Becca's Big World Of Media

I’m starting a new series, now that my associates degree is over and done and I’m onto a four year degree I thought why not still use this account to escape from reality a bit and write about films. Ever since I was little I always loved movies. I was so emotionally attached to the way the characters would act and the charm they presented. Especially in romance films where the guy would win the girl or vice versa. I think it ties into my sexual identity and the way I treat the person I’m with. I always am constantly thinking about certain scenes and try to go into depth about how they achieved a certain angel or cut. In the movie Flipped, which is definitely one of my top 10 movies I loved the way the story line was told from Julie and Bryce’s perspective and how at one point it was either Bryce who liked Julie or Julie who liked Bryce until eventually at the end they finally connected and talked at the same time because they knew they finally both felt the same. I like the character Chet who was Bryce’s grandfather and how he came to form a sweet bond with Julie because she reminded him of his wife who had passed away. Chet stood up for Julie and her family when Bryce was still figuring how his character. I think when Chet talked to Bryce about his character and how Julie was iridescent, a person like no other, it opened his eyes that Julie might just so be the girl he’s always liked… he’s just always had a hard time admitting it.

Bryce’s father also pushed him to be a better man because he saw how he acted with talking to his grandfather, his sister, the Baker’s and he knew deep down inside it wasn’t right. I liked how the movie showed Bryce becoming a young man in a sense and how at the end he defeats all odds and never crosses the line over to his fathers behavior. Instead he moves past, and focuses on the future and what he wants… Which is Julie. To watch the dynamic and different life styles of the Baker’s and Loski’s contract through out the film was interesting. The Baker’s suffered with money and taking care of the father’s autistic brother and the Loski’s were struggling with domestic violence, verbal abuse and a poor family dynamic mostly stemming from the father. Mr Baker definitely had internal sadness and anger deep inside his soul that he took out on everyone else. He knew his life was not the way he dreamed and that Mr Baker and his two boys were actually living their dreams and he was jealous. The ending is one of my favorite endings of any film because it ties everything into place. I also liked how Julies father didn’t say anything and let her figure out why Bryce was digging a hole in her yard. The sycamore tree was a tree that was Julie’s whole world and he knew if he were to plant one in her own yard that she worked hard to clean up, and that would never have to be cut down again that he would win her heart.

His dazzling eyes and character build throughout the film made his charm stand out even brighter. His true self was coming out, one that loves Julie. They planted the tree and held hands once again, reconnecting them from years ago when they were just young kids. In my personal opinion this movie is a 10/10. From the script, to the directing, editing and just overall vibe it’s a classic.

Government Name and Past History:

Ivy Grace Valentine, an American anti-hero with an unfortunate childhood. She was born on August 11th, 1983, in the upstairs of a tiny apartment in upper Manhattan, New York City, in the neighborhood of Manhattan. Her mother Amelia lee Valentine, age 31 when she had Ivy, had rejected her the moment she was born. Ivy had never had the raw connection of her mother’s touch. It was nearly impossible considering that her mother was mentally ill. She was diagnosed with Bipolar affective disorder when Ivy was two years old. Her father was never in the picture, Ivy’s mother would tell her that once she got pregnant with her he vanished off the face of the earth. She has no other siblings and grew up isolated from the real world. Her mother would tell her that the outside world was dangerous and she had to stay in the apartment complex. Ivy’s childhood was tragic and she didn’t have support from anyone. Any family she did have was from her father’s side and because of his disappearance they never talked. When Ivy was five years old, her mother’s mental illness was getting out of hand and she started to verbally and physically abuse her. The neighbors in their apartment complex heard a commotion and called the police. The cities, social security workers, and child protective services had to get involved and they decided that separating Ivy from her mother was the best option. Her mother ended up facing court and was charged with the endangerment of a child. She was brought to manhattan’s mental health hospital and that is where she is currently residing. Ivy was brought to the city's local children foster care complex where she would stay as she got older. She was raised by the foster care system. At the age of ten, she was told that her mother had put her up for adoption because she was incapable of taking care of her. It took until age 13 when a younger couple came into the facility asking to meet the kids because they were interested in adopting a child. The agent told them about 13-year-old Ivy Grace Valentine and her story and they fell in love with her. They adopted her on December 21st, 1996 and that would be the first time Ivy felt like someone genuinely cared and wanted her in their lives. Her foster parents are Jamie Andrews and Todd Andrews, a young couple that sadly was unable to conceive a child and decided to look into the adoption process. They lived in a nice suburban neighborhood in WestChester, New York. They gave Ivy anything and everything she could ever ask for. They helped her heal from the unfortunate childhood she was given. At the age of 18, Ivy had finally graduated high school with the help of Jamie and Todd. Ivy didn’t have plans after high school, she stayed home and worked at a local diner while trying to figure out her destiny.

