besides, a quick smoke hardly scratched the surface of her sins. “Did something happen between you guys I don’t know about?”

-

Florence stood in the kitchen, innocently putting her plates away after breakfast, when she heard Ren shouting from the other side of her bedroom door. “The coast is clear,” she told her friend with a roll of her eyes, although she made a fair point. There had been a lot of sex related accidents lately. Naked encounters in the middle of the night, loud noises coming from Flo’s bedroom. “Well, you’re welcome, because it was good. He left earlier, though. Had to open his shop.” She laughed sarcastically as her best friend and roomie kissed the top of her head and put a cup of coffee in her hand. The blonde joined her on the couch, pulling a blanket on top of her. “Sorry about the noise, we’ll go to his place next time. I actually hate that we kept you up.”

—

“You don’t have to tell me it was good,” Ren announced with a suggestive waggle of brows. “I heard the evidence myself. All night. Several times, in fact.” As prone as she was to give Flo shit about it, though, she really didn’t mind. Earphones were invented for a reason. It didn’t take much to tune out their lusty cries. Besides, one of them ought to be getting some action. She was just happy to see her roommate finally find someone worthwhile. “Clay’s good in my book. The fact that you guys are good together is just icing on the cake.” They’d both gone through their share of hard times, for entirely different reasons. Perhaps this new - whatever it was - would help them heal. “If he ever mentions an equally tall, dark, and sinfully handsome friend, though? You know where I live.” Her laughter sent ripples across the hot coffee just about ready to spill from her mug. “Or a sister with a cute smile and pretty hair. I’ll gladly take either of his hands.”

starter for: anyone! @eureka-starters​ location: delish on 5th in downtown eureka

The chime of the little bell attached to the deli’s door was truly music to June’s ears and the grumbling in her stomach even seemed to stop for a minute out of respect. Rightfully so, considering her cravings for their bread, specifically, were bordering on worship after a full day of daydreaming. God, it really was the simple things in life that made her happy, wasn’t it?

“I’m just now realizing that if I ate regular meals like a normal person, I probably wouldn’t want to devour half this menu right now,” she said to the person next to her, looking over the small print out of the menu she’d snagged from the counter. “Alas, I’m a dumbass who can’t remember to eat lunch at a respectable hour and now I can’t decide between the meatball sub or a club that’s bigger than I am.”

—

Ren stood at the counter, elbows braced against the metal rail, and stared back at June with slow, wide eyed blinks. “I swear to god it’s like I’m having a conversation with my own brain right now... Weird.” A thread of silvery laughter snuck past the seam of her lips. More often than not Ren let herself grow distracted by the silliest of things, usually resulting in a long shift spent between wistful stares at customer plates and the cramp of hunger pangs.  

If anyone understood June’s plight it was her.

“Why not both?” More question that suggestion, she pushed off the counter with a smile hinged upon her lips. “I’m a firm believer in indulgence and ample choice. You know this.” Or so she assumed with how frequently she loitered around Electric Lettuce. “Tell you what—- I’ll throw down for one, you snag the other. We’ll split ‘em up and then you won’t have to choose at all.”

-

Painting was supposed to be therapeutic –– at least that’s what Dani had been told and after some internet searching that led her to an article about an elephant named Karishma who painted lovely drawings in England, she thought ‘if an elephant can find the act relaxing then why can’t I?’ That was what had led her to Ren’s apartment staring at a blank canvas as she tried to picture exactly what she wanted to paint. Even as Ren told her not to overthink it, her reflex kicked in and to no one’s surprise, she was overthinking it. Again. “Sorry…” She apologized just as quickly before shaking her head, “The first color that catches my eye is black but I already know once I start with black I won’t be able to escape it –– I mean it doesn’t mix with any other colors, it just ends up turning everything else black…” She explained and decided that perhaps red would be better. Now with a circle of red on her canvas, Dani was already beginning to feel regretful, “This was a mistake” She muttered under her breath before continuing on despite her worries about ruining the painting altogether. 

Ren’s question seemed to distract her mind from overthinking the painting but had also successfully made her feel a little embarrassed, which was obvious by the slight flush of pink on her cheeks, “How does one have a little bit of a threesome?” She asked with the raise of her brow. Perhaps it was normal for Ren but it certainly hadn’t been for Dani. “But no, I haven’t. I guess I just never really had the desire for it. It’s hard enough finding one person you actually want to have sex with, but two? That’d be a miracle” She added with a grin, only half-joking at this point.

