long live the queen

Honestly if they back off I think it would be a lot more painful for me. They feel like a comfort blanket I had missing my entire life and having that means everything to me, mama. It’s just a matter of adjusting to them and figuring out how I fit in with them. I understand that it’s all entirely in my head but I feel like the odd one out. Like eventually everyone is going to realize I’m an extra piece they don’t need. I just need to get over myself.

I get it, baby. If there’s anybody in the world you don’t have to explain that feeling to, it’s me, and not just because I’m your mother. Back when I lived in camp, my relationship with my family was...really complicated. I did a lot of things that I’m not too proud of trying to prove that my dad could love me, and basically half my relationship with Nick was fighting, I lived with Klaus for about six months at one point. Don’t feel bad about it, those witches all screwed us over. It’s really hard for me sometimes, still, too. But I need you, okay? As lost and confused as you feel, don’t ever doubt that.

No I actually really like their attention. It’s just weird actually having family in the form of parents friends since I didn’t have it growing up, you know? And seeing what my life would have been like if things hadn’t happened makes my heart happy because I always thought dad was lying to me.

Let me know if that changes, okay? They all know what it’s like being overwhelmed by family out of nowhere, so they can back off. Especially Kellan, he means well, but he can be...well, he’s Kellan, he can be a pain in the ass. But, I do get it, believe me. I wasn’t that great with family for a really long time when I found it, either. You know, he won’t say it, but I think Damien feels the same way. I’m happy you two get to have this.

Mom, I didn’t doubt that I was supposedly stuck with you. I want to be with you as much as possible and I know that you feel the same way about me. Although it’s taking a lot of adjustment getting use to Kellan and everyone wanting to spend time with me too.

I will never be finished making up for stolen time with you, Aurelia, that’s just the way it is. But that being said, if any of the others get to be too much, tell me. I can tell them to back off for awhile. 

I don’t think anyone questions you giving them hell, mom. I think everyone has accepted that everyone is stuck with each other. At least you and your friends.

If they hadn’t by now, then they clearly don’t know me very well. It’s all part of the charm. But my friends aside, you are stuck with me, you know. Might as well get used to it, sweetheart.

Because you love them too much now for things to change.

True, but I still question it. Stupid as Kellan is, he’s been a live safer for more than just your aunt Kat. But I’ll be giving them all hell for the rest of time either way, there’s no getting around it.

What’s up mama?

I’m friends with a bunch of weird idiots. It’s been twenty years, and sometimes I still wonder why I put up with them.

“For this town? Absolutely.”

“I’m sure Nick and Josh are both off doing something dumb somewhere, but yeah, it’s weird. I don’t like it.”

I really need to get out of the house

Since when do you have problems finding something to do?

I might have to spice things up around here.

Please tell me that includes me. I’m so bored.

“Should I really believe that things are actually quiet around here?”

“It’s creepy, right?”

Especially because I forbid it

I am remarkably hard to kill, don’t worry. Even though Josh seems to forget that when I’m the size of a whale, for some reason.

Have you asked Bonnie? I’m grateful Liv is helping you but I trust Bonnie more than almost anyone. She’s one of the most powerful witches I’ve ever known. I know…I know. I’m sorry, Beca. 

I haven’t, but she...she said she’s working on it anyway. I’m sorry, too. After everything that’s happened, I should be better than this. 

Last time, we weren’t prepared. We didn’t think that would happen in a million years. Now we have our witches back. I’m sure Bonnie or Liv could find a way to make sure you guys stay together no matter what happens. There has to be some kind of binding spell to keep you guys together…if it happened. 

I know Liv was...looking into it when we found out about the baby. But I don’t know if she ever figured it out. And Katherine, she...keeps swearing if anything happens again, she’d kill them. She said the look I had when I found out I was pregnant reminded her of how she felt after she lost Nadia. Daddy, I don’t want to lose everything again.

I know it’s been a while since you’ve done this but we’re all gonna make sure you’re okay. Nobody’s gonna let anything happen to you or that baby.

It’s not that. I know I can...do it again, and that you wouldn’t let either of us get hurt. It’s...the last time I did this, she got taken away from me for sixteen years. I can’t go through that again.

It’s not like this is the first time. The first time was scary, but everything’s gonna be fine.

I think he’s just...trying to be scared for the both of us so I won’t be. It’s not really working, but I don’t want to tell him that.

I’d hope not.

If I haven’t yet, I doubt I’m going to. Josh keeps freaking out, I forgot how much weirder he gets when babies are involved.