Current History:

On Tuesday, March 18th, 2001, Ivy had been working at the diner when two men in suits and dark shades came in and sat at the booth of the establishment. She overheard them talking about a woman in a manhattan Mental hospital who had escaped because the government did secret tests on her in an underground lab. Right away she had the gut feeling that they were talking about her mother. That night instead of going straight home after work she got on the highway and headed for the city. She parked down the street from the hospital and put a hood over her head. She was able to sneak in, she went through the dark hallways and found the file room where she searched for her mother's file. It was nowhere to be found. Ivy went snooping around for anything she could find as a sign of her mother. She was running out of time until she heard a loud boom that felt like it came from the basement. She crept down the staircase, three floors until she saw the basement door. It had a small glass window and it had a red glow. She peeked through and saw men in hazard suits working on some scientific experiments. Her curiosity led her further as she crept into the lab. These men were discussing a material, they called Lithium, that could wipe out a person’s mental illness however, they wouldn’t use it positively. They would wipe out a person's brain and hypnotize them into minions that would only inhabit what they taught them. They wanted to take over the city and if they could train and develop a person’s brain into only knowing to follow a higher authority and cause destruction they could. Ivy was in disbelief, she was the only one that knew that this was going on and she was confused why they used her mother as a test subject. She wondered if they had cleared her mind of all memories? Before she got out of there in time, she had bumped into a box, causing a loud bang. The men heard and saw her shadow run along the wall. They started to throw the chemical at her, maybe thinking it would be the first person they infect. It hit her and she screamed in agony. She suddenly started to breathe heavily as these men stood in disbelief. Her hair started to turn green, her eyes were bloodshot and her psyche became bigger. Her arms muscles were more defined and her voice was deeper than before. The Lithium that hit her didn’t erase her memory instead, it made her into a stronger, green-haired superwoman. She stood up and turned towards the men. They started to run but before they could Ivy clenched her fist and punched it forward causing a wave of destructive energy to lift the men off of the floor and killed them.

At this moment Ivy had realized she had developed the superpower of extreme energy and force. It allowed her with the simple move of her arm to cause mass destruction. Ivy was invincible now. She had green hair, was 5’8, had pale white skin, bloodshot eyes, and a defined body that gave her a boost of confidence. She felt like she could conquer anything. Her childhood fueled her into thinking that she could survive anything. Instead of this power, allowing her to do positive things the only thing she wanted to do was find her mother. She felt empowered, smarter, and lighter because the weight of her childhood wasn’t on her shoulders. She possessed the chemical Lithium in her system and like the men had discussed in the basement of erasing people’s memories she wanted to use the power she had to tell her mom her childhood the way she had always wanted it to be. How Jamie and Todd had raised her. Ivy’s character is an anti-hero because her only focus is to change her mother’s memory on a fantasy, she isn’t using her powers for good or to help the city. She is doing it out of trauma from her childhood. Ivy was neglected, abandoned, and still somehow cared about her mother that she was willing to “fix” her so she could live the life with her that she had always wanted. Ivy is an advocate for getting revenge, she advocated for allowing people to change a person the wrong way and fighting for something that is not meant to be. Ivy after on the journey to find her mother doesn’t use her powers for anything. She ended up finding her mother in a local shelter because she was found by an older woman laying on the street. Ivy then sat with her mother and with her extreme force hypnotized her brain into only remembering what Ivy was telling her. She stated, “you have no mental illness, your daughter Ivy is your greatest gift and you cherish her and love her more than anything in this world. Your goal is to make her happy, and yourself happy, we live in a grand house with a rose-red door and we live happily”. Her mother obtains the information and since that moment is a different woman. Her mother does anything and everything for her. Ivy was lucky that the lab didn’t kill her mother but she is also lucky that she obtained this power because if not she was planning on killing her mother in revenge for how she treated her. In a sense, Ivy is an anti-hero and villain because she only cares for herself and wants revenge instead of coping with the situation in a healthy way. Ivy had to spend her childhood being beaten by her mother and living with her mental illness. Ivy and her mother ended up leaving New York and now they are living in a house in a suburban neighborhood in the down of Boulder Colorado. Ivy dyed her hair back to blonde and has contacts for her bloodshot eyes. She wears long sleeves and pants while out in public to hide her intense muscles.

I believe that Ivy’s character is most likened to Deadpool, Batman, and Joker from the Marvel Cinematic and Dc Universe because she is a dark-hearted girl, who has a terrible upbringing that changes her whole life around. Similar to the stories of Joker, Batman, and Deadpool because they all have a certain situation that transforms them into the hero/anti-hero and villain. Batman had to watch his parents be killed in front of his own eyes when he was a young boy. Deadpool’s body is disfigured in the use of torture and it affects his love life and his social life. He seeks revenge similar to Ivy on the person that “ruined” his life and has no mercy for what he does. Joker based on the 2019 film is living with an extreme mental illness that makes him stand out to a crowd. His whole life he is called out for being weird and he is looked down upon. He takes care of his mother who he learns was never his real mother at all and he kills her. He destroys the city of Gotham and it causes an uproar of support from people who were also misunderstood and want change. Ivy’s childhood causes her to seek revenge when she hears her mother has escaped due to a scientific experiment. She knows that her mother's mind is blank and with her power she can transform her life the way that she wants it to be.

Future:

Ivy’s future is filled with some bliss, she hasn’t died, she still lives in Boulder Colorado with her mother. She eventually had to change her name because her adopted parents had an investigation put out on her disappearance. Her new name is Synia Lynn Coldmire, and she and her mother live a quiet life with little social interaction to avoid them being discovered. Ivy doesn’t know what would happen if the higher authority found out of her powers. Ivy Grace Valentine now known as Synia Lynn Coldmire, left a negative legacy on the human race because she gave the idea that revenge and changing a person’s memory if given the power could fix all of their problems. Ivy was lucky that she was given this power in the first place because if not she would still have to live her whole life without her biological mother and heal from her experiences. She was given a power that was dangerous to society and selfishly used it for her good. She left her adoptive parents. Jamie and Todd in the dust granted they were the only people that gave her a sense of peace and love. She left a legacy of selfishness. However, even though her mother is cured of her mental illness and only remembers to love Ivy, Ivy has to live knowing that without that power her mother would have never cared about her. Now she lives in fear of being caught by the government. What a life.

