Ben Belby

Mary flinched at his outburst. Even if it was warranted, it was never an enjoyable situation to have to be in. “Hated you?” She breathed, her mouth falling open in surprise. She had to take a second to make sure she’d actually heard him right. ”I thought I’d lost you, Ben, but I’d never hate you. Not for a second, despite what you might think. I fucked up and I’m sorry, I don’t know what else I can say to make it any better. You can hate me if you need to, but I needed to at least try to make things right.”

“I wouldn’t have been lost if you just turned me down! I’m not a child!” he said before he realized he had run out of steam. He sighed, looking at the ground and shaking his head. “I don’t... I don’t hate you, Mary,” he assured her in a much different tone than what he was using before. “I just... I think I need a little more time. Like I thought I needed time before, but... I appreciate the apology, I just need time with it, alright?”

“We were,” Mary breathed out softly, a gentle smile on her face. The knot in her gut slowly dissipated as she admitted her feelings and her guilt. “I took it for granted, because I’m well, stupid, apparently.” A soft laugh indicated she was sort-of joking. “I know it’s no excuse, but it all happened really fast and I didn’t think it through like I should have,” she mentally kicked herself, “guess I’m still not really thinking this one through, am I?” 

Her fist knotted against her pants and she bit her lip, wishing the ground would swallow her whole. “You don’t have to forgive me, but I needed to tell you that I’m sorry and I’m a complete moron who probably doesn’t deserve that cake.” 

He had to bite his lip to keep from agreeing with her out loud. As she continued, he pushed himself away from the counter to pace. Ben wasn’t a confrontational person. He didn’t like to complain. But after all this time and now that they were finally talking about this, even when she was apologizing, he had to say something. “I just... I thought you hated me,” he started, feeling the suppressed anger starting to spill out. “I genuinely thought you had to hate me because you picked the one fucking thing that would hurt more than turning me down. Like I expected this shit from Lae, since that’s what he does. He takes what he wants and fuck everyone else, fine, but... shit, Mary, we were friends! I would’ve been fine just getting rejected but then you spat in my face! My brother? Really? Like fuck!”

Ah. There was that hostility that Mary knew all too well. She bit her lip and knotted her hands, guilt-inducing nausea making her stomach swirl. She needed to tell him that she was sorry, that she regretted doing what she’d done to him. That she hadn’t done it intentionally, that it was just a stupid lapse of judgement that she didn’t think through. 

Mary was not someone who would let her pride get in the way of admitting her mistakes. 

“Look, Ben…” She hopped down off the counter and approached him, mindful of the cake on the floor. “I should have said this so long ago but I want you to hear it now.” She took a deep breath and exhaled, doing her best to keep his eye contact. “I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through. You admitted you cared for me and I turned around and did the dumbest thing I could have done.” 

Ben was surprised as she approached. A confrontation this early in the morning? That was the last thing he expected from Mary. When she paused, his mind immediately jumped to the worst possible conclusion. Was she going to tell him off for being stubborn? How else was he supposed to act in this situation? But then she continued and his rough exterior melted ever so slightly. The apology helped, but he still needed more. “Why did you do it?” he asked softly, trying to keep his face neutral; he wasn’t going to get through this conversation if he let his emotions get the best of him so soon. “Like I get not being into me, but... we were friends too.”

Mary’s heart stopped for a fraction of a second when she realized it was Ben standing before her. It’d been so long since she’d turned his advances down, but every time her gaze met his she felt guilt radiate through her. They used to be close and Mary missed their connection, but he’d become so distant and reserved around her that she’d been resigned to just awkward small talk if they ever happened to run into each other. 

“Alright, you’re forgiven,” she said flatly, hopping up to sit on the kitchen counter. Her eyes drifted to the splattered cake on the floor and she pressed her lips together in annoyance, before turning her attention back to Ben. Despite their tense relationship, it didn’t look like he was intent on leaving that very second and Mary took the opportunity to speak. She considered clearing the air, but he didn’t seem in the mood for deep conversation. So instead, she opted for the usual awkward small talk. “How’ve you been?” She asked, leaning her head back against the kitchen wall while she awaited his response.

