been in hell

“ Everything should be,” Vis called back knowing that he double checked, not willing to risk anything. It was a miracle that they were allowed to see each other in the first place well aware that remaining on the undercover side was the only option for now. It had been all Natasha to set it up, putting rules in place so everything was in check. No one would come looking for them. “I’ve missed you too, always do.” With weeks stretching in between visits it had always been a relief to see her, at least hear her voice in person. Leaving was not something he wanted to think about already but they never had long and Natasha had never been willing to budge. “Tell me what I missed,”

His entire life had been a war and Bucky was still struggling to remember a time where he felt happy. The decades he spent under someone else’s control would always be fresh in his mind, even when it lingered all of that blood left on his hands still gave him a bad taste in his mouth. There was only so much he could do to correct his sins, ones that were not in his control but if anything had been a relief if was T'Challa’s hospitality and willingness to allow Bucky to lay low there till the next war called.

“Hey Steve,” With his heart in his chest the smallest of smiles tugged at the soldier’s lips and he found stepping forward to Steve, still missing his left arm and hugged him tight. His old life might’ve been dead, old self still struggling to break through but if one thing remained it was him.

The feeling of Bucky’s arms around him would never cease to comfort Steve. It was almost like they were back in the old days. Back before all the wars. They only fights they had to worry about was Steve back in an alley. Of course, there were dead giveaways with them now. For one, Steve was much bigger now. He wasn’t the same sickly kid he had been when he left Brooklyn. Bucky was down an arm, but he didn’t want to let those differences weigh on his mind too much in the moment. He wanted to be happy to see Bucky. That weight would hit him at night when he couldn’t sleep. When he was thinking about just how much this had cost them. “How are you doing?” 

“Hey Buck,” he called out softly as T’Challa led him.