The movie Irréversible directed by Gasper Noé is a psychological thriller drama film that portrays the romance between two lovers and the tragic event of rape. The movie takes place in France and was released in 2002. The director shot this movie differently than any other cinematic work I have watched before. First in the beginning the credits are played first, indicating that the film is backward. Secondly, the film is shot differently by the camera in a spiraling, swirling motion to emphasize the thriller and drama that is happening. Giving the viewer a sense of nauseousness and discomfort. The noise of sirens and dark music helps narrate the beginning and the seriousness of characters Marcus who is played by Vincent Cassel and his best friend Pierre who is played by Albert Dupontel who seem to be on a mission to find a man by the name of “Le Tenia''. This is because supposedly he is the one that committed the crime against Alex who is played by Monica Bellucci. Personally, the beginning of this movie had me very confused because it was hard to understand what was going on. This is because I didn’t realize at first that the movie was played backward and once I got to the ending it all started to click and piece together like a puzzle. The ending portrays the love between the characters Alex and Marcus, 1hr:16m:36s-1hr:24m:05s, they are both cuddling, naked, and making jokes with one another as they are in their apartment. The romantic intimacy at the end makes the viewer understand why Marcus and his best friend Pierre, who we learn was also a previous lover of Alex are frantic in finding this man “Le Tenia” at gay and gentlemen clubs throughout France. When watching from start to end things aren’t given many contexts however, one event after the other we can piece together why certain events happened. Marcus acts careless, assaulting people left and right in pure anger at the start of the movie because we suspect that this man “Le Tenia'' raped and brutally assaulted Alex in an underground tunnel. His best friend Pierre notices the rage in Marcus because he constantly tells him to relax and to stop acting like an animal, 0h:15m:15s-0hr:15m:31s, Pierre tells Marcus, “We will find him, Stop, Stop this now! You’re not a man, you’re an animal. Even animals don’t seek revenge”. And Marcus replies, “It’s my right! Drop it. It’s my problem”. I believe Marcus is more enraged with what happened with Alex than Pierre because Alex is Marcus' girlfriend and he was in love with her. It’s interesting because this movie had my feelings and thoughts scattered all over the place. In the beginning, before I knew what had happened to Alex I agreed with Pierre because I didn’t understand why Marcus was acting like a savage beast. However, after I knew why he was acting in such a way I was glad that Marcus wanted revenge on the man that raped and brutally beat Alex because he deserved to feel the consequences of his disgusting, savage actions. Alex deserved justice for what had happened to her and Marcus was the driving force behind it. Shortly following the confrontation between Marcus and Pierre, Marcus finally runs into a man who seems to be “Le Tenia'' yet he doesn’t say yes or no instead he starts to fight with Marcus drawing suspicion to himself. In this scene, 00hr:21m:50s-00hr:24m:10s, the man gets Marcus on the ground and crushes his elbow he then proceeds to say “I’m going to fuck his ass” and before he can do anything Pierre takes a fire extinguisher and bashes the mans face in until he is unrecognizable.

The movie shows the rape of Alex first which, a trigger warning is a very graphic scene and can be difficult to watch. Scenes that depict and show sexual assault and rape are always difficult for me to watch. They make me very uncomfortable and angry. However, I think it was important and intentional for the director to include a scene in this graphic because this is a subject that needs to be touched more on in the world of cinema. It needs to be brought to the world's attention that women and girls are not objects and don’t owe anyone anything. They can wear revealing clothing, dresses, skirts, tank tops and it doesn’t mean they want to be cat-called or touched or unfortunately in Alex’s case raped. The rape scene goes on for about 8 minutes, 00hr:43m:43s-00hr:54m:54s, and after the man who is suspected to be “Le Tenia” rapes her he then assaults her by kicking her and bashing her head onto the concrete. After this scene, the film brings us to the life of the party where it shows us why Alex found herself in the tunnel in the first place. Marcus is acting recklessly at the party and is on drugs and this makes Alex upset, she tells Marcus she is going to go home and he tells her he will bring her home and it’s not safe. However, he wasn’t sober and ended up not following her home and that’s when she was assaulted. I think this is why at the beginning of the movie Marcus is acting crazy because he feels guilty for not walking Alex home and he wants revenge on whoever hurt her. I would believe anyone would feel guilty if they weren’t to help and be there for the person they loved. If I were to give this movie an overall letter score I would give it an A- because I believe that it’s an excellent work of cinema that is highly misunderstood by the viewer. At first, it is confusing because of the way it starts from the end to the beginning however, the director did that intentionally to portray how a person’s life can turn violent and deadly in the blink of an eye.

A similar film review also helped emphasize the positive that I mentioned about how this movie is misunderstood, “Why is the movie so misunderstood? A large part of the reason is Gasper Noé’s fault. He did such a good job completely alienating the audiences with brutal scenes of rape and violence that a lot of what the movie was trying to say was lost in translation… It might’ve been a brilliant satire, but it was so disturbing that it was years before I could get my wits together to finally think about what it was saying and doing. People just couldn’t get past the brutality” (Minababe). I completely agree, at first I couldn’t get past the brutality of the movie yet once I did and the pieces started to click the deeper meaning triumphed over the brutality. As another similar review explains the purpose of the chronology of the film and why Gasper Noé directed it to be this way, “The fact is, the reverse chronology makes “Irreversible” a film that structurally argues against rape and violence, while ordinary chronology would lead us down a seductive narrative path toward a shocking, exploitative payoff. By placing the ugliness at the beginning, Gasper Noe forces us to think seriously about the sexual violence involved. The movie does not end with rape as its climax and sends us out the theater as if something had been communicated. It starts with it, and asks us to sit there for another hour and process our thoughts. It is therefore moral- at a structural level” (Ebert). This was beautifully said and explains why the director filmed it this way and the deeper meaning behind it. This is why I gave the film an A- letter rating because so much thought and creative energy went into creating this film that It deserves an A-.

