Beloved Insignificance

It’s crazy, isn’t it, how someone can change your life on so many levels. Be a part of it for so long. Be a part of it even when they are gone. Ruin it in many ways, but make it in others. It leaves you confused as to why you still care. How can you still care, still think, still feel, for someone who hurt you more than you’ve ever been hurt before. And hopefully, will ever be hurt again. But it’s not just them you lose. Somehow, you lose your best friend, even though they were never behaved like a best friend. You lose a second family, because their family were the only sanity you actually gained from the whole experience, but of course, you still lost them as well. You’re angry. You’re confused. But somehow, they’re fine. They put all of this on you. You’re not fine. You probably won’t be for a long time. But they can move on. How. How is it that someone who made you so utterly not okay... can just, be, okay.