i'm Trying™️

I want to hear you laugh just as much as I want to hear you moan.

Kissing your tits because you made it through the day like a good girl

Finger her until it starts dripping down her thighs

“send nudes” come over & take them yourself coward

showering is basically a magical girl transformation for the mentally ill

“rocky HATE mark” is so funny bc it’s over something relatively minor but also u know that sentient rock holds a grudge. so taking inspo from grace naming a planet after adrian, rocky names a field of space debris after mark & gleefully opts to blow the bigger pieces up. grace sits there in silence bc ‘oh shit how am I gonna tell him about getting exiled from academia or god forbid eva”

love how Rocky is always serving main character energy. dude steps up and leaves their smoking hot mate to go on a noble quest. Then everyone dies mysteriously and a fucking alien shows up who is somehow smart but also dumb as hell. So now bro has a lovable sidekick and you two save each other through the power of friendship multiple times. Then you figure out a way to save the fucking world and you get to go back home a hero. And your funny bestie alien sidekick comes with you because he thinks you're so cool. Rockys life is a movie. He's a legend.

god forbid a boy want some possessiveness in his life

i haven’t been on tumblr for a hot minute. did markiplier fuck ryan gosling?

not now kitten. daddy only planned the first half of his wip, and now he has to figure out what the fuck to do for the other half.

Dont announced your crimes over unsecured channels dumbass

I've spent the past month cooped up in a motel in Orange County planning my theft, before I steal the sign I will set off a cache of fireworks I've placed 5 blocks away from the nearest police station which will rain down on the pigs, the perfect diversion.

You can lie when you name things