We'll go down in history together.

I purposefully avoid looking at Jason, because I know that his emotions are stronger than mine. Finally the dance ended and I made a run for it, sneaking to the bar when everyone was distracted.

“Can I please have Tequila on the rocks?” I ask with a sweet smile to the young bartender hoping that he wouldn’t question my intensity. He smiles with a nod as he turns to make my drink.

“On the rocks, eh ?” I hear a familiar voice ask as he laughs at me. I turn my body away from the bar and towards Shawn. Of course, he looks like a God damn model. His suit fits him like a glove and accents every inch of his body the exact way that it should. I’m staring, and he knows it. My eyes finally make their way up to his, finding a cocky smile a long the way.

“Oh yes. On the rocks. If it was acceptable I would be chugging it from the bottle,” I clarified with a sigh, turning back towards the bartender as he awkwardly glares at Shawn for ruining his opportunity to flirt. I pick up the glass chugging it as gracefully as possible, I feel Shawn’s stare as I do. I turn around to figure out what’s happening in this shit show now. The wedding was in full swing now. Most of the guest were on the dance floor, or waiting in line for the photo-booth. I see Jason sitting at a table full of girls, his famous flirty smile was gracing his face. I laughed to myself as I realize I’m no longer needed here.

I turn to Shawn quickly, shooting him a suspicious smile, “You wanna get out of here?”

My heart starts to pound as I watch the blood rush to his face. He quickly looks around like I did moments before. He notes that Jason is extremely occupied, he raises his eyebrows at me before taking my hand as we run out of the Hall trying our hardest not to get noticed. Outside of the venue was a gorgeous lake with a white Gazebo to the side of it. String lights wrapped around the framework, reflecting onto the lake. Once we were out of sight from the Hall, we slowed down and walked silently  to the Gazebo. Once we got there it was peaceful, we found a bench that fit both of us perfectly.

“Is everything okay?” he murmured softly. I turn to him, finally taking in his features. I felt like every day the way I viewed him changed a little more. Every day I got farther and farther away from seeing him as a close friend, and closer to needing him to be more.

“I don’t know. I think so.” I giggle deliriously, I truly didn’t know how I was feeling. “I’m… kind of mad,” I purse my lips as I attempt to sort my emotions verbally. “Like, how can you just pretend to love someone. I know she doesn’t love him. I hate that. I hate that I have to watch him give everything to this woman who is god awful.” I cringed as I spoke.

“Well, not that you don’t already know this, but your dad is kind of an idiot.” He laughed, making me laugh too.

“Oh my God. So dumb,” I laugh thinking about all of the things that he’s done wrong in my life. I loved my Dad, but his kids were never his first priority. “It also makes me sad that he thinks she loves him. She doesn’t love him, my mom did though. My mom still does.” I confess as my head falls thinking about how heartbroken she was when my dad gave up on them.

Shawn pulls me close to him, his arm wrapping around my back pulling me in tight. His chin rest on top of my head, and his hand finds mine. His fingers intertwine with mine and just like that, I feel at peace.

I sigh before whispering, “My Dad has never been the best, but he deserves to be loved. We all do.”

I hear him sigh, then I hear his heart beat start to quicken. I slowly look up as his hand comes up to my jaw. His eyes flick down to my lips then back to my mouth, and I’m sure he can feel me shaking. His hand slides behind my head pulling me closer to him, then his lips are on mine. Slow and soft at first, then he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me on top of his lap. We pull apart to breath, with his forehead resting against mine. His lips are full and red and I smile knowing mine look the same way. He smiles back before tucking my hair behind my ear, then pulling me back in for more. This time more aggressive. It felt needier as his tongue swiped over my bottom lip. I pulled back, taking a deep breath. Holy fucking shit, he kissed me.

I repositioned myself on his lap, so that I could see his face better, I bit my lip as I watched a nervous smile start to form, “Wow.” I muttered breathlessly.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile now, I guess.” He confesses as he presses his lips together into a fine line.

I nod, still speechless from what was happening. The Tequila was helping me not to freak out, as a matter of fact, it was making me want to do more.

“I’m really glad you did.”

