Beginners

Released May 1999.

Audio from DAT transfer completed Fall 2023.

Recently found Hamilton images :p

Eudora Records Archive Project #1

Part one in the Eudora Records archive project.

This has the catalog # EUR-02.

Members of Hamilton and Standing 8 handmade these covers in Jesse Keeler's bedroom. The record was released in May 1998, probably at a show discussed in the Instagram post here: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cs37G1DgT...

Audio from DAT transfer completed Fall 2023.

The tour journal, cleaned up by ChatGPT!

Day One: We leave at midnight since our first show of the tour is in Baltimore. I am driving, and we are about three miles from the Ohio border (one hour from home). All of a sudden, I look in the rearview mirror, and the back window is all steamed up. I look down at the engine temperature gauge, and we are overheating. So begins our fun tour. This day turns into the longest day of our lives. James' dad drives down to save us, but Brian and I have already started walking to get help. We are almost hit by a car that is driving on the shoulder of the road, and then a skinhead holding a Bible comes and picks us up, driving us into Ohio. So we get the van towed, and we sleep in it instead of going home. We sleep for about half an hour in the BP repair shop parking lot, and Brian sleeps under a tree, and on top of a crushed dead bird, as we will later find out. The shop tells us that the water pump is ruined, and they can get us a new one. We should expect to be on the road by noon. Shit runs late, and we have to cancel in Baltimore. So at 5:30, we finally leave because these fucking hicks are so goddamn slow, plus they didn't fix it properly as we will find out on...

Day 2: After driving through Ohio, West Virginia, and most of Pennsylvania, we call Jordan, whose home we are supposed to stay at, and tell him we will be there soon. About thirty minutes later, we stall out on the freeway. Turns out that the sons of bitches at the BP didn't put the belts on properly, so now it's 3 am, and we're in Breezewood, Pennsylvania. We drive the piece of shit van to this truck stop where there is a mechanic on duty, but he says in the most stereotypical redneck accent I have ever heard, "I don't fix no cars, only big trucks." So we're stuck in shithole, PA. We sleep for about an hour in the parking lot of another repair shop. Brian sleeps on rocks, Marty on the roof of the van. When the repair shop owner arrives, he says he can't fix it, so we have to go somewhere else. So we drive around and find a repair shop to fix it. They replace a few belts, and we drive away. About a mile or two down the road, we break another belt. So we go back, and they say that it's not an important belt, so not to worry. So we head to Baltimore. We get to Jordan's house and meet the Stillwell and Wayouts guys. Everyone is really nice. Jordan takes us to Reptilian Records, and we spend lots of money. We then say bye-bye to Jordan and head to our show in Washington, D.C., which has been hyped up a little, so we figure it will be a good show. We get a hotel room in Chevy Chase and relax. We head to the show, and once we arrive, we discover that the promoter "forgot" about the show, so the club doesn't want us to play, and there is no PA. So we say fuck this, we're playing. Exercises in Breathing play first; they are a duo, trombone and guitar. Their song "Stewie's Car" will soon become a driving favorite. Then we play and just scream into the air. There are like six people watching, but it's fun. Then the Wayouts perform an acoustic set, which they have never done before. It's amazing. Stillwell caps the night off. Those kids can rock. I am dead from driving and having no sleep and taking No-Doz. Everyone is exhausted and sick of driving. Brian meets this street guy, and they go to this little blind pig-type bar called the King Pin. Brian is now drunker than I have ever seen him in my life. We go back to the hotel, and Brian meets this desk clerk named Funnel. He is great. He wants to take us to strip clubs, but we decide to sleep instead.

Day 3: We decide to take in the sights in D.C. We go to the Capitol building, the Vietnam War Memorial, Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, the White House... Brian and I are loving it, but Marty and James want to go. So we take off for Long Island around three. Right as we get into the rough part of D.C., the van overheats. So we go to this little place called "Auto Repair," and these two Korean guys fix us up good. It's raining, and we've all gone insane. New Jersey will soon become the worst-smelling state I've ever been in. We take off for New York. I am amazed by how real it is. It always seems so fake, like it only exists on TV. We stop in the sketchiest part of Brooklyn so Marty can call his girlfriend, and Brian and I go buy beer literally through a hole in the wall. We get to Josh's house at 1 am.

Day 4: Josh's house is great, but unfortunately, the shows we are supposed to play in Long Island and Connecticut fall through. But we go to NYC and have a blast. I get Krispy Kreme donuts and a new belt; James buys GNR stuff, and Marty looks at Austin Powers dolls. We go to the Ed Sullivan Theatre, meet Rupert G at the Hello Deli, see MTV Studios in Times Square, and the NBC Experience store. It's great. I love New York. At night we head back to the island and go to a friend of Mario and Josh's who directed a movie that they starred in along with Neil from Irony of Lightfoot. The movie is really funny, and we have fun hanging out with the Islanders. I have this crazy allergic reaction during the night, so I spend a lot of it on the deck outside.

