B E L A

So I see a lot of studyblr tips on good study techniques and that’s great! they are tried and tested ways of getting information into your brain, without making you hate yourself and the subject you study. But what if it’s too late? what if you put off revising for too long because your demon brain wouldn’t let you focus? what if you missed a load of class for whatever reason and are really far behind and trying to catch up and it’s all too much at once and you have an exam tomorrow oH GOD? or what if your deadlines just crept up on you like little ghosties in the night? whatever your reasons for doing last minute intense studying, here’s how to do it without dying.

1) HOP TO IT: even as i write this I am putting off studying for an exam tomorrow morning. I have not studied enough for it. I need to do so much work. I am not I am here. someone tell me to stop. please. this is half advice half a callout post to myself but please for the love of all things holy you need to stop procrastinating RIGHT THE FUCK NOW and prioritise. Do a past paper. find the stuff you don’t understand and get going. your exam is tomorrow, but if you start now it’s not too late.

2) TAKE BREAKS: everyone will tell you this, but here’s where what I will tell you differs: don’t schedule them in, don’t set yourself a routine. work until you run out of focus and motivation and then take a walk. go talk to a friend. eat something.

A really effective way of regulating your time I find to be use water. I fill up a 750ml bottle of water, which i sip as I study. I then have o take regular breaks as I either run out of water and have to get up and refill my bottle, or i have to pee. Either way i have to get up and walk around and go to a different room. It has the added bonus of giving me breaks with a very defined finite time, with limited opportunity to get distracted and end up wasting lots of time. It also has the added bonus of helping me…

4) STAY HYDRATED. please. just trust me it really makes a difference. you could be running on 20mins of sleep for all i care but if you’re hydrated you will feel so much better. and while we’re talking about this, please try and avoid caffeine as much as you can. and definitely no alcohol or drugs. but please don’t have too much caffeine. it won’t help i promise. it’s so tempting but it’s also really temporary and then you just end up having more and more and suddenly you’re trying to sit an exam and your hands are shaking and your eyes are blurry and you really need to shit. it’s not a great feeling.

5) EAT FULL MEALS (and try not to snack): it’s very difficult when you’re in the throes of studying but eating full hot meals at regular times will help keep you sane. snacking is great, but try to maintain regular eating patterns and  balanced diet as much as possible. buddy up with friends/flatmates/etc to set up a rota (more on this later). but try and have a proper hot meal at least once a day.

6) TAKE ADVANTAGE OF EVERYONE: have smart friends? study with them. ask your teachers/professors/lecturers/tutors/other academic staff EVEN ONES YOU HAVEN’T MET. Make use of every textbook/youtube channel/website/etc that you can access. trust me.

7) COMBINE POINTS 5 AND 6: set up a study group. meet in the afternoon. spend a few hours working. each of you brings an ingredient for a simple meal. you all cook and eat together. after eating, do a little more studying/watch a film/tv show. this will get you to a different place, help focus you, help you answer any questions you have and also makes sure you get fed and have some social time.

8) ON THE TOPIC OF ALL NIGHTERS: I will not tell you not to pull them. it would be hypocritical of me. we all do it. but here’s how to do it and survive. Eat and stay hydrated. avoid caffiene. never more than one in a row, never more than two in a week. NOT THE NIGHT BEFORE AN EXAM, OR EVEN THE NIGHT BEFORE THAT. if your exam is on monday, you should get a full night’s sleep on sunday night and on saturday night. you do not wan to be tired in an exam. avoid all nighters at all costs. THEY ARE A LAST RESORT.

-Refrain from doing them too often or else you will end up messing up your sleep schedule.

-but if you have to, make sure to have water.

-hydrate. Hydrate. HYDRATE. keeping hydrated will keep you mind from dosing off. A cold drink is the best thing.

-Caffiene is nice, but make sure it's in small amounts distanced a decent ways apart, if you drink too much at once- you will crash.

-Eat. I know that after a night like that, you might not really want to, but eating will force your brain to focus, even if it's just on not choking.

-Get involved with school, paying attention and getting involved will force your brain to wake up

-be ready for a nap when you get home. Your body won't let you stay awake multiple days in a row with no sleep at all

-draw, doodle, if you don't want to do the stuff your school wants that is.

-DON'T DRESS WARM. Dressing warm will make you sleepy, as a warmer temp tricks your brain. Dress as cold as you can without making you uncomfortable or trying to kill yourself in your environment.

-dont drink warm either (see last one)

-move around. Walk quicker between classes, actually put some work in at gym class, tap your feet and annoy tf out of your teachers: all of it will keep you a bit more awake.

