Cuckolding

"Are you still seeing your boyfriend's workmate?"

- Not lately. I stopped for a number of reasons (which I'm going to keep to myself), but I might be seeing one or two people in the meantime...

"Can we see a picture of your face?"

- I've said it a million times... but, no.

"I have this fantasy of taking you on a vacation and dressing you up in slutty outfits for the locals to see... I'd make you dance, go out with me, etc. and send photos to your bf at home. I'd make sure that every man who saw you wanted you and ever woman wanted to be you." (the comment was much longer than that)

- You, sir, have made me blush! Thank you! I don't think I'd ever agree to that in reality, because I really would need my boyfriend, or someone like Logan, who I could actually feel that way with/for.. but all is fair in fantasy, right?

"Would you fuck me if you ever came to South Africa?"

- Uhh... is there anything in South Africa worth seeing besides you? (By which, I mean 99.9% I'm not ever going to Africa.)

"I hope this isn't too much information but the first two times I read posts from it I actually came without even touching myself at all. Your boyfriend is so lucky. :)"

- Thanks! That's quite flattering! But, you probably shouldn't make it an every day thing. Go out and find yourself a girlfriend if that's what you want out of life! :)

"How long do you like sex (penetration) to last? And how big of a lover?"

- I like it to last however long it takes for me to be satisfied. Sometimes that can be ten minutes, and sometimes it can be ten hours (with breaks in between, of course!). When it comes to size, it's the same thing. For instance, my boyfriend isn't big, but when I'm in the mood to make love with him, for a short time or for a long time just cuddling, there's no one else I'd have besides him. But, when I want to be fucked, for to feel something really intense and just lose track of time, I need other men.

"Do you do things with other guys often?"

- This is a question I get a lot of the time, and I always dread answering. First of all, you have to define "things" and "guys". I make love with and sleep with my boyfriend. And I fuck men sometimes. Not "boys" or "guys", but men who have the attitude and power to take what they want. I don't really want anyone or anything else.

"I agreed to let my gf be open while I stay faithful. She now has a lover and some ex bfs who take care of her needs. She's sweeter now and is honest about everything so our relationship works well except she dates others. Does this make me a cuckold? She says it's perfect"

- That's kind of how our relationship evolved, too. We became closer because we opened things and trusted each other more. The communication also really brought us closer. It doesn't necessarily make you a cuckold (the actual word cuckold means that she is cheating on you and humiliating you, etc.) it just means you have a half-open relationship. Don't get caught up on terms unless you enjoy them, and always be sure to talk about things because that's how you figure out your limits, turn on's, etc.

"Does that coworker know your boyfriend knows?"

- Nope. He never found out, and simply thought I was cheating. I ended things with him though, and told him I just wanted to try something new for a while.

"Do you think black men look at white girls only as breeders?"

- No. I think that's something that maybe some particular men might do, but not ALL black men, or ALL people of any group out there. A lot of the internet is just fantasy, and a lot of women like me don't actually want to get pregnant.

"My question to you is, if these attitudes that you spoke of were completely non-existent, and an entire generation of white women such as yourself were to grow up in a prejudice-free culture with no fears whatsoever, might North America and perhaps the world as a whole look a lot like many of the pictures you’ve been posting on this blog all these months?"

- First of all, that is a BIG, LONG question, and it would take a bunch of smarter people than me to give you a good answer. But, I there definitely is racism in some parts of some countries and because of that, a lot of girls just grow up thinking they would die of guilt and shame if they ever even kissed someone of another race. But, thankfully, times are changing, and I think there is a certain quality that a lot of black men have that white women find attractive. But, I can't speak for everyone, so...

"Do you ever talk with your boyfriend about what it would be like if you were with Logan again or if Logan got you pregnant?"

- We talk about it a few times a month, actually. But it's mostly teasing. It really turns both of us on, although, as of right now it's just fantasy bedroom play. We don't plan on starting a family until we're much older.

"Do you ever fantasize about Logan getting you pregnant?"

It was a big fantasy while I was with him... But, I haven't seen him in months, so I don't plan on that happening anytime soon.

"OMG I saw your posts! Are you pregnant!?"

- Nope.

"Do you ever think you could love both your boyfriend and Logan at the same time? Would you ever try polyamory?"

