The Story Of My Life

“He and I have not even brought her up and I never plan to that’s on him if he wants to talk about her. So don’t assume he’s got things up his sleeve, I just would rather have you get out all the feelings you’re feeling.”

“Hard not to assume in this case. I guess I just need to stop thinking too much...which is sort of hard not to now. I’ve been thinking way too much about everything. Ugh.” Addison sighed, completely frustrated about this whole situation, about herself, about everything altogether.

“I don’t know I wish I could answer that for you cause shit that question went through my mind too when I discovered my ex too. As much as I wanted to hate her I couldn’t, but I learned on my own that I could do better and be happier with someone else if not myself. Bet you don’t hear that coming from a guy huh?”

“You know, the way you talk is basically like you are telling me to forget him all together and move on. Do you know something that I don’t? Oh God, he’s with that woman, isn’t he?”

“Look, I just got out of practice and i’m super fuckin’ hungry, okay? Let’s go get some grub so my inner Incredible Hulk will stay at bay.” Tamsin spoke to the other, scrolling through nearby restaurant choices on her phone. “In the mood for anything in particular?”

“Sorry, I’ll try to keep my talking to a minimum next time, then.” Addison cleared out, hands out in surrender as she walked towards the phone, handing it to the blonde. “Not really, you can pick this time, definitely not wanting to awake the Hulk.”

“You’re allowed to feel what you want, but I do feel like you guys should talk before signatures are on a paper. That’s all i’m saying no one is right or wrong shit like this is hard on both people.”

“He cheated, Carter. I just... it’s hard to accept that. Why would someone, who claims to love their significant other, decide to share a bed, or whatever, with another person? How is that considered love? I just... this is making me lose my mind.”

“Because once you let out all the anger and emotion of what you’re feeling I promise you, you will feel better that’s why I feel maybe you should talk to him. Not today or tomorrow, one day cause soon enough you will want that closure before it’s too late. I believe both of you are in the wrong here trust me I know I was wrong when I slammed doors in my ex’s face too, closure is needed even when the two people can’t accept it.” 

“How can you simply let go of the emotion? It’s like you are asking me to stop feeling whenever I’m around him. I’m not saying it’s just anger, it’s just..I feel so much that it’s so hard to realize what I am feeling for sure. Sometimes I hate him, but then I miss him. And there’s this constant fear that I am already losing him... I just...it’s too much.” Addison sighed, brushing off a tear, frowned slightly at Carter. “You’re saying I’m wrong here, why?”

“I think there will always be a part of you that will love him even when you shouldn’t, what he would like is an explanation and not papers thrown in his face. For all we know that girl he hooked up with might be in bed with another man, no offense to her I don’t even know her but you know, you never know what really goes down in someone’s life.” 

“Why does he need an explanation? Why is everyone always so worried about what he would like, what he is feeling instead of just thinking about me for once??? The point is not what the girl is doing or not, Carter. The point is what he did and what... you are his friend, even without wanting, you are picking sides in this.”

Carter nodded taking in a breath thinking about the time he had to listen to his own cheating ex explain herself. That even when he felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest he needed to know how she felt. “Yeah I did and it fucking sucked, but atleast I got that satisfaction of knowing I could move on from my ex Jules. What she did it happened I don’t hate her, I don’t think I ever could. But I know there’s some girl out there for me who won’t be choking on some other dudes dick when she with me.” 

“It’s hard, Carter..so hard. I look him in the face and all I see is the man I love, so much. The man I knew I’d spend the rest of my life with since the first day we met. But then I remember what he has done and all the pain comes and I just...it’s too much. I can’t keep on having those feelings. I can’t be near him. It’s going to break me apart...again.”

“Maybe hear him out, don’t punch me in the face for that, but the guy does need to explain himself even if you don’t wanna hear it. I think you deserve to it’ll help in a fucked up way.”

“I knew you would do this. What is there to explain, Carter? He cheated on me. You just don’t do that to someone you love. Someone you claim to be your soulmate. You just-- you just don’t. --- Did you ever listen?”