l a t i b u l e

fuck it [decomposes]

What, do you hate music?

eating sheet music as we speak

I need this.

Reblogged last year, hoping it comes this year

There’s a woman who comes into my gym regularly who’s like this. There’s a liquor store close by and she always comes in with a bottle of wine from there, works out and then goes home and drinks it. She jokes about it but like…I see her about 4 days a week so like she’s downing an entire bottle of wine in the evening at least 4 times a week. Is that not alcoholism?

Time to link this incredible fucking article again.

holy shit that article was so fucking good

The other day I politely returned the question “how are you doing?” at a driver who asked the same of me, and he replied “oh, you know, same soup just reheated” and I can’t stop thinking about that

hozier songs are like *blows kiss to the forest* that's for my baby *throws molotov cocktail at car* AND THAT'S FOR THE REVOLUTION

None of you ever think to thank the giant woman twerking to make the wave pool work and it shows

You mean the moon???

i hate airpods dude id rather be broke than have two lil tiny things to keep track of. “oh there’s like a carrier” muh muh muh like i’ll remember the carrier when im barreling out of my door with the bus coming in 2 minutes. an airpod falls out and falls into a storm drain. i fling my head around to watch it fall and the other one flies out into the street and my bus crushes it. i scream in agony and run up to it and the bus just barrels straight over me bc bus drivers in chicago have 3 kill allowances a year

This is gonna sound fucked up but i love tight grapes. You know what I mean when the grape is nice and tight and ur incisors pierce thru them like needles popping a balloon

surface tension is literally the most important quality of a grape end of discussion

*God 🙏🏿💕

feminism never taught me to hate men but it did help me realize that i shouldn’t prioritize them over women & it turns out that alot of men consider that to be hatred lmao.

So if you were in a room with two prisoners; a man and a woman, you’d never met, and the gender neutral soldier with the big gun told you to kill one of them, you’d automatically shoot the man?

tag yourselves I’m the gender neutral soldier

i cannot tell you how many times this EXACT situation has happened to me

*new yorker voice* ey! im spiralling here!

*new yorker voice* im fallin apart! badabing badaboom!

being in class is like *copies words off the board without understanding any of them* *drinks water* *looks at phone* *doesn't know what's going on* *zones out* *realizes 20 minutes have passed* *gets annoyed at people talking* *looks at phone* *drinks water*

My friend told me a version of this once, which was: if a teacher graded students by what they knew at the beginning of the class vs. what they knew by the end, we’d rightly consider that an unfair teacher. When people are learning, we likewise can’t constantly judge them by what they knew before they started to learn.