I start to feel the vibrating in his pocket, I stand up so that he can reach his phone. My eyes widen as I see Jason’s name lighting up the screen. We both quickly look around in panic wondering if he had seen us. Shawn hits the green button connecting their calls, and tells him that he’s in the Jeep and will be back inside shortly. A felt a pang in my chest as he lied about where he was. Of course he had to lie, but for some reason it still hurt. It was just a reminder that whatever Shawn and I did have, was much more complicated than I wanted it to be. Shawn stands up telling me that Jason was looking for him, he was drunk and needed a ride home. We started to walk back to the Hall, once again in silence. I want to say something to make sure that moment wasn’t lost in time, but I didn’t have the words. Just as I was about to say whatever came to my mind, I feel Shawn’s fingers lacing with mine. I look to the side to see him smiling, his eyes crinkling at the corners. It was his way of telling me that his moment was far from over. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The wedding ended, finally. After telling my Dad and his new wife goodbye, and pretending to be oh so happy for the both of them, we gathered a far too drunken Jason and took him home. I sat in the back seat of the Jeep, while Shawn drove and Jason sat in the passenger seat. Jason kept putting the radio on full blast so he could sing obnoxiously to whatever was playing. I laughed to myself watching Shawn interact with his best friend, he would sing loudly with him to make him happy. It was a relationship I had always admired. I didn’t realize I was gawking at the curly headed boy until I met his eyes in the rearview mirror. I could tell he was smiling at me by the way the corners of his eyes wrinkled. I winked at him in the mirror making him blush and look away.

We arrived at the boys house to drop of Jason and we made sure he was all taken care of inside the  house. Once we passed him off to  Brian and Kyle, Shawn told everyone that he was taking me to Gabriella’s and we left.

Suddenly my heart was in my throat. As much as I wanted to pretend like everything was the same as always, it 100 percent was NOT the same. I knew he liked me, he knew I liked him. We kissed for Christ sake! What was I supposed to do in the car with him? I took a deep breath and walked to the passenger side of the Jeep, where he was there to greet me with a grin and a hand to help me inside.

The first few minutes of the drive were quiet, I was waiting for him but I guess he was waiting for me. A loud grumble coming from my stomach interrupted both of our thoughts.

“You hungry?”

“I guess I am,” I giggle resting a hand on my stomach. I suppose I hadn’t really eaten much all day, the busyness and alcohol distracted me from thinking about it.

Next thing I knew I was sitting across from Shawn at an empty 60’s themed Diner, with a stack of pancakes the size of my head in front of me. Shawn watches carefully as I poor a absurd amount on syrup on top of the stack. I swipe my finger through the brown sticky substance, bringing it to my mouth to lick it off. I glance up to see judgement adorning his features, he couldn’t help but smile at me though.

I giggled, pulling my finger out of my mouth with a pop, “What are you staring at?!”

“You’re such a mess,” He says calmly, shaking his head lightly

My shoulders shrug instantaneously, “This is me, I don’t know what to tell you,” I quip before ramming a fork full of fluffy goodness into my mouth.

He laughs quietly, watching the disaster unfold before him, “I never said it was a bad thing,” his voice soft as he reaches across the table and uses his thumb to wipe the dripping syrup from the side of my mouth. He winks at me as he sucks the syrup off of his own thumb.

I set my fork down, because I suddenly have the courage to talk about it now. I don’t know if I’ll get the courage again, so I go for it.

“Is this,” I wave my finger back and forth between the two of us, “a thing?” I ask through squinted eyes, almost afraid of the answer.

“A thing?” He asks as he picks up his own fork and pokes at the Pancakes on my plate.

“Yes, a thing. Like, we kissed and I’m just…” I pull the plate of Pancakes away from him so he would focus, earning a grumpy face from him, “I’m confused.”

“What are you confused about?”

“About what we are!” I yell quietly, he grins making me roll my eyes. I know this game. This is the game he plays to get you to say exactly what you need to say. Fine, I would play, but he was going to have to, too.

“Well…” he leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, “Did you like kissing me?”

I try my hardest not to let the blush take over my cheeks as I thought about his lips on mine, but I failed miserably, “Yes, do you like kissing me?”

He grins again, nodding his head slowly as he leans back into the table, “Very much so.”

“But its more than this Shawn. Its more than I like kissing you and you like kissing me. What happens if something goes wrong, and our friendship is ruined.”

He inhales slowly and for the first time I see his flirtatious façade melt away. It was easy to forget how our new found romance would effect the people we cared about. What would happen if we weren’t meant to love each other in ‘that way’. Would we be able to continue on as if nothing had happened, as if we didn’t momentarily care for each other in an amorous way? Then what about Jason, how would he feel knowing his best friend was shacking up with his little sister?

