Sometimes, I forget that I have this site and I feel this sense of dread that any of the little things that I say or do on here will get found out by someone who I don't want knowing my most inner thoughts. Like someone could actively figure out that I am on my campus and posting about a guy I crave so viscerally and intimately, or that I am so bored out of my mind that I would sleep instead of wasting my phone battery, or that I would rather cut out my tongue than admit to my mother that she is right. It's all of these raw feelings and opinions that I have and that I don't mind sharing out to a void filled with strangers staring into the same hellhole that I have to remember, that maybe someone out there knows it's me and across the vastness of the internet, they will recognize it is I who thinks this way and writes about the things I do and loves in a way that is too real because they know me. And I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm afraid being known or being someone in a nowhere place will make me a no-one in the very real places that I exist in.
