Stumptown Stumblin

Marsha P. Johnson

One of the leaders of the LGBT+ movement in America, she was known not only for her strength and bravery as an activist, but also for her boundless generosity. If you complimented an accessory of hers, she’d give it to you.

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Despite the fact that the pandemic is exposing; what we already knew, about how deeply flawed every single fucking system in America is, it’s also shown us that some people have inherent goodness in them as evidenced by the GoFundMe pages being heavily funded, strangers buying groceries or essentials for each other or the man in the short north earlier who was walking around handing out care packs with hand sanitizer, bathroom wipes, and hundred dollar gift cards to Kroger to every homeless person he came across. 

Take that to heart, to the polls and if you have a set of skills that can help people who are currently dealing with a series of shittier and shittier circumstances, please help. 

I’m still looking for work after being laid off due to forced closure of my chef gig but imma do what I can. 

Today I did something that terrified the fuck out of me. But ladies, we all gotta do it at some point. 

I got a contract for fulltime work given to me. 

I looked at it. 

I realized, calculating the amount they wanted to offer, that it would actually be less than I’m making part-time now. 

So what did I do?

Let me tell you, every single piece of me wanted to stay quiet and settle and work my way up the ladder. 

Until I realized that

I am worth more than they were offering, and it would be an insult to value me at any less than my actual worth. 

I have a masters and a year’s worth of teaching under my belt. 

I am a qualified professional who wants to make more than assistants pay. 

Their reasoning for the pay was insurance. I’m given insurance that’s worth a great deal, so I shouldn’t worry too much because that added up to a bigger salary. Except insurance doesn’t do jack shit if I can’t pay for an apartment or car costs or student loans. 

What did I do?

First

I breathed. I took a breath. I washed my face and had a quick cry in the bathroom. Ain’t nothing wrong with a real fast cry. 

Second

I left a note on my bosses desk asking if he could speak to me about my contract whenever he was next available. 

Third

Once in my bosses office, I calmly handed him my contract back and said, “I’m very honored that you thought of me for a position, but I cannot accept what you’re offering me. I have a masters and I’ve taught in this school for a year, and I’d been under the assumption that I’d be receiving a different position than this.” He asked me what I was looking for. I said, “I would work for no less than [MY RANGE]. And if you cannot offer me that, then I’ll have to continue working for you part time until I can find another position elsewhere that can.” I thanked him very much for the offer. I was polite and upfront about my expectations for the position that I wanted. 

I can’t tell you what will happen. But I can tell you that going in there and establishing myself as a no BS worker who looks out for herself and negotiates got me farther than if I’d said nothing. 

I don’t know the outcome yet. I really don’t. 

But I can tell you that he is currently rewriting my contract with higher pay. 

Will it be high enough to keep me there? I don’t know. 

But I do know that today was me putting myself forward and taking a chance, and chances, no matter how small, do pay off. 

Ladies. 

DON’T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK ABOUT YOUR CONTRACTS. 

IT’S FUCKING TERRIFYING. 

BUT DO IT ANYWAY. 

BECAUSE YOU’RE WORTH MORE, AND THEY SHOULD KNOW THAT. 

It’s not easy being my color in this industry, it’s really not, and these conversations are really hard. I don’t talk about a lot of this stuff.

“If I learned anything from Darryl Whitefeather — and I don’t want to come off corny — but, it would be: You can’t love people too much. You can’t love too hard. It doesn’t cost you anything. It really doesn’t. You can just love people and support them and send positive waves their way. And it just makes their life better. It makes your life better.