Stronger Today

I train to be strong, healthy, the best version of myself physically and mentally. Now, when I say physically, I mean pushing my body to its limits. I wanna see how strong my body can be and what it can do. However I look at the end of the day is what it is because I'm done worrying so much about what I look like instead of what I am capable of. I want to feel strong, I want to feel confident and if my body looks strong and sexy then hey, that's a plus! But I don't want it to be a priority anymore.

Me and my boyfriend of two years broke up last night.

It hurts both of us. Nobody did anything wrong. I felt, for a while, that I needed to change. I need to be happy and do it on my own and not get help from someone else.

Depression is a huge problem that I have. It brings ridiculous insecurities and brings down others around me.

I love, Tyler. I love him so much, and I would've absolutely loved it if love was enough to be together but for us, it wasn't.

I'm sad today. My eyes are swollen. I'm listeinging to Led Zeppelin to try to calm down. I keep thinking about him. I keep looking at pictures of us from the past two years. I'll never love anyone like I loved, Tyler. I'll never have a relationship with someone like I did with him.

Of course after you lose someone, you think of the good things. I can't forget the reasons why it wasn't working. I tried to make things better but sometimes you can be in love with someone but not be happy. Sometimes you can love someone and not be meant to stay with them forever.

My relationship with Tyler has opened my eyes to many things, I've learned so much about myself and life. He's opened new doors for me to explore and has given me memories that I will never forget. So, even though it's the end. I know I'm also starting a new beginning for myself.

I haven't been single for a long, long time. Probably since high school. I'm ready to put myself first for once, to love myself unconditionally and to explore my interests and feelings.