- Polyamory is definitely something I considered when I felt that way about Logan (it's also something I talked about with two people here on tumblr, both are couples and one is a couple I'll mention at the end of this blog, because they're thinking about it themselves). I'm really glad to have one person's advice in particular, though. She told me you can love one person and feel a lot of emotional intimacy with another, and both of those can benefit you in the bedroom. But, only the person who you can't live without is the person you love (as opposed to being infatuated with, etc.) and for me, that person is my boyfriend, and always will be :)

"Why haven't you been posting lately?"

- First of all, I've been quite busy, and secondly this is a blog for myself, about myself. I do this to explore and talk, not just as some fantasy material for someone to jerk off to.

And, for anyone who does want super sexy captions or anything, just go read stories on Literotica or something (or read what is still my favourite tumblr author, darkrelations, even though he hasn't posted in forever)

For the cuckolds especially: http://darkrelations.tumblr.com/post/57476928675/she-made-sure-his-hands-were-tied-then-she

Or if you want captions, there are a ton of them. Just google "cuckold captions tumblr" and you'll find a ton, or visit a really nice couple who just started blogging captions:

http://cucucouple.tumblr.com/

They're thinking about trying and experimenting with new things lately, and I'm really interested in seeing what they're going to decide to do. They're a couple just like me and my boyfriend, except they're super cute because they blog together! :)

Just got home. Just made love. Boyfriend lasted about a minute the first time, then maybe a dozen the second. And now he's in the shower, and I'm on tumblr fantasizing and frigging my head off.

All I have to say is this: I was expecting to be turned on at the party, but I wasn't expecting that.

He was hotter than I remembered, and his attitude... ugh, God! It's something I've hated for 95% of my life, but tonight.. I can't even begin.

I saw him. We talked. He got me away from my boyfriend. We flirted. We got away from most people, and he tried to touch me. I brushed him off, but I let him do it again. He said he'd really love to talk to me sometime. We're "friends" now, he said. Friends need to "do things" together. I gave in. I gave him my number. He rubbed his hand along my hip, my thigh, my ass....

It took every shred of my will to stop my body from just going home with him right then and there.

I'm under the covers right now, and even though it's freezing outside, I'm sweating, and soaking the sheets. I shouldn't want it. It shouldn't turn me on this much. He's arrogant, mean, manipulating.... and, for the life of me, I don't think I've ever wanted a man more. Ugh.

My next final isn't for a while, and with no work until I find a new job, I know all I'm going to be doing tomorrow is thinking about it.

I love teasing my boyfriend, sometimes. It's just so fun! We both love it!

But, joking aside, I know a lot of you have been asking, so I'll put the details of everything here:

- I'm not going to list his name (or maybe I might, just not right now), so I'll call him "the coworker".

- Yes, he does work with my boyfriend.

- Yes, I have met him before. We talked, he tried to flirt with me, but I shut him down. It was a pretty long time ago, though. I have no idea if he still remembers me.

- Yes, he is black, and tall, and well-built (would any of you seriously think he'd be the top candidate otherwise!?), and has an attitude that just... something I used to hate, but, ugh.. well I'm sure you all know!

My boyfriend and I have discussed a few candidates...

I think we both know which one is at the top of our list..

It might be bad, I know. We've talked about the online thing, and what we're both interested in, and people we know, and what the risks and benefits of various men are. Lately, my boyfriend is incredibly into jealousy, and me being with one person would do it more than anyone else, and we both know that.

And, honestly, I feel like letting my body get what it wants. Caution to the wind, just letting go.

So, I've been thinking about doing something like this instead of long posts for the next little while. It's much easier, and it still lets me say what's on my mind.

I think I'm going to take a little break from tumblr for now.

I'll still be reading blogs and maybe posting images every now and then, but don't expect any big, huge posts or quick replies to asks (although, thank you so much to everyone who sent some in!)

I'm busy with finals, finding a new job (the old one was only a one-semester thing, but paid amazingly so I was happy with it), and just talking a lot of things out with my boyfriend lately. It's definitely going to be a tough balance trying to figure out how to get back into our little "arrangement" but this time mitigating or avoiding a few of the more bad outcomes.