Ben liked to think he handled rejection well, or at least decently. If she had simply turned him down, he would’ve been over it by now and they would’ve gone back to being the good friends they were before.

But then she had to go and fuck his brother.

He grabbed a roll and took a bite, getting ready to leave before she asked him a question. If he were being honest, he’d been great, but if he explained the reasons, then she might think he had forgiven her. But he hadn’t. Just because he was... sort of seeing someone didn’t mean what she did/was currently doing didn’t hurt. “Fine,” he answered, leaning against a counter on the opposite side of the kitchen. Her cake had fallen, she had less of a reason to be in the kitchens now than he did.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Violence outside of the pitch, he just doesn’t have the stomach for it. And bananas.

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

“No, that’s- Yeah, that’s really good!” He wondered if this was some sort of off-limits information for that gossip column Lockhart ran, or if the younger Ravenclaw would go ahead and add it to everything he wrote. As long as Ben was fine with whatever happens. “Everything’s coming up Belby, look at you! You need to pass me some of that good luck.”

Ben had a cheeky smile on his face before shrugging. “Would if I could, man,” he said before his expression changed. “Wait, not like you have bad luck right now, though, right? You need the luck for anything specific or just in general?”

The smile on Ben’s face was contagious, and Fab couldn’t help but grin while listening. “So that truth serum actually did some good? Look at that. Good for you, mate.” he pat Ben on the shoulder, “I know it just happened, but what now? Are you… together? Was it a one time thing? Are you Hogwarts newest it couple, putting Black and whichever Lestrange she’s with to shame?”

“I was surprised too,” he said, trying not to beam at his friend’s congratulations. He then outright chuckled and shook his head. “He just said he wants to see where this goes,’ he explained with a shrug. “Honestly, that’s fine with me. It’s a shot, you know? It’s more than I had before.”

“Ohhh. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Phew.” he feigned wiping sweat from his brow. “Okay, alright, sorry.” Fabian raised his hands in quick surrender, well aware of his own ability to be an annoying shit sometimes (more than sometimes, if he wanted to get perfectly honest with himself). “I’m just pulling your leg, mate, swear I’m happy for you! Just didn’t realize you fancied him, is all.”

“I don’t think anyone but my brothers did, to be honest,” he said, reaching up to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. The memory of last night was putting his smile back on his face. “So he basically outright asked me if I liked him, and I couldn’t lie because of the fucking serum, and... then he just kissed me, out of nowhere.” Merlin, even saying it brought butterflies back to his stomach.

“Where does Lovegood come into this? You didn’t snog him at some point?” Fabian would’ve bet money that Egeus had mentioned Xeno at one point or another, and his mind had fabricated every possible situation before he was able to speak to Ben. Mostly situations involving snogging. “Gilderoy? What is it with everyone’s tastes in men lately?” He didn’t dislike Lockhart, the guy was generally fun to be around and he had never done anything to wrong Fabian, but he never thought to imagine him with Ben. “Okay, well, then what? Did you run off into the sunset together? Do I need to go hit him? Judging by your dumb smile I don’t think so, but I need more information than that!”

“Lovegood helped El get back to Slytherin since she could barely walk,” he explained. “I most certainly didn’t snog him.” He then rolled his eyes. “Glad to have your support, mate,” he said sarcastically. He then arched an eyebrow. “Well, if you’re going to be a judgemental prick about it, I won’t share.” Ben was probably going to share in a second, but his comment about Gilderoy did hurt a bit; Ben just said he fancied him, why insult him and rain on his parade?

Vulnerable wasn’t something Gilderoy was used to. It was much easier to put on a face and act but he couldn’t. The truth serum had him become more honest than he cared to be. But there was relief in the acceptance. He found himself smiling at Ben’s words, happy as he felt for once in his life he was perhaps going to have something normal. Ben was normal. Boring at times but that was what made him normal. Though clearly if he liked Gilderoy he couldn’t be completely right in the head.