Overall I genuinely enjoyed watching this film, the sexual assault was hard for me to watch yet, the way the movie was set up when I got to the end I almost forgot about it and was more focused on the love between Marcus and Alex. In a film review, that covered rape culture in the movie Irreversible and other works, stated a quote by the director himself explaining why he structured the movie in this format, “I walked out once during a rape scene in a movie, which came in the middle because I said, “Well if this is the middle of the movie, I don’t want to see what happens next. ‘ “I suppose in my movie a lot of people suspect that the end of my movie is going to be worse than the beginning because that’s how the climax of the movie works. “The fact is if they stay they will get something that will erase these first images.” (Tribble). A cinematic masterpiece in my opinion that sheds light on rape culture in film and every single detail in the film was thought out. Nothing went overlooked and that’s why I gave it the letter grade of an A-.

(The video attached is available to watch and view by clicking Watch on Youtube, the only reason why it's unavailable is because of the restricted age due to the talk and scenes of rape culture in movies)

Wow hi, guys… these couple of weeks have been busy with midterms however I’m glad we are discussing the nature of this week's assigned films. These five films were a lot to watch emotionally. The five films assigned were Mysterious Skin, Boys Don’t Cry, Moonlight, Call Me By Your Name, and Brokeback Mountain. The focus of all of these films was LGBTQI & BIPOC representation. I believe that the media world needs more representation of the LGBTQI & BIPOC culture and these films opened the gates to the vulnerability of this topic. Being a part of the LGBTQI I could relate on some level to the struggles that each character in these five movies went through. Their struggles were portrayed purposely to shine a light on people of this culture and the struggles they face in different environments. As well as what people can do differently in a positive light to protect people such as Brandon in Boys Don’t Cry. Out of all the films that we had to watch the one that had emotionally stuck with me was Boys Don’t Cry. It was just such a raw film that had me glued to the screen from beginning to end. Let’s dive deeper into this convo, shall we? I believe that there is such a thing as the “Queer” visual style that includes cinematography, mise-en-scene, and editing that could be read through their visual style. Each movie had a different way of presenting this for example in Call Me By My Name the director Luca Guadagnino uses light and dark colors, the beauty of Italy in the summertime, and nature to narrate the story between Elio and Oliver. According to the website Networks.h, “Many queer filmmakers working outside of that system, have been producing work that not only offers more nuanced, complex characters and stories, but that also often looks completely different, as though these stories simply could not be told, not these characters represented, in the visual language of Hollywood” (Queering the Camera Eye). The style that Call Me By My Name and these other films had didn’t come close to Hollywood’s generic stories. The stories told by these “Queer” filmmakers are authentic and carry such a powerful sense of emotion it almost leaves you speechless. In the film Call Me By My Name the ending scene to me was so powerfully and displays the “Queer” Visual style so powerfully. In the scene, 1hr:59m:00s-2hr:02m:10s Elio played by the heartthrob Timothee Chalamet and his father played by Michael Stuhlbarg sat down on the couch in the father's study to talk. The camera was leveled with both Elio and his father as they sat closely on the couch. The room was a shade darker than the rest of the movie to represent the seriousness of this conversation and the script was beautifully done. Elio’s father starts to casually say that the relationship between Elio and Oliver was wonderful indicating that he knew what had happened between them in the summer. It gets deeper as his father turns his body completely facing Elio and takes off his glasses he says, “You had a beautiful friendship. Maybe more than a friendship. And I envy you. In my place, most parents would hope the whole thing goes away, to pray that their sons land on their feet. But I am not such a parent. In your place, if there is pain, nurse it. And if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out. Don’t be brutal with it. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster, that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything ― what a waste!” This scene made me cry while watching it at 3 am and I’m not one to cry very easily. The cinematography, the script, the way everything was done in this scene was brilliant and I think represented the “Queer” style perfectly. Even in the year 2021, there is still not a lot of “Queer” representation.

The first film starring a homosexual character was Love Simon and that was released in 2018. There are not many scenes in cinema that display the moment between parents and their child when they come out or have a conversation about sexuality. I also find it interesting that every movie focuses on LGBTQI+ representation however, each movie is drastically different and portrays the Queer Style differently. For instance, In the film Moonlight (2018) Chiron’s character has many struggles starting from when he was little to when he was older. The one struggle that has always been constant in his life is his sexuality and being called slurs such as “faggot”. Young Chiron then starts to question himself, in the scene, 00hr:33m:20s-00hr:34m:54s, Chiron asks Juan “what is a faggot” and Juan explains to him that it's a derogatory term used to make gay people feel bad. Chiron goes on to ask if he is one and Juan says no but even if you were you will figure it out later in life and don’t let anyone call you a “faggot”. This scene is so important to the “Queer” visual style because the demographic the movie is set in makes it seem like being “queer” is not accepted at all yet, there are people like Juan who do accept it and care for Chiron. The scene also was set up to be a close, serious, intimate scene. Chiron and Juan were sitting close together and facing one another. I admired this scene a lot because I didn’t know what Juan’s initial reaction was going to be at first. It could have gone a completely different way however, Juan reassured Chiron that whatever he identifies as he will be there for him. According to Time, “The life of Chiron is delicately revealed by cinematographer James Laxton who portrays him a distinct pallet of blown-out color photographs that set his life in a faded part of Miami where screenwriter and director Barry Jenkins was raised. With shots burned by lens flares and bold camerawork viewers are reminded that being personal at every level can help a story resonate with an audience” (Moonlight: Behind the Making of the Oscar-Nominated Movie). That’s what “Queer” visual style is meant to do, its meant to leave a sense of connection with the audience. A story they can relate to and look up to. All the movies we watched for this week do have the same thing of coming out or the struggles of being in the LBGTQI+ community.