Day 5: We hang out at the laundromat for a bit so I can wash my blanket. Marty buys this cool cop uniform from a nearby thrift store. We go into the city to play this great radio show on WNYU that Steve from Saetia hooks us up with. The show comes out well, but tensions are now high within the band. We hang out around the NYU campus and see a real live New York cockroach. After the show, we head to Feasterville, Pennsylvania.

Day 6: We eat at Roy Rogers at around 1 am and then drive through Jersey to get to Philadelphia. We arrive at around 3 am or so and start to look for a hotel. We wind up at what we believe to be a brothel in Feasterville, and we sneak in with our video camera and try to tape the sounds of people having sex. We then try to find Bob's house, and when we do, it is still too early to go up and knock. So we find this obese guy sitting in his kitchen eating Ding Dongs while naked. We decide to flash him with our flashlight and tape it. Then we just park in front of Bob's house and go to sleep after running from the fat guy and getting lost. Brian and I decide it would be funny to set off the car alarma few times. Marty is pissed. Bob's dad comes out on his way to work and invites us to come in and sleep. So we do, and when we wake up, we go to the mall to eat and watch "Big Daddy." Brian and I buy hats, and Marty looks at Austin Powers dolls again. That night we get pizza and decide to go to downtown Philly to see the fireworks, so we meet up with some of Bob's friends. James and Marty go with Bob and a couple of the guys, while Brian and I go with these two girls. The girl Crystal who is driving has no clue where she is going, so we end up getting lost in New Jersey. We finally get back and find the crew, but we get harassed by the cops and then go back to Bob's. Brian is upset because they don't have 40s in Feasterville, and we learn that a sub is a hoagie, and we feel salty after that.

Day 7: We finally play a real show, except for the fact that for some reason there is no money taken at the door, so we don't get paid. This is the hottest show ever. All the bands are good, too many to name, and I forget almost all of them. A really good emo band plays, though, that I like a lot. We sell a bunch of stuff, so we have gas money home. On the way out, I run over the neighbor’s flowers. He is upset. We drive 13 hours to get home.

Day 8: We get home and go to sleep in our own beds. When we wake up, the phone calls begin to get ready for the show in Windsor. We head out for that at like 6. It's a pretty good show. People from Detroit come over to see us, and we are really happy about that. The basement in which the show is held sucks; we play kinda bad, but the other bands are good, not really my thing though. Acacia spends the night at my house.

Day 9: We go to Grand Haven and play with Acacia, Dead Season, With Arms Still Empty, and some other band from Florida. The show sucks ass; we are all pissed at each other. We play three songs, and we are done. Funny how Grand Haven is always so good to us, and our last show there is to 8 kids. Whatever. We once again sleep in our own beds.

Day 10: We play at the IO in Detroit. A bunch of kids come out, and we meet up with our good friends Last Days of August. They play great; Compass Point Progress and 46short also rock it. LDA spends the night at Laura's house.

Day 11: Our van is in the shop now, and we have to take our old minivan to Chicago. It is decided that Brian has to come back home in a few days anyhow, so he and James will go back and get the van. I fight with Laura just before we leave for Chi-town. At the last minute, Kevin decides he is going to come along, and he brings his Explorer, so Marty and Brandon, who is now our roadie, ride with him. We get to the Fireside, and the show is supposed to be huge. Race Traitor is playing, so we figure about a hundred kids. Of course, 15 show up. All the bands play well, and after the show, we go to this apartment rented by a friend of Brian. We're having fun with the Last Days guys.

Day 12: We go to Fort Wayne, Indiana, to play in a tattoo parlor. Not much to say. Lame-ass show, 10 kids. Bonnie Situation comes down from the LIV to rock with us. We go to IHOP, and then we get hotel rooms. Brian and James go home to get the van, so Marty, Brandon, Kevin, and I ride in the Explorer.

Day 13: The Last Days van is now also fucked, so they take it to get repaired, and Josh from LDA, Kevin, Brandon, Marty, and I go to the mall. It is decided that their van can make it to the next show, so we leave for that. We get to the house where the show is, and we are all standing around in the yard laughing and whatnot when the kid who lives there, Josh, comes up to me and says, "Charley, James is on the phone. He says the van broke down." So we go out there in the Explorer to pick up James and Brian and bring back equipment for the show. We get the van towed to the house. We play, and we are just pissed. The PA doesn't work, so it's just crazy. Kevin sings in my place for "Weekends" cause my voice is now totally shot. We eat and are well taken care of thanks to Josh and his family. Brian, Sal, and I stay up talking to three girls from the local scene all night.

Day 14: Brian, the girls, and I all go to Burger King for breakfast. We've been up all night. Last Days wants to cancel the Milwaukee show tonight, but we convince them to go. Bad idea. We get there, and the space is too small to play in. The kids have on ICP shirts and don't get us at all. Insidious plays, and they are great. Those guys fucking rule. So we go into Milwaukee and eat. There is a big debate over this, and it is obvious that people are starting to hate each other. We decide to drive back to Indiana tonight, since our next show is there. Last Days' van has trouble, and they think it's the axle, so they decide to scrap it.

