The sound of his laughter made her heart swell within her chest and a comforting warmth spread throughout her body. Benji had become a sort of home away from home during their time spent traveling together, building the relationship they shared today. One that, she was happily finding out, could withstand her tumultuous indecisiveness and fear. Her world simply wasnāt her world without him in it and their breakup, a heartache sheād forced upon both of them, had her questioning whether or not sheād have to once again find a new world order. She was, however, overjoyed to realize she didnāt have enough faith in what theyād built, in him. Itād take a lot more than her flighty nature to severe the bonds that tied them together and she was more grateful than sheād ever be able to say for their friendship. For him.Ā āAlways will be, too.ā She smirked, shooting him a playful wink before she began to laugh.
Though she could see the stress in his tensed muscles, she did her best not to overthink it. Despite their promise to stay friends and the way theyād been keeping in touch as they lived their separate lives, things hadnāt gone back to the way they were before theyād entered an official relationship. There was a cloud of uncertainty around her when it came to him now that she didnāt like, and while sheād grown a lot in the last three months she still wasnāt sure she was ready to have the inevitable conversation theyād eventually have to have. After all, you canāt simply admit youāre in love with a man while breaking up with him because you found out youāre still married and not have a conversation about it. But she was happy to put it off for as long as heād like. The implications of that one chat could alter everything, destroy the faƧade theyād built up the last three months, and she wasnāt ready to let that happen. Not yet.
His words had her smile growing and her head shaking, gaze dropping to the floor for a moment as she felt the heat of a blush overtaking her cheeks. Damn it.Ā āOh you caught me, my plan was to show up unannounced, get you drunk and then have my way with you.ā She mused with a teasing roll of her eyes as she opened the bottle of vodka and poured them each a healthy amount into the cups heād brought.Ā āCanāt a girl surprise one of her favorite people without suspicion, hm?ā Nudging him with her elbow gently, the blonde handed him one of the cups and took a drink from her own.Ā āThanks. I had a shower before I came over, itās a wonder what a bar of soap and some shampoo will do, right?ā She joked, though all traces of humor left her features at his words and she had to force herself to lighten her expression.Ā āMoving?ā It was the word she was hung up on after all and she had to clear her throat and take another drink of vodka before she was able to continue.Ā āSorry, wait. Weddings? That sounds fun, you make any brides fall in love with you yet?ā She hoped her tone was light as she skirted around a question sheād wanted to ask him since before her return.Ā āWhere are you headed? Why would it be cancelled?ā And then finally, as she grabbed a container of chicken lo mein and began to make her way over to the couch with it,Ā āMoving like out of this apartment or out of this zip code?āĀ
He wasnāt entirely sure what to do with her presence right now and how he should feel about it. Certainly there was a mixture of emotions and confusions that came with seeing her after so long, partly because he wasnāt sure what was going on in her life as well as he once had. They had been pretty intertwined for a long time but now he wasnāt entirely sure. He didnāt know if sheād gotten divorced or chosen to stay married with the man that she had once chosen to do that with. Hell, they could have been together right now and he would have been any the wiser about it. He didnāt know how he was meant to feel about it. Part of him was happy for her because she looked happy and that was all he wanted for her. As long as she was happy, heād be happy.Ā
Sitting down with her felt good, regardless of the conversation they were both avoiding. Part of him wasnāt sure what he would say or even ask so maybe it was good that they just processed and took in one another after so long of being apart. Today wasnāt the day to open that worm of cans, especially since she had left after dropping a rather large bomb and not leaving him the chance to say much of anything in return. So he was happy to drink and bask in just being the two of them for a little while without any expectation. Lifting the drink to his lips, he smiled and placed his ankle on his knee while he got comfortable. No ulterior motive, he doubted that. Somehow, she always had something hidden up her sleeve.Ā
āOf course not. We can drink and have fun but Iām not so sure that youāre not thinking of ways in which we can cause trouble.ā He said with a laugh before he was bombarded with a bunch of questions that were all valid. He slowly nodded his head.Ā āI havenāt made anyone fall in love with me at any weddings. Just been working hard at them and making some pretty good money and Iāve been looking to move.ā Not cities or towns away.Ā āIām thinking of finding a place in bighorn. Maybe a small house or something. You know with some land that I can do some fires when Iām back in town after my trips. Iām tired of being in a small apartment and crammed inside.ā This long stay at home had made him realize that he wanted to be here more and be outside as well.Ā āSo thatās pretty much where Iām at.ā