As I mentioned earlier the film Boys Don’t Cry shook me to my core. Especially the ending. It was the type of movie that had me yelling at the screen or wishing that Brandon or someone would get back at John and Tom for what they did to him. On the topic of intersecting in the “Queer” visual style, Brandon's character is a trans male and experiences body dysphoria and gender identity. Brandon has to conform to heterosexual stereotypes to fit in and represent a male as much as possible. He wears a binder, boy underwear and shoves a sock in his pants to represent a bulge. In the scene, 31m:20s-32m:35s, Brandon comes out of the shower and is getting dressed. He puts on men's underwear and lays a binder, a dildo, and a sock bulge on the bed. He puts the sock bulge in his pants and makes sure it looks similar in size to an average man's bulge. He then wraps the binder tightly around his chest until his boobs are compressed where he looks like he has a flat chest. This scene displayed how Brandon felt and looked like an average man by making sure he had a bulge in his pants, wear men's underwear, and resemble a flat chest of a man. The expectations of masculinity were amplified for Brandon to fit in and be safe from hate crimes. According to an article by the New York Times, the director Kimberly Piece commented, “I loved that Brandon shaped himself into his fantasy of himself as a boy and lived as a man and loved women,” Peirce said, “so I always understood that about him-- the courage, the audacity, the invention, the humor, the naïveté to live so authentically and boldly as he wanted” (Bendix, Trish). That’s the beauty of “Queer” films to see how the characters despite their struggles still are their true selves.

Another example would be how race intersects for instance the movie Moonlight (2018) is a black film that represents the hardships of being black and “Queer”. Chiron’s character was bullied for being a gay man and this comes back to haunt him when he grows up because the only touch he ever felt was from Kevin and he constantly searches for that same feeling until they meet again. In the scene, 1hr:00m:27s-1hr:1m:55s Chiron is targeted and bullied on school grounds and Tyrone and his friends tell Kevin to “get his faggot ass”.

I do believe a queer film has the power to use queer aesthetics to shape and influence the perceptions and emotions of its audience and in some ways, it can queer an audience. I also believe movies that represent this culture can bring awareness, educate and maybe give empathy to people who don’t fully accept this culture. In the film BrokeBack mountain, Ennis and Jack are two cowboys who can only express their love for one another in the mountain tops of Brokeback Mountain. Jack is more willing to break society's stigmas but Ennis isn’t and his love for Jack is put on the back burner because of his responsibility to provide for his family. In each of these movies “Queer,” people are constantly put down and bullied for being who they truly are. In the scene, 1hr:11m:32s-hr:12m:30s, Ennis opens up to Jack about why he can’t live the life that Jack dreams about with him because when he was little his dad took him to see the body of an older man who was killed for being who he wanted to be. Ennis explains how these two older men were living on a Ranch and were the joke of the town. He is even convinced that his father might have done it, however, since he saw that when he was little he has been paranoid about the chances of being caught and killed for living his life freely. This scene made me heartbroken because Ennis was terrified since he was little to be anything different than straight and it impacts him to his adult life.

In the film Call Me By Your Name nature I believe emphasizes the beauty of a homosexual relationship and romanticizes falling in love in the summertime. It almost doesn’t even feel like it’s between two men it just feels like two individuals that fall in love. I feel if I were a straight person and watched this film it would open my eyes to the beauty of a homosexual relationship and the culture. In the scene, 00hr:55m:23s-00hr:57m:25s, Oliver and Elio are laying in the hot, dry, green gas, soaking in the sunlight. Elio says he loves everything about the moment they are in and Oliver asks, “us you mean?” and Elio responds with, “eh it’s not bad”. Oliver turns over and kisses Elio. This was their first intimate physical touch since Oliver had come to study with Elio’s father. The hot summer sun and the peaceful feeling it gave Oliver and Elio played a role in the start of their relationship. Throughout the rest of the movie, nature was everywhere. Out of all of these movies, I really can’t say I enjoyed one over the other. All of them were what I thought uniquely represented the LGBTQI+ community and brought awareness to the culture. Being that I am lesbian and am apart of this community it’s always nice to see the representation and learn from others' experiences even if they are fictional characters. And as always be who you want to be because as Elio’s father said In Call Me By Your Name, “our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. And before you know it, your heart is worn out, and as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it”. I also included a picture of me at Pride a few years ago for anyone who wants to go who hasn’t I recommend.