Shawn’s hands slowly reach across the table to stop my fingers from tapping frantically on the table, “We’ve got to try, don’t we?” He asked, as his thumbs caressed the back of my hands.

I peek down at his tattooed hand, and then back up to his eyes that matched the color of the sticky syrup on my plate. They had a twinkle to them that I had never seen before. I had known Shawn for such a long time and I had never seen a look like this. It was loving one, hopeful even. It was a look that made me want to do everything in my power to make this work. We did, we had to try.

“I wish we could have a trial run. Like date each other without anyone finding out until we were sure about it,” I sigh, pulling away to stressfully pick at my now cold and soggy pancake.

“What if… we did that?” He proposes through raised brows.

I lean back in my chair, my gaze locking on his. I watch the wheels turn behind his eyes, he had a plan.

“We’ll just…date and not tell anyone. You can come to my apartment for alone time, since the guys rarely come by. Then when were ready to tell them, we can tell them.” His head cocks to the side as he watches me process his idea.

I scoot my chair back and walk over to where Shawn was sitting and I take a seat on his lap. His hands wrap around my waist as he pulls me close to him. He smirks up at me, the rosy tint on his cheek match my own. This felt right. So right.

“You said ‘when we’re ready’.” I whisper quietly into his ear, he chuckles lightly as he nods his head.

“Is that okay?” his lips press against my red cheek to leave a soft wet kiss. I nod my head in response. I chew at my lips as he continues to lazily press kisses to my neck, not a care in the world at who was watching. Which was ironic considering we were literally discussing a secret relationship.

I sighed, turning my head to see him. My hand pushing through his gelled curls before grasping his jaw and pulling his head up to look at me, “I don’t know if this is possible,” my lips curling down into a frown.

His look becoming serious as his eyebrows furrow together. My stomach twisted into knots as I realized how much he wanted this to happen. How much he wanted us to happen.

“Why not?” He challenged.

My thumb slowly started to massage his jaw as I glanced down at his swollen pink lips, “because I really want to be able to do this whenever I want,” I respond before pressing my lips to his again. His hand immediately came up to my neck to pull me closer. I smile into the kiss as I start to giggle.

“If you really need a kiss, just let me know.” He winks at me and I scoff, standing from his lap to go to back to my seat. His hand tightens around mine as he pulls me to look at him, “I’m gonna need you to do the same for me, yeah?”

I shake my head, unable to handle the colossal amount of cuteness radiating from this boy I get to call mine (well sort of). I slowly lean down kissing him once again before I grab my purse, as he pays.

The drive to Gabriella’s was an interesting one. He let me play my music, which wasn’t out of the ordinary. We held hands over the center consul, and his gaze on me was non-stop. It was like we could finally react to one another the way we had wanted to. We didn’t have to hold anything back from each other anymore and it felt like a weight had been lifted from our shoulders. A weight that either of us really knew existed.

He pulled up outside of her house, and the mood shifted. I didn’t want to leave him, because leaving him meant that this moment was over. I unplugged my phone and quickly texted Gabby to let her know I would be inside in a moment.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he says just above a whisper, if there was any noise in the car I wouldn’t have heard him. His hand finds mine again and he pulls it to his lips as he kisses my palm before pressing it to his chest.

“I’m far from perfect.”

“Perfect to me.”

I lean across the center consul to pull him in for a kiss, he met me in the middle eagerly, “I really hope this works.” I plead as I sit back down in my seat. He gets out of the car to open my door and help me out. He quickly looks behind him to make sure no one is watching us. He looks back at me and he swiftly tugs at my chin so that I’m looking up at him, “It’ll work. Okay?”

I inhale as he tucks a stray piece of hair behind my hair, “Yes. It has to.”

He smiles at my response, placing a long kiss to my forehead before telling me goodnight. I told him that I would text him if I could get away with it. I glided down the walkway to the front door in such a haze, I couldn’t believe any of it. I turned around before walking inside and he was still leaning against the hood waiting for me to disappear. He couldn’t believe it either. How in the hell was I going to pretend like the entire dynamic of our relationship had changed? Hopefully I didn’t have to do it for long.

Taglist: @within-nd-without, @hollymollymomsravioli @peterbrokenparker @alinashawn @allaboutthatdrummer @ilsolee @sweetheartmendes @colourfulraidrops @shawnwyr @yoelleex @jerseygrayson @miladavidson @trinysmesseduphead @emilyxkate @itrocksmysocks @furiouspaperfarmegg @needytriny @fallmoreinlove @queen-t-a-g 

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