;;

Jake: wait seriously?

Jake: so, you're a lesbian? Bi?

Jake: I won't judge, you dont even need to tell me

becky: i dont know

Jake: I.... won't lie it hurt but congrats?

Jake: Zoe seems.. interesting to say the least

becky: what? no..

becky: hey!

becky: i just wanted to apologize for the party.

ZOE KNEW HOW SHE’D FEEL WITHOUT TORI. ❝ let me know how it goes when you do. ❞ she wanted her to know there was always a safe and secret place with her. ❝ it’s fine. it’s nothing you or anyone here could’ve prevented. i’m unapologetically me and that’s all i’ve ever wanted. ❞ deep down she wanted that relationship with her mother back, but she wouldn’t admit that to anyone, especially herself. ❝ and even after putting dallas through everything, he’s really been one of the best people in my life. ❞ the little contact becky provided was comforting. zoe saw their family dynamic from the outside, especially during everything with luke. ❝ you’re too sweet. ❞ she smiled. ❝ and with your parents, it may take time for them to come around. don’t give up right away, you’re actual sunshine. anyone would be able to see that’s not worth losing. ❞

a smile “that’s really admirable.” becky had always wished she could be like that but she cared too much what people thought of her. she figured if she faked it enough, it would happen but it never really did. “dallas is great. that reminds me though, i also should talk to jake. i really feel bad for using him” she kept her hand on zoe’s until the other wanted to pull away. she shook her head “their faith is too strong and they’re rooted in their beliefs. i don’t think they’ll be coming around” 

HER EYES WENT SOFT. ❝ you’re not a terrible person. you’re going through a weird time, especially understanding who you are and everything that comes with it. ❞ zoe understood all the feelings that came with every aspect of sexuality. she suppressed everything for a long time. ❝ i think you should. i’m sure imogen wants to talk to you too. ❞ she inhaled sharply. her coming out experience wasn’t amazing and felt it would encourage becky, but didn’t want to lie about that part of her. ❝ be warned, it wasn’t what i had hoped for. so, when i was fourteen i started questioning my sexuality. well, i kind of knew right away. it clicked in my head so easily. back then, i was really close to my mom. when my dad left us i leaned to her for all my protection. i went straight to her before anyone else and told her about what was going on. she completely brushed me off. she would say stuff like you can’t be gay look at how you dress. it was very difficult for me, so i shoved it aside. i was a different person after that. one thing led to another and now i’m here. i was closed, but dallas was there for me. i felt i owed him, that i needed to have feelings for him. it became too much and i came out here. i was met with an overwhelming amount of support. how my mom feels? i’m not sure. ❞ zoe withheld the fact that she was staying elsewhere while school was out. overall, she was glad to be out but she yearned for her mother’s approval above anyone else’s.

“yeah, i’ll talk to her” she would just have to get up the courage to do so. she actually missed her best friend. as becky listened to her story, she felt sad. “oh, i’m sorry, zoe” it was similar to how she felt except, her family always preached to love as god loved but they turned their back on her and praised luke. maybe that was why she was struggling so much with everything. she grabbed her hand again and squeezed it gently, a soft smile on her lips “well, she’s missing out on being a part of the life of someone truly amazing” 

THERE WAS A SENSE OF CALM. ❝ i’ll be here. ❞ but it seemed to only last a moment. ❝ imogen? ❞ zoe held shock in her voice. ❝ have you guys talked at all about what happened? or even talked at all? ❞ she hadn’t anticipated such a difficult situation to navigate. imogen usually seemed to go with the flow, but this isn’t just casual. ❝ i’m glad you feel better about it. do you plan to come out here? ❞ she didn’t want becky to feel any pressure in the different aspects of this journey.

slowly, she shook her head. she had felt bad about not talking to imogen and pretending like nothing ever happened. “no, i completely acted like it never happened. i’m such a terrible person” she tugged on her bottom lip “i.. want to but i’m nervous. what-- uh, how did it go when you came out?” 