Day 15: So now we're in a dilemma. We only have the Explorer after LDA decides to ditch their van in Wisconsin, and there are 11 people plus equipment that have to get back to Indiana. Somehow we manage to pack 6 people plus half the equipment into the Explorer. It is decided that the rest of the people will wait in Wisconsin, and Brian will drive straight back to get them. We unload the shit in Napanee, Indiana at 7 am, and Brian, who has had no sleep in days, drives back to get the rest of the guys. The guy who runs the hall where the show was at was really nice and let us come inside. We sleep all day since the town is like an Amish town and there is nothing to do there. Around 5 or 6 pm, Brian shows up, but the Last Days van is right behind him. Turns out it was just the muffler, and they had it fixed. We play what will be our last show ever; Last Days rock my fucking world, and it's the last time I will ever see them play since they broke up too. Zao sucks, Mara'akate is good though. I smash my guitar, and Kevin and Brandon sing along on "Weekends." Marty and I are not speaking. We are having no fun. We head back to Josh's to spend our last night together.

Yeah, so I was indeed in bev.clone. A band that had begun to take shape before I ever entered... I remember watching Ben, Jim, Scott and Tom practicing one time at the house I was living in with a bunch of people including Tom. I wanted to play and some agreement was reached and I started practicing with the band shortly after that. I agreed to play guitar, even though I thought of myself as a drummer. Jim was naturally way more talented than myself at drumming and though I could barely play a guitar and was always piecing together the shittiest equipment without too much thought as to anything other than could I get it cheaply? Thus my guitar sound was born out of looking for deals in the discard bin and leftovers from friends. I liked that it felt ramshackle and homemade, I loved that it was quirky as fuck and it worked because we learned to listen to each other and Tom made us all believe that we could do our own thing and make it work out within the group dynamic.

When I think about those times, when I was not a kid anymore, but I was a young man struggling to see a way forward in the world beyond the confines of corporate identities and these trappings that I saw all around me. I was beginning to see the underpinnings of our society in some small ways, but in those days, not having examined my heart as much, nor had I examined the extent of damage that ideology and fundamentalism not based in love had wrought, I made many mistakes and held on to many misguided ideas. Our society breeds hatefulness when not examined truthfully.

I knew from an early age that love, beyond simply romantic love, something like familial love, or brotherly love (balanced by fear, fear of vulnerability, fear of being revealed, fear of being flawed, of not being accepted) was the highest expression of friendship. Amongst friends this love often goes unexpressed (see the part about fears I just mentioned), times can be tough.

Looking back, it’s all felt kinda unplanned. But we make our choices all along the way. Yeah, I did that. I don’t regret any of my own choices as they’ve led me to be exactly who I need to be in this moment, to who I am today. I’ll admit that many of my choices have led me to deep pains and inexpressible sorrows (always a penchant for the dramatic). I guess it’s some of that kind of pain we were attempting to express back in those days (way before I even knew what true pain is), the inexpressible pain that comes with living a life in chains you feel like you didn’t create. I don’t think I understood one thing about privilege in 1994. I still feel the relative privilege of a life filled with plenty to eat, drink, do, think, play, keep safe and meditate. Sometimes it feels like taking the comfortable, easy route (and who can blame anyone for choosing some comfort and ease? Not me.) and sometimes I wonder to myself how exactly I got to this point where everything is so uncomfortable and I don’t mind? The truth lay somewhere in between.

There’s no more kicking anything down the road that isn’t filled with love. We are all so intimately responsible for each others’ well being…. it’s almost embarrassing to point it out.

bev.clone changed my life. It changed the whole trajectory of my life. It set the tone for what needed to be played, for what needed to be learned, for the lessons needed have been integral to the creation of a life worth living.

This show happened because of our friendship with Constatine Sankathi. I’ll forever remember playing in the atrium window at the Crow’s Nest, a burgeoning restaurant above Fourth Coast coffee shop in Kzoo. We were so excited to play with the Make Up, as the flyer states, they were ex-Nation of Ulysses, that we were in awe of them when spotting Ian Svenonious playing chess with Michelle May in the coffee shop downstairs. We danced like mad during their set, and Ian rewarded drummer Jims with a kiss, full on the lips!

Flyer from the 508 House in Tom's River, New Jersey, summer of '95. We drove out east from Michigan to play this show and only one other. We were a tba band on the Friday, July 14th show with Daredevil, as the flyer states- ex-indian summer. And ex-Ordination of Aaron as well. Gotta love the line, "be a punk and help out bands who are just like you... stupid." I recall watching Daredevil and really getting sucked into the improvisational yet somehow grounded grooves that were being laid down. Good guy Nate (RIP) from Bubblejug was playing a horn with them and they took the dynamics to another level there in that basement! It was hot in New Jersey in July and we all snuck into an outdoor country club swimming pool for an impromptu cool down that night after the show. Billy Sprague (OoA, Daredevil) provided good natured ribbing and endless laughs at the pool before we all got spooked and ran back to our various vehicles to exit the premises gracefully.

The next day we played a show in Sayreville, NJ with a bunch of bands, 97A being the most popular as far as I could tell. 97A played some Jersey hardcore really well, and took the easy fruit by making fun of us "emo kids" during their set.