—

“If you’re drawn to black then pick black, Dani. Go with your gut.” Ren glanced over to where she stood with a gentle laugh. “This isn’t a test. There’s no right or wrong answer. And if you decide it’s not working out you get a new canvas and start again.” What she lacked in finished work she made up for in neglected supplies. That much was obvious from the stack of blank canvases shoved to the corner of their living room. She’d get to transforming them - eventually. “Besides, I think there’s beauty in damaged, slightly ruined things. They’re not trying to impress, they just... are.” A shrug tapered off her shoulders while she turned back to her own untouched painting, then she promptly changed her mind.

Ren went to the window and cracked it an inch. As if that small slip of open space would hide the smell of smoke from Flo. Oh well. She fished a blunt out of a wooden box on the bookcase and sparked up. It dangled listlessly from slack lips while she meandered over to perch near Dani on the arm of her couch. “A little bit like... some making out and heavy petting while you’re both drunk at the bar.” She didn’t understand the concept of a conventional, monogamous relationship. Perhaps that’s why she couldn’t rouse a single ounce of outrage when she’d caught her ex between the legs of their neighbor. All it did was make her realize she was bored with his mediocre skills in bed. After taking another hit she prodded, “Is it really no interest? Or are you just scared of what he’d say if you asked? I don’t mean to pry---” even if it seemed like it--- “I just... I dunno. I find your head kinda fascinating.”

“——- I come bearing gifts and expect all the thanks.” Ren breezed in through the front doors like a technicolored tornado - all silk scarves, dry splotches of paint, and bursting takeout bags. “Lunch, because I’m nice.” And also maybe because she hoped a bit of buttering up would make Benji more inclined to shave off a discount by the time she left, too. Alright. Mostly because she hoped he’d shave a discount off her purchase that afternoon. “I realize you have an on site professional chef to see to all your meals, but I’m not Noel, so you get a choice between a veggie burger, Caesar salad, or a half burnt grilled cheese. Except... probably not the grilled cheese because I’ve admittedly already taken a few bites.”

“——- don’t overthink it, okay? She run the brush through the first color that catches your eye and go.” Whether or not Dani agreed, Ren always had the impression she struggled to get out of her own way. That’s where the idea was born. Armed with two blank canvases and a full spectrum of paints she’d set them up in the living room for a night of creative release. Sure, she could say it was for Dani’s sake and Dani’s sake alone but, the truth was, Ren needed this too. Everyone believed she had a whole collection ready to debut but, the truth was, she hadn’t finished a single piece in over a year. A minute of silence passed while she ignored her own advice, then two, before her wandering attention came out to play. “So—- you’ve really never had a threesome?” It’d been on her mind since Winter Fest, though she couldn’t say why. Perhaps just because it’d shocked her so much. “Like, not even a little bit?”

“I’m not looking. Swear to god, I’m not looking.” Ren eased out from behind her bedroom door, blinded by the fly press of a hand over her eyes. Then, directly defying her promise, she cheekily peered between a few fingers. “Damn.” Coast clear. “After enduring last night secondhand I thought I’d at least be treated to a wake up view.” Her lips screwed into an off kilter smirk as she dropped the act altogether and headed straight for the full pot of coffee. “But seriously, Flo. I don’t even need my own sex life after keepin’ up with yours.” Ren delivered a teasing kiss to the top of her best friends head, along with a matching cup of coffee, then folded onto the other side of their couch. “You’ve been so busy I’d be jealous if I didn’t love this for you so much.”

location: serenity spa salon who: open to all

“I swear, there is not enough coffee or cigarettes in the world to get me through the rest of this week. Do you know how many ‘Karen’ haircuts I’ve had to give today alone? Literally, trying to talk them into getting anything else is taxing in itself – but the customer is always right, apparently. Even when they look like they’re about to drive a minivan full of kids to soccer practice and bitch to the ref instead of admitting that their kid sucks.” Letting out a large breath, Simone took another large sip of her cappuccino before returning to the patron in her chair, fussing with their locks. “Anyways, what are we doing today, hon? Something old, something new, something borrowed or – ooh you could let me do something blue? @eureka-starters​

—

Full lips pursed sideways. “To be honest? Its been a bitch of a day. I only came in for the free forty second head massage during the shampoo,” Ren admitted with a low, throaty giggle. When it came to her looks she was notoriously low maintenance. She just didn’t have the requisite memory span or patience for anything that demanded frequent upkeep and hours sat still in a salon chair. Unfortunately, she never could resist the siren song of another ill-advised idea. Thoughtful, mischievous eyes studied her own reflection in the mirror before she impulsively nodded along. “But fuck it. Why not? Maybe a few streaks of moody teal instead of true blue?” For a moment she wished she would’ve taken a picture of that morning’s failed painting before tossing it in the bin. The jagged waves would’ve made the perfect reference point.