-dont try too much though, like don't get yourself into fights. It's going to exhaust your body even more and you don't want to push yourself far enough to crash

-despite most advice, DONT go to sleep on busses or during breaks. Waking up will make you cranky and will encourage your body to mess up your sleep schedule more.

-Try not to get angry with people: yeah, they are much more annoying now. Ungodly annoying voices yelling stupid shit on your early morning bus- but getting mad at them will only make it worse for you and the stress will give you a worse headache then they would.

-Speaking of headache, take some painkillers before you leave home. (I wouldn't recommend taking them to school bc most schools have rules against even over-the-counter painkillers and I am not responsible for your dumb decisions if you bring them and get in trouble. )

3.8.21

it took me a really long time to realize it's a bastardization of good advice.

many of us are recovering from being raised by parents/caregivers that were in toxic relationships or were toxic themselves. we learned behaviors, thoughts, and patterns from these people, and we spend our adult lives untangling and dismantling the harm done to us.

the advice should be - is this the person you'd want a child to emulate? is this a person you'd want a child even around? is this a person you can trust alone with a kid - any kid, mind you - and know that the child is safe, looked after, loved? is the relationship you're in one you'd want children to see and repeat in their adult lives? or is the relationship one you hope they won't follow, after all?

to be honest, i knew when i was in a bad relationship. i'd tell people - i know, i know, i should break up with him. i know, i know. she's not actually a good friend. but the reality was that it's incredibly difficult to escape the-devil-you-know. it was easy enough to train myself to be okay with it; i have very little regard for the-self and the process of cutting people out was simply too threatening for my mental state.

but i wouldn't put a younger version of myself through the same thing. i'd picture her in the same situation. i would tell her, broody as she is - leave, you're happier outside of it, never let anyone talk to you like that, you're worth more than this. i'd tell her when you let him cross your boundaries, the fault is his, but you need to understand you're rewarding bad behavior if you don't do something about it. i would wish, fervently, i could restart the relationship and do it all differently, be-young-again.

and then i realized: i am the younger version of myself. a future version of myself is begging me to leave. to take my happiness seriously. i am a kid to fifty-year-old-me. and i need to take my own advice. it's okay if that sets me up to grieve.

balancing self care and studies

make sure to get enough sleep - all nighters are NOT good for maximum brainpower, trust me. try to make a routine of what time to sleep and wake, as it helps you to feel refreshed during the mornings.

water! at first i hated drinking so much water because it felt like a chore. so, instead i used one of those big two litre diet coke bottles. it means that i can fill it once and then use it all day, without having to keep getting up. remember, your body can only absorb so much at a time, so small sips!

if it gets to the point where your brain is shutting down and you simply cannot think anymore - then don't. pushing yourself overworks you and ultimately means you're not learning/studying as effectively. try taking a small break, fifteen minutes without your phone, just move your legs, give your brain a rest. if you return and still cannot work, take a longer break or even stop for the rest of the night. you need breaks!

allow yourself some pampering. it doesn't have to be much, but washing your face can make the world of difference. cold showers are refreshing, warm ones are more relaxing. to each their own.

make sure you're living life outside of your studies. sure, for now it may seem like it's everything, but neglecting your mental health is even worse. please take care of yourself.

do some exercise! yes, yes, i know. but even ten minutes of some stretches can do you the world of good. make sure you give your body some work, especially after longer study periods. try not to over do it though - sometimes people do longer workouts, which although aren't inherently bad, it can make exercising feel like a chore.

Small smiles, clasped hands, and batted eyes gain us capital. We’re rewarded. We are allowed a snack or extra time outside if we agree to hug our caretakers. Our parents promise us dessert if we allow the great aunt to kiss us on the cheek. We begin to learn. And we grow a little and then it’s touching a male classmate on the elbow to convince him to help you on a question instead of ignore you, or making downcast eyes at a male teacher to ask sweetly for the bathroom pass so you’re more likely to have your bodily functions believed.

Then we age more and it’s low cut shirts so the cashier at the theater doesn’t check to see if you’re 17, and doing sex acts with your first boyfriend before you’re ready because you know if you don’t some other girl will and you know the more you do the longer he’ll stay.

It’s seeing TV shows and movies where the female spy/superhero/Jane Doe has to seduce the villain for information/entry/survival. It’s seeing TV shows and movies where if the man pursues you long enough/the hero saves your life/the outcast proves his worth then he deserves a kiss/taken to the bedroom/your hand in marriage. It’s the good and the bad guys having access to female bodies, your body, for different reasons. Its learning that you can use your female form to reward or deny, like it’s a sweet treat and not the thing you reside in, you yourself.