And it was that kind of thinking he needed to stop himself from doing. 

His eyes followed Ben as he approached, hands soon on his hips. While he was inexperienced in such things, he felt comfortable with the lion. “You can,” he muttered, looking from his eyes to the boy’s lips. Yes, he definitely wanted to kiss Benedick again. And again. And again. It was funny how not even twenty-four hours ago he would never blink an eye towards the youngest Belby. And now he stood in front of him, longing for his lips on his. It was kind of crazy how the last few hours had been. 

Nervous fingers gently hold onto the other’s arms, grounding himself in this space filled with air and Ben. His heart fluttered as the lion leaned in and soon his lips were moving against Ben’s, this time slower, taking in the moment instead of feeling rushed into it. 

Ben had honestly thought this would never happen. He thought his crush on Gilderoy was as unlikely as crushing on a celebrity, especially when the Ravenclaw’s crush on Elijah was such common knowledge. Now? He was still in a bit of disbelief, but he was enjoying every second of this. The anticipation, the little glance Gilderoy made to his lips, the touch of his hands on Ben’s arms, everything just felt right as he leaned in and kissed him.

This one felt different than the first two. Right now, his heart just felt so full. Ben wasn’t stupid, he knew Gilderoy hadn’t said he liked him back, but he was giving Ben a chance to change that. If there was no chance, Gilderoy probably wouldn’t have kissed him, or at least Ben hoped. Still, for now, he just focused on how soft and warm the blonde’s lips were and how much he loved just being alone with Gilderoy and didn’t want it to stop.

“You’ll be fine,” he rolled his eyes. “Maybe you should follow lead and find someone to make out with for once. You can stand to have a little bit more fun.” 

“I’m not interested in some messy meaningless snogging like some people,” he said, sending an eyebrow wiggle his brother’s way. “I can have fun without it.”

“Right, right..” He muttered, his thoughts already clouding his mind. He knew of the truth serum. It had effected all if not most. There would be nothing to gain by liking him so this was perhaps all genuine on Ben’s side. It was something that brought some comfort to Gilderoy, who began to walk again. 

It wasn’t until they were in Ben’s dorm room that Gilderoy spoke again. Things had to be said in order for him to feel comfortable about all of this. Between his inexperience and lack of known expectations from this, he knew it would bug him if he didn’t say something. 

Once the door was closed, the Claw let go of the other’s hand and met Ben’s confused expression with a slight smile. “I don’t know what this is. I like kissing you. That’s all I know… And I wanted you to know the truth because at least right now you know my words are honest.” He bit his lip. “But uh .. I would like to see where this goes, if you want to that is.” 

Ben smiled as he lead Gilderoy up the stairs, slowly opening the door and looking around to see if any of his roommates were awake. Most of them were gone, but Dirk was sitting on his bed. Ben shot him a bit of a pleading look before the other boy left. Ben made a mental note to thank him and owe him something later.

He let out a little exhalation of air in a slight chuckle. “I like kissing you too,” he said before he bit both of his lips into a line, trying to keep his smile from getting too big. “I’d love that,” he admitted, letting out a soft almost disbelieving chuckle before repeating “I’d really love that.” He took a step forward, placing his hands on the other boy’s hips before asking “Can I kiss you again?” Maybe it was a bit annoying to ask, but Gilderoy had this nervous expression on his face before that made Ben want to double check; he’d rather be certain than make the Ravenclaw uncomfortable.

“Duh,” he replied, rolling his eyes. While Egeus might try to kick him out, Laertes had absolutely no plans on going anywhere. Which happened every time his twin threw a party. It took him a moment to realize that Benedick was trying to conversate and he sighed. “Are you going too?” 

“Haven’t decided yet,” he admitted, his brother’s tone and eye roll not phasing him; he’d been expecting it, anyway. “The last one I went to, I couldn’t walk across the room without accidentally bumping into like four couples snogging in the middle of the dance floor.” He then closed his eyes, shutting out the memory. “And you were in one of them.”