Out of all of the five movies assigned to watch my two favorites were American Psycho and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I have to give credit though to the other three movies because they were brilliant. Especially Parasite, the cinematography and the way the movie flowed were exceptional. The endings of American Psycho and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest stood out to me the most because of how raw and shocking of a reaction they left on me after watching. You could say that both of these movies made me a little psycho and cuckoo… I’m gonna pretend someone laughed at my embarrassing pun. Now let's get to the topic of discussion here with discussing the endings of American Psycho and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. The ending of American Psycho played tricks on my mind because it made me believe that what Patrick Bateman did was just a false reality and it never happened. Rewind towards the ending when Bateman goes on a psychotic killing spree. After things keep getting worse such as killing the old lady who interrupted him trying to shove the cat into the ATM, killing NYPD officers, and blowing up two cop cars, the spree kept going. Finally, Bateman is in his Pierce & Pierce and makes a call to his lawyer, he tells him everything, as he is hysterically sobbing through the phone what had just happened. He confesses to killing more than 40 people. The next day Bateman sits and has drinks with his business colleagues and he sees his lawyer. He walks up to him and asks him if he got his voicemail. His lawyer thought the voicemail was hysterical and Bateman had a hard time understanding why his lawyer was laughing at his confession. Bateman says again that he killed Paul Allen and before he can get another word out his lawyer, Harold says Uhm no... I was just with Paul in London a few days ago and we had dinner. Bateman’s face got stiff, his face was shiny from all the sweat and I think this is the moment in the film that was the clear image of Bateman's hallucinations, false reality, and declining mental health. I believe the purpose of this ambiguity was to portray the pain that Bateman suffers every day because of his mental illness. According to the website CinemaBlend, “The more significant takeaway is meant to be present in the satire that comes in Bateman admitting his horrific crimes and nobody taking him seriously. He not only lives in an entirely shallow existence where "inside doesn't matter," but he has been driven to the point where he has become a mystery even unto himself, and only really knows that he wants to inflict his inner pain on others. Tragic as it is to say, the number of people he may or may not have murdered is inconsequential -- like the film's existence as Bateman's confession” (Eisenberg). His lawyer doesn’t even take his confession seriously so Bateman is left alone in his world to question what reality really is. Did he kill any of those people or was that just him imagining how he wants to inflict his pain onto others? The character's motives only lead to a temporary sense of catharsis like for example one of the most brutal scenes in the film was when Bateman kills Paul in his apartment. He played music that spoke to him lyrically and he got a clean ax, covered his floor, couches, and himself in plastic, and took his jealousy and frustration out on Paul by killing him viciously with a perfectly sharpened clean ax.

After Bateman would kill any of his victims he would relax for a little but yet not too long after he would be itching for another. The ending of American Psycho tied the movie up perfectly in my opinion. It didn’t necessarily satisfy my expectations. It left me in a curious state of mind because I thought wow did he even kill these people or was this all a part of his imagination? However, I think the way it was written was purposely brilliant because it ties in perfectly with the topic of mental health we are examining because was this a figure of Bateman's deranged mind, or did this actually occur. Overall, in my personal opinion, it was a fantastic movie.

The second movie that I will be diving into detail in is One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. My Dad would watch this film when I was little. I would watch films like Indiana Jones and other older films with him however, I never watched this one so watching this film kinda reminded me of that experience I had with my Dad growing up. I enjoyed watching this film a lot, something about the aesthetic of an older film it just makes you feel so alive. The ending of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest left a permanent scar on me because of how raw and emotional the scene was. Mac's character when first introduced was a guy who was full of life and wanted to bring the same light to the men of the mental hospital. Towards the end of the film, Mac holds a party for the men and brings two girls along. Billy and the one woman end up hooking up in one of the rooms and come the next morning Nurse Ratched finds him. After the discovery of Billy, she threatens to tell his mom and this drives Billy off the edge. He takes a piece of glass and while he is sent to wait for nurse Ratched in the other room he kills himself. The discovery of Billy’s death infuriates Mac because he saw so much potential in him and because of Nurse Ratched's threats, Mac strangles her to the point where she almost dies. As an inhumane punishment Mac has a lobotomy that permanently turns him into a zombie. In the end scene, Chief which, over time becomes Mac's best friend in the mental hospital notices that Mac has become a zombie and makes the quick decision to kill him by suffocating him with a pillow. Chief does this because he knew that Mac would rather be dead than be a zombie in Nurse Ratched’s mental institution.

Similar to the ambiguous ending in the film American Psycho the ending of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest had an ambiguous ending. According to the website Shmoop,” McMurphy has become a hero to the other patients in the ward because of his ability to stand up to Nurse Ratched. The others would be devastated to see Mac wandering around with dead eyes and a scarred forehead. So Chief decides to take matters into his own hands and to give Mac back his freedom, saying "I wouldn't leave you here this way" and smothering him. Then Chief gives freedom to himself by breaking out of the hospital and running off into the forest” (Shmoop Editorial Team). Chief and Mac discussed earlier in the movie that they want to run away to Canada and live a peaceful life so Chief decides to kill him to give him his power and keep Mac’s legacy living even when he is physically gone. This is why Chief purposely takes the sink out of the floor and throws it through the window so he can escape and run free to Canada to pay tribute to Mac. As for Mac's character, strangling Nurse Ratched I believe did provide him with a sense of catharsis because he was able to get revenge on her for unintentionally killing his friend Billy. However, the relief didn’t last long because Mac gets sent to be punished by the mental institution. Punished as if sent to be lobotomized. As for Chief's character, Mac helps him by leading him to a sense of catharsis throughout the entire movie. Before Mac officially came to the mental hospital Chief was considered hard of hearing and didn’t pay any mind to anyone. However, according to the website Looper, “ McMurphy impacts Chief the most. By watching Mac refuse to take anything lying down, Chief learns how to be as "big" in his actions as he is in stature — and he feels like he owes that to McMurphy. Without the con man giving him the confidence to talk and break free from the ward's toxic environment, Chief would still be silently sweeping the hospital floors at the movie's close. Chief knows that someone like McMurphy — who is so full of life — would never want to live after being lobotomized. Being a prisoner on Ratched's ward was hard enough for Mac without being a prisoner in his own body” (Harbet). Killing Mac gave Chief the final sense of relief one needed because he knew that Mac would never want to be a prisoner in his own body and with the courage he gave Chief, he finally breaks free, keeping Mac’s legacy alive and living his life.

