The day seemed to be going on forever and he felt like the whole world was against him. Nothing was going his way, people had complaints he couldn't fix, issues he couldn't resolve, and anger pointed in his direction for things he still didn't have control over despite his so-called promotion.

It didn't matter that he was Frater, he still wasn't good enough. Look how easy it had been to replace him as Papa. The thought made his breath catch in his throat. It wasn't Perpetua's doing but he still had that heavy feeling of what if…what if he'd never shown up?

Then the guilt crashed over him like a wave, then he wouldn't have the brother he already loved so dearly and that was what was most important to him, his family.

Still it did nothing for his mood. He ached to be touring with them, to be with Perpetua and all his ghouls. He was glad for those that stayed and that Swiss had returned home but…he needed them…he really needed them right now.

He blinks back angry tears and heads into his next meeting, already knowing it was going to be a mess just like everything else had been that day. He tried his best but yet again, nothing was resolved, just more answers he didn't have for people who *still* seemed to be more powerful than him.

He felt small, insignificant, like he didn't have a place at all in this whole big, wide world. He felt like a bug about to be crushed under a giants shoe and there was nowhere for him to run.

Copia stormed down the hall, panic burning in the back of his throat, squeezing at his chest like a vice. He knew there were tears on his face but at this point he was too far gone to do much about it. Another thing that slipped through his fingers, just another thing he had no control over.

He can't focus, he hardly even knows where he is until big warm hands gently grab his shoulders. He jumps, his breathing becoming more panicked.

“Copia, hey I've got you, you're safe. Let's try to slow that breathing down.”

It's Aether, he realizes, voice warm and familiar. He pulls Copia close, chest to chest which has worked for them before when Copia had gotten this bad. He tries to focus on his slow breathing, the steady beat of his heart.

“It's ok. I'm right here. It's just us. Breathe with me, mo ghrá.” He draws in a few intentionally deep breaths, giving Copia something to work with. “You're doing great.”

“Can't-” He manages to gasp. “Aeth-”

“It's alright. Let's sit down.” Aether guides him to the floor, kneeling in front of him. “Focus on the wall behind you. Can you feel it? Feel all the spots it touches?”

He notes his shoulders press against the hard wall, the way his spine presses and the small of his back. Then he works to his elbows, how they bend and how his hands press hard against the cool floor.

“Very good.” Aether smiles, reaching out to touch his hand. “I'm here. I'm with you. I'm not going anywhere.”

It's comforting, having Aether as an anchor of sorts, some kind of port in the storm. He realizes his breathing had slowed down.

“There we go, you've got it. In and out.” Aether continues to guide him gently until he settles, his head thumping back against the wall behind him.

“Sorry.” His voice is strained when he talks and he winces.

“Hey, no sorry’s. You've got nothing to apologize for. Wanna talk about it?”

He doesn't, not really but he knows if he doesn't get it off his chest it'll crush him under the weight. “I can't…I just can't seem to get the hang of it.”

Aether smiles sadly and takes his hand. “Let's go to the den. It's better to be comfy for these types of conversations.”

He can't argue with that. And the den sounds nice right about now, warm and comforting, a true home.

Aether doesn't let go of his hand as they walk, squeezing his fingers occasionally like a silent promise that he was there, that he really wasn't going to leave. Copia clings like a child, frightened of what would happen if he were to let go.

He's sure he'd just crumble.

The den can't come into view fast enough and once inside, Aether helps him out of his shoes and jacket, untucking his shirt and undoing the top two buttons to make him more comfortable. He'd offer him something to wear once he fully calmed him down.

He leads Copia to the couch, glad to see someone had already made themselves a little nest that would offer comfort for him. Aether guides him down and sits close, pulling his legs over across his lap.

“Whenever you're ready. Take as long as you need.”

“I won't keep you from your duties-”

“My pack comes first.” Aether said calmly but firmly. “Duties can wait.”

Copias eyes water at his words and he nods, he knows this but still he can't help but feel guilty for pulling Aether away from his job. With a sigh, he wipes his face, sniffling and feeling pitiful.

“It's too much.”

“What?”

“Everything. I'm supposed to be in charge but…but I'm not, not really. I can't do anything I'm expected to do. No one listens to me. I'm just a big joke.”

Aether frowns. “Who doesn't listen to you?”

“The higher ups. The big wigs. I'm just…I don't even know.” He shakes his head. “I'm not even the face of this whole thing anymore. It was just gone, just given away to someone else.”

“You miss it.”

“I do. And I feel guilty, it's not to say Perpetua doesn't deserve it, he's amazing and it's so good to watch him! I'm so proud of him, I'm proud to be his brother it's just…I wasn't ready. I didn't think it was goodbye.”

Aether squeezes his hand. “It was sudden. I'm sorry that it feels that way for you, it isn't fair. You should have been consulted more.”

“I'm not trying to be ungrateful-”

“Your feelings are valid, you have every right to feel what you're feeling.”

“I miss travelling with all of you. I miss the crowds. I even miss that miserable little bunk on the bus and the temperamental mini fridge.” He tries to laugh but it's a little wet. “And…I didn't have time to really get to know my brother before he was swept off. That hurts.”

“It's not the same but, he calls right? You guys get a chance to chat?”

He nods. “Yes. But I didn't even know he regressed until the other day! He called with Rain, he was upset that he missed me and it just…I wasn't there to help him, I'm not there to help him adjust to this new life.”

“But you are helping him. You're doing more than you know I'm sure.”

“I'm glad the others are with him.”

“He's in good hands. They'll always look after him but I understand, it's not quite the same. I still sometimes feel that way about Dew. Sometimes they call because he's crying and I can only do so much from here. But, it helps, it's not perfect but it's enough for now.”

And that helps, knowing Aether understands. “Does it all ever just feel too heavy?”

“Yes. But then I seek out you all and it's not so bad anymore. I know I'm not holding the whole world by myself.” He smiles. “You're not either. We're here for you.”

And maybe it had been an awful day but Aether was right, he wasn't alone. Even now he could hear cumulus and Swiss laughing upstairs, music filtering down.

“Can I just stay here for a while? It's lighter here.”

“Absolutely! Come on, come change into something comfy and I'll get those two to join us for a cuddle pile and snacks!”

He wouldn't dream of saying no to such an offer. His phone chimes as he's changing into Aethers pants and one of Dew's shirts and a sweater that Cirrus left. As if they talked him up, it's Perpetua and Copia smiles at the text.

“Just saying hi! We are stopped and shopping for a little bit. Will call later to tell you what we got! -p”

His chest warms, thinking of all the times that was him out with the group. “Have fun! Can't wait to hear all about it. -c”

He wanders back downstairs, smiling at his waiting ghouls and the smell of popcorn filling the air. It's not perfect.