oh, what a nightmare! she answered just as euphie would have, in that sweet, darling veracity embellished with the full, warm feeling of care he had so loved dearly. she wasn’t a dream, she said, and she was right, he thought. she was a nightmare, an absolute nightmare.
because there stood his fallen messiah, whose name they spoke of in bitter, hushed tones like curses whispered in the hallowed chapel of his beaten motherland. there she waited, her hair in disarray, clothes held on her body with a hand, the scar of the bullet debauching her once gracious form, memories of a massacre that he had denied on her deathbed. and still, she had come to him, touched his cheek, cried in his arms, asking, asking –
( why aren’t you happy? )
there’s no place left on this earth for us, my princess, he lamented. this world is not so forgiving, this world is not so kind.
and that realization crashed down on him in the worst possible way, despair sinking in his stomach, as did a prideful fool with ersatz wings had once sank to the murky depths of icarian sea.
silent, hot tears streamed down his cheeks, as suzaku turned a little ways to finally face her, a hand against her own as he leaned into her touch, weeping, grieving.
` euphie…’ he sobbed, voice shaking ever so slightly, squeezing her dainty fingers. ` euphie…’
` even if you’re a dream … euphie, can you hear me? i’m sorry … i’m sorry, euphie…’
perhaps, for once, his dreams could be as kind as to let him be a fool for one night.
There it was. What she had been waiting for. The tipping point of HARSHNESS FALLING into a fragile softness; there, underneath his trembling voice she found the Suzaku she knew SHE LOVED. They were both dirtied, BROKEN, & she knew that he had been alone for some time, perhaps a long time & she could not expect to UNDERSTAND the pain of being the ONE LEFT BEHIND, but was it foolish of her to expect they would get through it together, as they always have done? Maybe. She didn’t care. She loved him too much, CARED FOR HIM TOO MUCH. & to see him so miserable was to see that he still needed her as she still needed him. ❛ I’m here. I’m here, Suzaku. ❜ Her lips are A FIERCE TREMBLE, chest an unbearable ache, but she doesn’t let go OF HIS CHEEK where his fingers have clutched desperately onto hers. Rough, calloused, worn, rubbed raw from scars that he carries with him LIKE A BURDEN. A burden she’d willingly carry. ❛ I can hear you. ❜ She laughs, almost hysterical, ❛ I can hear you just fine. Don’t apologize. None of this is your fault, Suzaku. None of this is your fault. It was out of your control. Do you hear me? There is nothing to apologize for. I will always forgive you. ❜
Pressing her toes into the ground to push her forehead LIGHTLY INTO HIS, she sobs quietly. ❛ Thank you for believing me. I don’t want to be strong, I don’t want to be pretend. I missed you so much. Suzaku, I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m sorry that I left you behind. I’m sorry. ❜