The ending One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest was so unexpected for me that my hand was over my mouth and my eyes were peeled to the screen. At first, I didn’t fully grasp why Chief was suffocating Mac however, once he ripped the sink out of the floor It all connected. I personally don’t think the ending could have been written any other way. It was a perfect way to tie the film all together while also highlighting the harsh theme of mental illness in that time and not fully understanding the negative consequences of treatment and what it can do to a person like Mac. It saddens me that this happened to Mac because he was a regular guy at the beginning of the film and a soul in a cold body at the end however, the ending gives the audience a sense of catharsis because we all know why Chief did what he did. Mac helped Chief get his life back and Chief helped Mac preserve his life for the man he really was. Overall I believe that One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest was one of the best films I have ever watched and I enjoyed watching it for this class for the first time.

I loved watching the show Euphoria the best out of all of the assigned movies and shows. It’s been something I’ve been wanting to watch for a while so I thought this was the perfect opportunity to binge the whole season. The movies and shows assigned to watch were, Euphoria, The Breakfast Club, Mean Girls, Mid-90’s and KIDS. I know... That’s so fetch, right? Throughout each film, there were tons of astounding characters, some being well known throughout society. Perhaps Regina George rings a bell to anyone? However, despite all of the fantastic characters in each work, I feel as if I identify with Rue from the show Euphoria the most. I feel the most connected to Rue because she is a young teenage girl who has to deal with mental health issues but also the fact that she has fluid sexuality. She likes men, women and just gravitates towards anyone she feels connected to. I'm part of the LGBTQ+ community so the amount of representation I felt in the show was slightly overwhelming. Especially since many older shows and films lack representation so when something arises with more LGBTQ+ representation it makes me happy. I also know how it feels to be in Rue’s shoes, especially with her relationship with Jules in the show. The whole season is a rollercoaster of Rue and Jule’s relationship and as the season progresses Rue finally takes the leap of faith and kisses Jules. **Sorry if I spoiled it for anyone** I’ve been in situations with past relationships where I liked a girl for so long but never could make the move and it was interesting to see Rue’s confidence build and I think her becoming sober helped with that aspect. An article titled The Unicorn Scale written by bi.org it discusses the different sexualities and identities of the characters in the show. It states that Rue, “Rue’s sexuality seems to be unexplored but fluid, she is clearly interested in men, women, and everyone else. Rue’s bisexuality is not shown as the cause or causing her drug addiction, it is simply another facet of who she is. Her nerves seem limited to the normal anxieties we feel for our first love” (The Unicorn Scale: Euphoria) Rue’s character also goes through many ups and downs throughout the season. She struggles with drug addiction and staying sober. She lost her Dad to cancer and had to have her younger sister find her overdosed in her room. Three common themes I’ve noticed in each of these films and shows are one, family dynamic/struggles, sex, and, coming of age moment.

The first theme, family dynamic/struggles is relatable to youth culture because growing up as a young adult or teenager can bring a lot of family issues. For example, in the movie MID90’S the main character Stevie is physically abused by his brother Ian. In one scene, Ian barges through Stevie's room in the middle of the night and punches him repeatedly. There is also no father in the picture and his mother is a single mom. So this could contribute to some of the reasons why Ian abuses Stevie. He could be taking out his anger in the only way he knows how and that’s with violence. I feel that people, especially young men struggle with dealing with their emotions and healthily expressing them. This theme also relates to me because I struggle with family issues and throughout the years it has taken a toll on my mental health. We also see in the movie KIDS the family dynamic and how it affects the main character, Telly. In one scene they show Telly’s mom taking care of the baby in their small city apartment. Telly asks for money and the mom says she doesn’t have any to give. Telly goes out and says he will be back later. The mom is so focused on the baby that she is not paying close attention to her son and what he is doing. This negatively affects Telly because he gets into the wrong group of people. This happens often without young people, it's a form of negligence that can lead people down the wrong path.

Another example is the dynamic between Nate Jacob's and his father in the show Euphoria. From a young age, Nate has been intimidated and scared by his father. In one scene, Nate’s father comes into his room and tells him how he played in the football game. Nate and his father get into a physical altercation and Nate starts to beat his head repeatedly against the floor. The second theme of sex is a big issue in most of these films and tv shows. When viewing and studying youth culture I’ve noticed how sex is a big part of a young person's life. Especially when I was in high school, sex was a majority of what people were talking about and it always mattered who was hooking up with who. I didn’t necessarily care for it and I had my experiences later in my life and at the end of the day, I don’t think it’s worth the hype and stigma around it. There are more things to do and talk about than sex. In the movie KIDS for example the main discussion of the film was sex and how the main character Telly wanted to have sex with virgins because they were seen as pure and innocent and he had the power to take that away from them. In the movie MID90s, the character Stevie has his first sexual experience and it was very real for many young people. In the scene, he starts to shake and get nervous, in an interview conducted and written by Slate Culture, asks Jonah Hill, the director of the Mid90s film, about the scene. Jonah states, “To me, showing it as harsh and as honest as it was back then was the point. You know? The point that this kid is terrified and shaking during his first sexual experience. And we get to see that as the audience. And he only gets happy and excited once he realizes it’s his currency to raise up through the group And that’s a fucked-up lesson that a lot of people now are having to unlearn from this time period And to me, I just wanted to show how that was and let the audience see that for what it is” (Bloomer) When you have your first sexual experience it can be a very nerve-wracking moment and in youth culture, the sexual experience is different for many and I believe it's split between boys and girls. As portrayed in these films for the young men, when they have sex it’s a powerful experience that boosts their confidence when they tell the group of guys they are associated with. For girls, it’s a moment that is more kept to themselves and cherished in a sense.