“ i had a blast, thanks jake !! “ 

SHE SYMPATHIZED. her facial expressions went soft hearing becky talk about her experience. ❝ i’m sorry he did that. i can’t imagine the emotions hovering around. ❞ zoe’s hand clasped onto becky’s and gave it a small squeeze. ❝ you deserve a support system that will allow you to talk about everything. ❞ pulling her hand back, another question entered her mind. ❝ who was it? ❞ it seemed irrelevant, but she liked the information. ❝ how do you feel now, though? telling someone? ❞

becky wasn’t surprised by zoe being supportive. she had always been that way towards her but it was nice. she finally got her secret out and it felt like a small weight had been lifted off her shoulders. “i have you now, that’s enough.” she smiled. that was dropped fairly quickly “imogen.” she felt bad. imogen was her best friend but she hadn’t talked to her since that evening. she’s not even sure imogen wants to hear from her anymore. “i feel .. better. its like, a weight lifted” 

OH SHIT. zoe sat silent for a moment. obviously information like that didn’t bother her, but it was shocking coming from becky. ❝ i did not expect that.  does anyone else know? ❞ there were a million questions coursing through her brain, but one at a time would be more beneficial. she remembers all the questions she was pelted with. ❝ i’m very sure we could duet that. ❞

she exhaled, relieved to at least told someone and not get backlash from it. unlike from her parents. “well, no. i mean, my dad caught me with a girl once but they pretend it didn’t happen. just like everything else” she shrugged. 

ZOE CONTEMPLATED FOR A MOMENT. ❝ hm … yellow. ❞ she was amused with the word association game. she listened intently to becky, a smile on her lips. ❝ i like hanging out with you too. but why do you feel like you’re faking? is there something you’re holding back? ❞ after everything the other did during the trial, zoe thought it was important to be there when needed too. ❝ what’s your song? ❞

it took her a moment, stomach turning as she thought about telling anyone what she had been feeling lately. but she felt like maybe she could tell zoe. “i think i might like girls” she admitted. truthfully, becky didn’t know if it was the recent rebellion or if she was actually feeling this way. so think seemed like a good thing to say. “the song i’ve been singing lately is Exhale by Sabrina Carpenter” 

IT SEEMED SIMPLE ENOUGH. ❝ alright, for sure. ❞ zoe half expected the following answer — so much for jake not being brought up. ❝ i honestly should’ve guessed. as friends? i mean, he made it seem like he appreciates you as more than a friend. if there’s any funny business, i’ll be there. ❞ it was half a joke. ❝ totally. i have no doubt our harmonies would be spectaular. ❞

“okay, you go first” she grinned. a shrug. “i mean, he’s sweet but, i don’t know.. i feel like i am faking around him” she admitted. “actually, i feel like i’m faking around everyone.. except you. i like hanging out with you” zoe had become one person who she could be herself around it. “oh, for sure.” 

SHE WAS GLAD THE CONVERSATION WAS AVOIDED. ❝ for sure. and yes summer. what did you do? ❞ zoe propped herself up on her elbows. she had many different relationships throughout the school, typically complicated. ❝ i’m not saying we need to, but if you were curious about anything. ❞ she tried to clarify. ❝ are you going to the party with anyone? well, i’m not really sure if it’s a date type thing. ❞ she watch as becky turned on the tv. some white noise to fill any silence they came across. ❝ you should put on some music. might just here me sing. ❞ she joked.

she had a lot of questions. some that didn’t seem appropriate even if she did trust zoe to keep them. “tell me the first thing that pops into your head” she thought maybe that would get the ball rolling. “uh, yeah, totally randomly jake asked me. at least i’ll be going with a friend” a small laugh fell from her lips “oh, i can totally do that. i bet we’d be good together” her eyes widened “i mean, our voices, obviously”