This has been a platform that I haven’t used in a long time. To be fair though, I stopped using most social media. I don’t have a ton of people who follow me on here, but needed an outlet of some kind to vent and share what’s going on.
I am depressed, which is new and weird to me. 30 years on this earth and I’ve never felt this way until now.
I think it stems from a combination of things. This year has been a whirlwind of things for all of us. Currently on top of all of the bullshit that is 2020 I am buying the house I’ve been renting for 7 years, I am beyond stressed with work. Having to constantly fear for a paycheck, and worry we will get shut down again terrifies me, especially because I am buying a house.
I also recently ended things with my girlfriend. We had a lot going for us, but she and I have opposite work schedules and that on top of covid stress ruined us. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I know this will end, I know things will get better, but I just feel empty, drained, and like I could sleep through every day and not care.
I also don’t feel like any of my friends would be any help at the moment. Everyone had grown so far apart. Being 30 is weird, half of your friends are married with kids and the other half are too busy. My best friend moved to a different state, and he and I still talk a lot, but never about this kind of stuff.
I just don’t know how to deal with depression, I know working out would help, but drowning my sorrows in alcohol seems way easier. I know depressant... blah blah blah shut up Beez...