Being that I identify as a lesbian my experience doesn’t follow the heterosexual story so it’s interesting to me to see how the experience can be for heterosexual people. Lastly the last theme of a coming of age moment. I feel that when you are a young teen there is always this hope that you will have this coming of age moment like in the videos. I feel that Hollywood does a good job of exaggerating what a coming of age moment is for a teen. The film that is a clear example of a coming of age moment is the iconic Breakfast Club. According to the source, Movies, “The Breakfast Club (1985) is perhaps one of the best examples of a classic ‘coming of age’ plot. The film details the lives of five high schoolers stuck in a weekend detention together, only to have the misfit gang bond together despite their differences. This cast of characters are delineated by the conventional roles they fill: the Outcast, the Princess, the Jock, the Basket Case, and the Brain” (Holderbaum) The Breakfast Club shows how highschoolers defeated the stigmas and social scale of highschool. This connects to me a lot because high school was a very difficult time for me. Just like the movie we watched Mean Girls, I was at the bottom of the social ladder because I was different from a lot of people. Being a lesbian, out in highschool isn’t fun especially when you have guys who say “I can change that”. Despite the exaggeration by Hollywood with this big coming of age moment, I believe that my coming of age moment just like the Breakfast club was defeated the social ladder and being a confident, strong, lesbian at the end of my high school career.

The soundtrack of a film, TV series impacts the narrative of a story because it can uplift any emotion or feeling a character is feeling or trying to portray. The soundtrack can make or break a film/show. The soundtrack is a narrative of the story and can bring chills down your spine when watching a film. If a soundtrack is not done well the movie is not as impactive. In the movie the Breakfast club mostly everyone knows the famous song Don’t You and the iconic last scene. If it wasn’t for that song I believe the movie would not have been as famous. The playlist I made called Adolescent experience is a list of 10 songs that define me and myself growing up as a young teen trying to figure herself out. The first song on my playlist is, Electric Feel by MGMT, this song was one of the first songs that I listened to when I got my first iPod. The feeling it gave me felt like I was in an indie film when I would listen to it on long car rides. The second song on my playlist is What You Know by the Two Door Cinema Club. This song helped me with coping with my feeling of being lonely and feeling like I had no one to connect with, especially with being a young teen still stuck in the closet. The third song on my playlist is Little Secrets by Passion Pit. The band Passion Pit was one of the first bands I ever discovered and fell in love with. The fourth song I have in my playlist is 1901 by Phoenix. Anytime I listen to this song it gives me this feeling that I can accomplish anything. The fourth song is All For Us from the show Euphoria and sung by Zendaya and Labrinth. I love this song because it reminds me of the love I carry to many people in my life and how it can be tiring doing things for love all the time. The next song, Work by Rihanna is one of my favorite songs to dance to and it reminds me of a great memory of my middle school best friend Nina and me. The seventh song is Butterflies by Kacey Musgraves, this song is very meaningful to me because it's me and my girlfriend's song and it’s a reminder of the growth I have made within myself and my love life. The eighth song is Cruise by Florida Georgia Line, this was the first country band I started listening to when I was younger and the band reminds me of a very traumatic experience in my life. The ninth song is Man I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain. This song strikes a happy memory in my childhood because when all of my siblings were little and would be in my mom's suburban driving down the road we would sing this with her. The last song on my playlist is The Less I Know The Better by Tame Impala. This song just gives me an overall feeling of happiness and it was a song I listened to a lot when I was in a really good spot mentally.

Hello everyone! My name is Rebecca Hambrick and this is my first official blog post. I can already tell this is going to be great and fun class. I’m 19 years old and will be turning 20 shortly next month. I graduated from Washingtonville High School in 2019 and this is sophomore year at SUNY Orange. I will be graduating this May with an Associates in Liberal Arts and Humanities. I picked this major because I was very undecided and it can be very anxiety provoking when you hear the question, “WhAT dO yOu wANT tO WiTh YoUr LiFE?” So I thought why not take a bunch of different courses and see where it goes while also working towards a degree. Now that I’m graduating I can say that I definitely feel a lot better with the path I want to take in my life. I want to major in psychology with a possible minor in media production... I know what two different interests haha. My plan is to aim for a job in the human services field (Not sure yet) and do media related work on the side.

My interest besides anything related with media is working out, being outside, painting, drawing, napping, being active such as working out, hiking and pennyboarding. The last movie I watched was “Get Out” directed by the brilliant Jordan Peele and the last show I watched was an episode of Breaking Bad. My parents started to watch it and I sat in on an episode and it’s actually so so good that I might start watching it myself. The last video game I played was GTA and the last book I read (which I am currently still reading is...) “Calm the F**k down by Sarah Knight and Sasha O’Hara.

The last thing I remember making was a painting of Bart Simpson posing as the 1991 Nirvana Album Nevermind... and a painting of cool Lisa because she’s just rad haha I know random. 

Lastly the most important question... Obviously and probably the hardest one for me... the last meal on earth. If I had to eat one last meal on earth it would probably be a good burger, Mac and cheese and a brownie sundae. Wow I really want that right now...