Back On Air!

“Hazbin Hotel: Raising Hell”

Summary: After Heaven’s defeat, the Hazbin Hotel fills with sinners seeking revenge, not redemption. But while Hell edges toward war, Alastor faces a far more dangerous problem—his injuries are turning into another impossible pregnancy.

Lucifer: *making macaroni art of ducks* Huh?? *realizes someone is talking to him* Oh hi! Hello! *jumps up from his seat* Sorry you uh… caught me when I was in the creative zone. *clears his throat* Well… I’ve been okay… not perfect… but better than yesterday… I think?

Belle says I’m doing better now that I’m on medicine… but I still have the thoughts from… I don’t know what to call it. The past? The not-happening now present? Fictional world? *shakes his head* I was really in a bad way.

And I’m happy Sammy is doing good! *looks away* I’m scared… I keep having those nightmares about… *stops talking* No. I can’t say it out loud. It’s too horrible. *sits back down* I can’t keep having those dark, intrusive thoughts. Sorry but I need to go back to my art work… *goes back to gluing pasta on paper with a scared expression on his face as the bad thoughts were returning*

Alastor: *pushing Calliope in her stroller and hands Sammy back to Charlie* Are you sure you two can handle him? You did pass him off to me.

Charlie: *now holding her brother* Of course! We just needed some sleep.

Vaggi: Sorry for freaking out like that.

Alastor: Parenting isn’t for everyone. Certainly not for the faint of heart. Now I have to take Calliope for some errands, including the doctor. So I may not return until late.

Charlie: Alastor relax! We can handle this! What could possibly go wrong!

Alastor: *smile tightens* Famous last words my dear.

Charlie: Wait what did you say?

One week later…

The Hazbin Hotel is louder than usual.

Not with music.

With screaming.

Charlie stands in the middle of the living room, hair a mess, robe half-on, bouncing Sammy awkwardly against her shoulder like she’s following instructions from a cursed pamphlet.

Sammy: *screaming, face red, fists clenched*

Charlie: *near tears* I fed him! I changed him! I sang to him! I tried the duck thing! Why is he still crying?!

Vaggi: *pacing, rubbing her temples, holding a bottle she reheated three times already* Okay, okay—maybe he’s overtired? Or undertired? Or—why do babies do this??

Sammy: *cries harder*

Charlie: I am literally the Princess of Hell. I have faced exterminations. I cannot defeat this baby.

Sammy hiccups, then wails so hard he briefly turns bluish.

Vaggi: *instantly panicked* Okay—nope, nope, that’s not good—Charlie, give him to me—

She takes Sammy, trying to soothe him. He only screams louder.*

Vaggi: *strained* …He misses your dad.

Charlie: *voice breaking* I know. I miss him too.

Alastor leans against a doorway, arms crossed, watching the chaos with sharp, thoughtful eyes. Calliope sits on his hip, quietly chewing on one of his gloves, perfectly content.

Calliope: *happy baby noises*

Alastor: *dryly, to himself* This is certainly a mess, huh Calliope?

Calliope: *looks up at Alastor’s voice, still cooing*

Another minute of screaming passes.

Charlie: *finally snaps, turning toward Alastor* —Okay! Okay, no, I can’t do this! *crosses the room in a rush* Alastor, please. I’m begging you. You have a baby. A functional, healthy, not-crying baby. You know what you’re doing!

Alastor: *arches a brow* My dear, I never said that.

Calliope pats his cheek approvingly.

Charlie: *desperate* Please. I can’t run the hotel and watch my baby brother scream himself sick. I can’t.

Vaggi: *steps in, tense* Charlie—

Charlie: Vaggi, I’m serious. He needs someone who knows how to help him. And right now? That’s not us.

Sammy: *lets out another raw, exhausted cry*

Alastor: * grin falters—just a fraction* …No.

Charlie: *grabs his sleeve* Please. I’ll do anything! I’ll even make another deal with you

Vaggi: *grits her teeth* Charlie, we don’t make deals with him anymore.

Charlie: *eyes wet, voice shaking* I already did once. I survived it. And Sammy needs this.

Alastor studies them both for a long moment. The stress. The fear. The genuine desperation.

Alastor: *sighs* Very well.

Charlie: *brightens instantly* Really?!

Alastor: *raises a finger* On one condition.

Vaggi: No.

Alastor: *ignores her, voice smooth* I will care for the boy as though he were my own. Feed him. Soothe him. Protect him. I will not let harm come to him.

He looks down at Sammy—really looks. The exhaustion. The searching cries.

Alastor: In exchange, I require two favors.

Charlie: *swallows.* …What kind of favors?

Alastor: *smiles wider* One from you, Princess. One from you, dear Vaggi. To be named at a time of my choosing.

Vaggi: *steps in front of Charlie* Absolutely not. No. We are not bargaining our souls over babysitting.

Charlie: *quiet but firm* It’s not my soul. It’s favors.

Vaggi: Charlie—

Charlie: *looking at Sammy, voice breaking again* He’s suffering. And Dad trusted me. I can’t fail him.

Vaggi: *angry, conflicted* You know this is exactly how he gets leverage.

Charlie: I know…Deal.

Vaggi: Charlie!

Alastor: *extends his hand, glowing* Do we have a deal?

Charlie hesitates only a second before shaking.

Alastor: *static crackles softly* Splendid!

He gently takes Sammy. Almost instantly, the crying slows—then softens into weak sniffles.

Sammy: *small, tired noises*

Alastor: *low, surprised murmur* …Ah. There we are.

Calliope leans over, touching Sammy’s sleeve.

Charlie: *hands over her mouth, stunned* He stopped…

Vaggi: *exhales sharply* I hate that this worked.

Alastor: *adjusts both babies with practiced ease* You may visit anytime. I will keep him safe until his father returns.

His tone turns just a shade more serious.

Alastor: Lucifer’s boy will lack for nothing.