Not everything is your fault
WARNING: Probably somewhat controversial statements ahead. If you are the type to be sensitive, or start arguments on social media, or get offended easily, feel free to see yourself out! Personal thoughts from this point on.
Okay, now that thatâs out of the way...
âDonât be a minister if you can help it. Because if the man can help it, God never called him. But if he cannot help it, and he must preach or die, then he is the man.â -Charles Spurgeon
Last Monday, I finally took care of all of my car maintenance, after driving for MONTHS with various warning lights on. Engine oil, brake fluid, tire rotation, low tire pressure and even empty gas tank⌠After taking care of everything, I felt so frickn great, finally relieved that I will no longer possibly be in danger of dying on the road LOL.
I mention this, because itâs a good picture of how Iâve been the last 4 years in ministry. Various warning lights were going off, and many things had to be taken care of; but I felt too overwhelmed and incompetent to solve everything. Little by little, I started learning how to be in ministry, with the conviction that God had brought me into this, though not quite understanding fully why.Â
I am still quite a novice in the field, with much ignorance and inexperience, I have learned quite a few things along the way; some on my own, others through those with more experience. Instead of writing long posts, decided to break em down into smaller points.
I hope this helps prepare anyone that is trying into enter into youth ministry. Oh man, youâre in for one hell of a ride.
1. Abandon any sort of ambition for money early. Earlier the better, trust me. Be okay with the fact that youâll be quite poor compared to everyone else.
2. Youâll be giving out way more than you receive, something thatâs inevitable. If you want to expect people to invest in you as much as you invest in them, look for a different job.
3. Be okay with being forgotten. You may remember the people you invested heavily in, but theyâll move on to their own stages in life. Be okay with the fact that you had the privilege to be Jesusâ hands and feet during a specific time in their lives, and not more.
4. Someone told me that my first 100 sermons are going to suck. They still do. Keep that in mind, and donât get discouraged.
5. Commit yourself to preaching the Gospel. Your time at the pulpit is not to be spent being a motivational speaker. Jesus is the only One that saves, Jesus the only One that changes people. If you want to see change, make sure that Jesus is preached. Everyone needs to know of their absolute need for a Savior... including yourself. Sin will never be conquered through self-discipline and self-betterment; we are saved through grace alone, by faith alone in Christ alone.
6. Be careful, the asking of âwhat-ifsâ is a endless tunnel to walk down into; there could have been 14,600,005 possible outcomes, but the current one is the only one that God had wanted (bonus pts for getting that reference).
7. Donât ever confuse your laziness with Godâs plan.Â
7a. The most disgusting thing Iâve heard recently, was a pastor supposedly saying âI will be giving up on that [specific] class, because they wonât respond well to me & the vision anyway.â Good luck explaining that to God when you see Him face-to-face later. Donât ever mock God with your excuses, nor try to justify your unwillingness; serious warning. Okay, rant over.
8. Donât ever confuse your vision for the ministry with Godâs plan, and donât ever compromise taking care of your sheep, for the sake of your vision. Your job is not to carry your vision forward. Your job is to sacrificially take care of and feed the sheep (John 21:15-19).Â
9. Donât ever blame your sheep for your failures as a shepherd. If you can confidently be honest before God that you did your absolute best, thatâs on them. HOWEVER If you failed to do everything in taking care of them, providing for them and bringing them closer to Jesus, thatâs on you. Stay humble.
10. At the same time, donât blame yourself for everything. There are things in your life, circumstances and relationships that were out of your control, which had resulted in you not being able to fully give to the ministry. And that is okay.
11. Be careful of blaming the church. God set up that church, and the leadership within. Sometimes you wonât agree, and they may or may not be flat-out wrong. But still, thatâs leadership that God set up for whatever reason at that moment. Be innocent as doves, shrewd as a serpent (Matthew 10:16). Ask for wisdom from God, to be able to work around and with your circumstances.
12. Itâs okay to be selfish with your time here and there. I struggled with this a lot, and always felt guilty about saying no. But sometimes, you need your own time, and that is okay.
13. You will preach grace, but may not always receive it back. Sometimes people will forget that you are human, and hold you to sometimes unfair expectations. You wonât meet them, but thatâs okay; you donât work for peopleâs expectations, but rather to be faithful to God.
14. ITâS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY. YOUâRE A HUMAN BEING. YOU DONâT HAVE TO BE PERFECT ALL THE TIME. YOU DONâT HAVE TO PUT UP A FRONT.
15. Not everything is your fault. If someone didnât like what you did or said - within the grounds that you were being courteous, not rude or offensive, and doing your best to be Christ-like in everything - their actions thereof is not your fault.
16. If the qualities in the point above didnât apply to you, humble yourself, repent, and commit to change. âThatâs me just being meâ mentality may fly with the people you know, but it will never fly with God. If you led people astray because of your non-Christlike actions & words, that sin will be on your head.
17. Donât ever resort to gossip/tearing down of the previous pastor/leader, in order to establish your own ministry. If you find yourself constantly doing this to validate yourself, not only is that somewhat pathetic, but also you seriously need to ask yourself if youâre actually doing the Kingdomâs work. Kingdom divided against itself wonât stand. You attacking another ministerâs credibility is the devilâs work.
17a. Just be care of gossip in general. It WILL come back and bite you in the butt, guaranteed.
18. Commit yourself to Godliness. Asap. You can easily fake ministry; you will never be able to fake faithfulness. One day, the façade will surely fail. I pray that God will have mercy on you in those days.
19. Find a hobby/interest outside of ministry. This is key. Find activities in which you can take your mind off of ministry for a bit and take a breather. My choice was working out; a time for me to be alone, and to be human again. Donât be sheltered; living at church wonât make you a better pastor. Go outside, have real conversations. Otherwise, no one will be able to relate to you.
20. Be thankful. As difficult as it is, God will bring infinitely greater amount of blessings. With every critic, there will be more people supporting you. With every difficulty, thereâs more rewarding moments. With every person that forgets you, there will be many that remember you, and are thankful for you. With every unfair circumstance, thereâs Godâs perfect plan holding your life.
And lastly, take care of yourself.
The last point, many people that know me will say that I am the greatest hypocrite. I am seriously, the worst at taking care of myself LOL. I throw away my physical health every retreat/missions season. I compromise my introvert sanity by making too much time for people. There used to be a time when I ate less on the weekdays, so I can take kids out to eat on the weekends. Time and time again I threw myself into the fire, hoping that through my efforts I can do my best to impact people. I thought I was faithful to the message of Jude 1:23; but I was becoming more focused on my efforts, rather than the God who works miracles through my small sacrifices.
So forreal, learn to take care of yourself. Have some fun. Take care of your physical and mental, emotional wellbeing. Value the calling that youâve received, and do your best to cherish it while you have it. Ministry isnât forever; Jesus is, though. May this time of serving not drive you to the ground, but rather continuously point you upwards the Savior who awaits you at Home.Â
Ministry is hard, and it honestly really sucks sometimes (LOL). But Jesus seriously makes it so worth it, and the reward of seeing people change is seriously greater than anything I can ever describe. God is seriously so, so good, and itâs so different being able to see it from the other side of the pulpit. I am still learning, and still growing in all those 20 things that Iâve mentioned. Donât ever stop learning, and going deeper into the truths of God; we will be doing that for eternity afterwards anyway.
To commit everything, to the One who never leaves the 1 behind.
You included.