Boner Clown

reblog to wirelessly transfer all of your dysphoria to jk rowling

Good motherfucking god

OH MY GOD THATS EXACTLY WHAT ITS LIKE

EXACTLY

why is it a banger

"Summon ketamine ape is a banned spell" fuck it fine whatever, I summon a normal gorilla. I summon some ketamine.

In order to solve the ethical conundrums present in eating meat I have created the world's first ontologically evil pig

what makes it evil, and why a pig? well you see, it wants to destroy all life, but pigs can't look up at the stars so it's ambition for galactic warfare is tempered. This morality shit is easy.

What if it trips and looks up?

We need to put down the ontologically evil pig immediately

my angel wings just burst from my back in public and sprayed blood everywhere and a small child called me a homosexual

If I were a snake I know it'd feel good as fuuuuuck to just stick out my tongue to sense my environment #mysurroundings

the linguistic shift from "avatar" or "icon" to "pfp" is bad actually. bring back the implications of ritual significance. cowards.

yeah sure ill incorporate that into my belief system

im quitting tumblr

ok see u tomorrow

this post is now 10 fucking years old

I really do love when I get called a fujoshi because, like. Look, it's not a cool thing to call any gay trans guy, but with me in particular, it is REALLY apparent that that's just your catch-all insult for gay trans guys. Really obvious that you were just throwing some spaghetti at the wall and hoping it stuck. You didn't even look at my blog. There's not even real life guys kissing on here. Or anime guys not kissing. I was just talking to my spouse about anime boys I am capable of naming, and here is the full list: Goku, Sasuke, Naruto, etc. That's all of them. Ain't a holier-than-thou thing, either. Just not my scene. And it's also a thing where, like. Let's strip away the porn and romance parts of it. I didn't transition to be a twink. If you did, I am hootin' and hollerin' and crushing beer cans against my forehead, but I'm fat and hairy and covered in tattoos and I often find myself in a hunting supply store staring at the novelty T-shirts and thinking, "That's a solid pun and a beautiful wildlife painting. I can't pass up the opportunity to wear this to a chili cook-off or perhaps to a different hunting supply store." Just the way it worked out for me, you know? I think maybe if you asked the people who know me to rank things they'd be likely to find me doing, they would all put "gnawing on a human corpse buck naked on the side of the road" slightly above "rubbing one out to anime boys kissing". But yeah. I definitely transitioned because I want to pretend that I am Sasuke kissing Goku. That's what I'm up to for sure, you ribbonless county fair hog.

Thinking maybe this post came off a little harsh, so I do want to clarify that if you're reading this and you want to kiss Goku so bad that you're thinking about going down to your local Planned Parenthood and doing some steroids about it because you feel like that's really gonna help you get into the zone Goku-wise, you might actually be the coolest dude on the face of the earth. I think you really know what you're about, and I'm into it big-time.