I think itās safe to say we all know what sexism is, right? When a woman doesnāt get hired because of her gender, or when a mechanic charges a woman more for his services because she ādoesnāt know anything.ā Unfortunately, there are more insidious types of sexism, and when they are spouted by women they become whatās called internalized misogyny. Need some examples? Do you have a female friend that thinks sheās cooler/better/smarter/etc. than other women because she doesnāt do āgirlyā things? Or a female friend that says sheād rather hang out with guys because theyāre āless dramaā? (Read a history book, bro) What about the woman who scolds other women who are emotional, like itās a flaw?
Tina Fey had a poignant moment in Mean Girls where she discussed girl-on-girl hate.
These are examples of internalized misogyny. Itās the sexism we hear every day and we start incorporating into our own lives. The idea is to reject the feminine as ābadā and āweakā in an attempt to be the opposite -strong. Like a man.
I know what youāre thinking. āThatās fine and dandy, Courtney, but what does this have to do with fitness?ā
Iām going to take a huge, huge problem in this post an examine it through a smaller lens: memes. We can all agree that weāve seen a meme or two in our life, probably posted one, probably laughed about it. Memes are a cultural phenomenon that speak volumes to the way we think about certain classes in society.
Now, let me take you down the āWall of Shameā for just a second.
Ah, yes, a very typical meme. Youāve probably heard this before from a friend on Facebook or at the gym. āWho does she think she is ā wearing MAKEUP to the gym?! Doing her hair?! Doesnāt she know sheās here to WORK OUT? LIKE ME? I WORK SO HARD.ā This is an underlying theme in a lot of these memes ā girl on girl crime/hate. The recurrent theme is
Girls as competition ā if another girl is doing better/more than you/looking better than you/etc. she is competition in a bad way. She should be torn down at all costs. She lifts more than you? Yeah, well sheās ugly. She runs faster than you? Well, good, she has no life, she needs something in her life.
These ābetter than xā posts are also very common too. The recent popularity of Crossfit has brought a ton of women into the lifting community ā which is great! For far too long many of us have been the only girl at a powerlifting meet, or maybe were met with strange looks when we explain that we put hundreds of pounds on our back and squat it. With this came the barrage of ābetter than xā ideas. Suddenly doing something āmasculineā like lifting heavy weights makes them better than you. Again ā girl on girl hate. āHaha you dance for an hour? WELL I LIFT WEIGHTS FOR AN HOUR SO IāM BETTER!ā This is the equivalent of the girl who says āThe Bachelor? Gag. Iād rather watch Sports Center!ā Thereās nothing wrong with enjoying something āout of the normā but the minute you put down another woman for her preferences (which are ātypical femaleā preferences) youāre furthering this girl on girl hate.
And men, youāre just as guilty of this! Here are some memes that Iāve seen posted by men AND women alike.
Yes, please never grow up to be a multi-million dollar pop star that enjoys things. Cultural appropriation aside, thatās an entirely different discussion.
Large boobs are not optional. Also insert endless āMY FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE BAR HAHAā and āGOING DOWN LIKE A SQUAT NOT LIKE A SLUTā memes
Do you see a theme here? Most of these are trying to empower a certain type of woman by tearing down another ā and usually solely based on looks. Donāt believe me?
You can run a marathon? Who cares you donāt have 10% body fat haha!
I know science is hard, but geneticsā¦I mean really. And photoshop. OH GOD PHOTOSHOP.
Every time you say something about āthat girlā who works out and drinks.
Every time you tear down a woman for wearing makeup or doing her hair before the gym.
Every time you put one type of ānon-traditionalā exercise over another.
YOU are contributing to a world of GIRL ON GIRL hate. These memes often have a deeper, darker motive as well. Sure, on the surface they may seem motivational, but they actually reinforce a gender norm a lot of these women try to steer clear of. Notice how all of these women are skinny, white and conventionally attractive? These women all embody what is conventionally attractive to the modern man (and please, letās keep the #notallmen to a minimum). A big, firm butt, low body fat, white, etc. These memes reinforce the current beauty standard under the disguise of a new, āhealthyā one. Donāt believe me?
Lift hard and heavy! ā¦but only to an extent, thatās gross, right?
Re-affirming conventional beauty standards. If these memes were REALLY about āinternal strengthā or āBettering yourselfā theyād focus a range of body types and skin colors. They would show the top woman and say, āSuns out guns out!ā or āWork hard, play hard!ā or whatever other catchy saying currently spewed by fitness people. Instead they work to tear down women who stray from the idea of whatās āaccepted.ā And donāt be too shocked by the comments on these pictures ā women and men alike will tear down the top image. Post a picture of Dana Linn Bailey on Facebook and wait and count how many people (women included) tell you ānot to get that bigā or read her countless āEw youāre a man!ā comments.
So, basically, when you post these memes youāre 1) reinforcing the beauty norm, 2) tearing down other women (you donāt think that top girl has seen this image before? How do you think she feels?), 3) negating the hard work of the individualā¦just to name a few.
A lot of girl on girl hate, right?
(And, on a tangent, how many of these memes are thinly veiled thinspo? How many of these reinforce guilt about food and eating disorder ideas ā which is a predominantly womanās issue? Yeah.)
Build other women up ā donāt tear them down. Find your competition and praise her for her strengths. Find a sisterhood in your shared struggle.
Call out other women for their internalized misogyny. āI donāt understand why the hair style of the girl on the treadmill has anything to do with your workout?ā or āMaybe she likes pink nail polish, why do you care?ā
Accept that not everyone wants to do Crossfit or lift weights and some women just like to dance with their friends, or cycle, or run. And remember it has NOTHING to do with you.
Praise other women. Lift them up. Empower each other in EVERY facet of your life. Other women are NOT your competition and if theyāre doingābetterā than you itās not a personal affront to you.
Donāt post this garbage.
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